Hydroponix18 Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 So I'm giving you a very condensed version my fiancé of 3 years living together wants a break there may or may not be another guy involved. She told me because of the way things have been for the last year I.E money issues, communication issues and trust issues she can't be with me I only found out about this because she said she was planning on leaving me but wanted us both to good with money as we are in a lease and have alot of financial commiments. I only found out because our cell phone back up was backing up her text messages and I was trying g to restore stuff on my phone on our shared computer. I found half deleted message about how she was unhappy with me and she was trapped financially also half delete convo of her talking to her bestie saying " let me let you in on the secret" her freind responding" he is cute get a dick pick lol" and her saying "he has the most beautiful blue eyes" so I don't know what to think. she says there is nothing going on there romantically other then he has nice eyes and that she was in the wrong making that comment. But she does want to break up because she doesn't have a emotional or intimate connection anymore due to the previous issues out line earlylier. I told her I wish we would have talked about this issues before she made a final decision so we could have the opportunity to fix them because we're both in the wrong I have admitted that I was in the wrong and am confident that I can show her change she said " I can't guarantee that we are going to get back together even if you fix these issues. That killed me I felt hopeless like I couldn't do anything no matter what it was over I didn't sleep for 4 days didn't eat was on sucide watch all that wonderful stuff. Now we're to the point where I have my confidence I told her I cannot continue to live in the same house as her on a break with out a gurentteed because it's prolonging my misery. She got pissed and said that I'm ****ing up her life because she cannot afford electric bill, rent, car and will have to quit her job move back with her mom who she hates in another state that she hates or be homeless. So to me she has options but just doesn't want to. We talked about it and now she is telling me that she can't give me a guarantee that we will get back together but that my chances are more likely then not likly. because I love this women with every cell I have. I agreed that I will stay for 30 days but if at any point in that 30 days I feel like we're not getting any closer I am going to leave with notice... I also said that if she is doing this just to be selfish and figure out what she can do to not have to move back with her mom I will turn all of the bills that our in my name and I will leave and she will never talk to me again. We're one day in to this agreement we both went out with friends had very good conversation with the exception of her bringing up that she still feels controlled by this agreement but it was short very emotional but not long and then we had went back to having a good night 2 hours before I started writing this we had sex 2 times and it was like the best sex that either of us had in along time. I just want 3rd party perspective on this am I doing the right thing. I'm confused because I'm stuck in this limbo of hope that we get back together but this really bad anxiety and dread that we wont. Any feedback will really help me out thanks..
makemineamac Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Dude, she wants out. Why are you two having sex when she won't give you what you want? Pull it together and make some decisions. Decisions for you, not her. You can take her financial commitments into account as well, it does not sound like there is anything good here. It may have run it's course, and while you;re right, she should have let you know that there were issues she could not overcome, you too could have addressed any issues you thought were affecting the relationship and you didn't. Stick a fork in it for your own good.
bubbaganoosh Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 The reason she's giving you great sex is because she either going to wind up homeless or with her mother in another state, nothing else. She knows right now that if she gives you a great evening in bed, you'll start thinking with your little head instead of your big head. All in all she's using you for a roof over her head until old blue eyes give her the high sign and then she might be waving good bye to you. I couldn't understand why you would want to share a home with a woman who has come out and pretty much told you that your relationship is toast and then the good old night or two of great sex came up and now I know. Look friend, she doesn't want to be there and if she had the means to support herself, do you honestly think you would have had a day or two of great sex? You would have been taking a couple of cold showers and that's it. Tell her to pack up and go home and be done with it because in 30 days your going to be doing this all over again so be done with it now and save yourself for more bad news.
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