Badumtas Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) Hi.I am new to this forum, i don't know if there's a thread like (couldn't found it) so ill start a new one. The story goes like this: Me and my GF have been in a relationship 4 years. As she claims it's the best relationship she ever had. All of her friends and family loves me. They love us actually as a couple and think we were made for each other. We had perfect relationship. Since the start we had this great vibe and even now when we're not together we still have it. We became family to each other. Our families met, and we told them we're getting married, shared our plans with them. We we're the happiest couple on earth. We have great mutual understanding and everything we personally seek in a partner. But there was something else. Even though we loved the idea of staying together for the rest of our life's we were too young. We just graduated, and spend all our college years together and we never had any fun out of the relationship. That wasn't such a big problem for me but for her it was. She wanted to travel, to live with friends for some time and do a lot of other things before she gets married. And she was torn apart between me and that life. The things is, i never stopped her for having this. Early in the relationship i mentioned breaking up but she loved me too much and couldn't do it. She was really attached to me. So we decided that we're taking the next step. We made plans for future and we included a lot of fun in it. Because yeah, we are young and we didn't wanted too serious life. We decided that we're going to live in another country, far from anyone we know and we're going to meet new people, have a lot of fun....So, i went to this "new country" and i was waiting for her to graduate. She had one month left. But they became three months, and she lost to will to come. She met some fun people from some NGO that travel around Europe for free and she lost her mind. She decided that she is too young to work and live the life we planned. And that she needed more fun. She wanted to find some project for her in the NGO and go some place for a year or maybe more. So i came back. I talked to her and actually i wasn't even mad. I gave her plenty of options. Hitchhiking, traveling together and all the things she dreamed of doing with me but this time i put fun on first place. We postponed any serious plan we had. But she wanted to do this things alone. She said i am young and if i don't do this now and ill stay with you forever and miss a lot of other things. You too. She said she loved me, but this was the best for us. And she doesn't want to lose me and what we had it was too important in her life. We're 24 actually. So she left. It's been 5 months since we broke up. And now she says she lost her feelings totally. She applied for lot of projects but all she got was negative answers. She met some guy and she is seeing him for some time. Nothing serious she says but she needs this in her life. And she has no intention on serious relationship right now because she needs this time to be alone. But things changed. Now she doesn't have the feelings for me and she cant say if she wants to be with me anymore. She says you are by far the best choice, and if anyone takes your place it really has to be something really better than what you and me had. And that she thins that is very hard to happen. But she can't promise something for us because she doesn't feel it now. I don't know that to think or do now. I know she wanted this things but this is killing me. Anyone we know expected us to get married. She dreamed of having a kid and even named it. She pushed for serious life far more than me and in the end she gave up on it. Do you think there is a chance that she will ever want this again? That those feelings can come back? If she goes to live in another country and we don't see each other for more than a year, is there a chance that those feelings will come back when we meet again? Edited October 31, 2015 by Badumtas
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Hey OP. Sorry you're going through this. Looks like she's already made her mind up. I think it would be a very big waste of your time to wait in the wings in case she changed her mind. Even if there was the smallest chance she might come back to you (and her actions show this chance is really, very small, at best), it's time for you to consider this relationship over and start doing things for yourself and your future that don't include her. Plan some 'fun' things for yourself, travel the world if that's what you want to do, meet new ppl, etc. as if you were single bc for all intents and purposes, you have now been single 5 months. You don't have to rush into a new relationship straight away but you do need to start thinking about doing things as if she weren't going to come back. 1
Author Badumtas Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 I am not waiting. I started my life, it's going pretty good actually. Far better than i expected. But i cant leave it like this. I really love her. And what we had it was too good to end like this. And she knows it. We talk to each other all the time. And every time we talk she cries a lot. She is feeling guilty, she can't enjoy her life now because of what she did. And she didn't wanted things to go this way, she cares about me a lot. Not as a friend tough. But she can't go back. She can't stop it because she needs this now. And she admits that she pushed her self into it. I don't think that the chances for us to happen again are really that small as you say. But yeah, i am not crazy to wait. I know that is going to be more painful for me in some time. And forgot to mention. The guy she's dating now really looks a lot like me. Her friends make jokes of her that she is seeing again with me haha
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