osmium Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 I was in an 8 year relationship with a guy who is two years younger than me. We broke up 2 years ago but have remained in each others lives since getting back in touch a year ago. It's been hard for me. We had plans to be together forever and I know that I tried and gave my best. When he broke up with me two years ago he stated that he wanted to see other women. We had a disagreement about some female that called his phone while we were on a road trip with my brother in the car. He got out of the car and we never spoke until a year passed. In that year his female best friend visited him from another state, they had sex and she conceived his son. I ran into him on campus and he was a bit distant. I emailed him and arranged for us to get together and that's when told me about his son (which he wasn't sure about fathering at the time). We saw each other almost every single day. He continued on supporting me financially and morally so I assumed we were trying to work things out. Later, I find out he'd been emailing other women through all types of apps and social media. So I became extremely frustrated and ended things with him. I ended up getting pulled over for a warrant for missed court and went to jail. I had my gf to call him and he bailed me out which I paid him back. 6 months pass and now we're here. He tells me that he doesn't know what he wants and that he's interested in many women. He's become so distant in terms of being relational however, he's still providing for me financially and morally. It's so confusing. We aren't sexually active and have probably had sex no more than 3 times in a year. I honestly feel as if he's looking and waiting for someone and I know it isn't me. The crazy thing is that a month before he told me that he's unsure of what he wants we were talking about getting married and he was telling a few of my relatives that "I" had a son with him. I was preparing for the next step. I feel like he's really screwed my mind and I don't know why? Where did we go wrong? I have so many questions and I'm afraid to ask for answers. What do I do now?
mystikmind2005 Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 You have been friend zoned. He does love you but not for a relationship.... and that kind of strong friendship love can cause confusion for people sometimes. You could probably push it too a FWB, but don't expect it to go any further than that. 1
preraph Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 My advice for the best way to move forward healthily is for you to NOT wait and see what he is going to decide what to do (like when is he cutting you off or is he planning on keeping this up once he has a new woman). It's time you gathered your will and sat down and made a plan that has NOTHING to do with whatever his future actions towards you are. Get a second job, if need be. Move to a new place. Fortify your life. You can certainly take care of yourself no matter how rattled and sad you are. It's time for you to take the reins from him and take control of your own life. You'll be fine. But give yourself time and stay independent and on your own for at least a year so you remember how capable a person you really are. Good luck. 1
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