Gottabestrong Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 I have been doing NC for 9 weeks now and something that happened to my friend recently, just reaffirmed how necessary it is to stay away from your dumper after a breakup. She was seeing this guy for 2 years, they lived together for most of the time. He broke it off 14!! months ago. Since then they have been in touch a lot. Some periods of NC in between but this was broken by either one after 2 months or so. When they were in contact they met once a week or so for a movie's night or for some other low key activities. All the time my friend hoped that he would realize how good they were together and how he still loved her, and they would have a wonderful reconciliation. To make a long story short, last week he called her and said that they could not see each other anymore, as he had a new girlfriend and she would not approve. This came as a complete surprise to my friend and she has been really heart broken ever since. One of the worst things is that during this phone conversation he talked about how their breakup ended so long ago, so he is sure that she does not even care about whether he has a girlfriend or not. Objectively 14 months are a long time, but for the dumpee who keeps hanging on, hoping for a reconciliation, it seems like just a few weeks. Well, my friend has not stopped crying ever since. She is back in the phase of not eating, crying all the time and not being able to talk about anything else but him. I am sure most dumpees know what I am talking about. We, her friends rally around her and try to make sure that she is alone as little as possible, but it is still very hard for her. So the lesson I learned from this is that you really should not stay in touch with your ex if you still have hopes of reconciliation. Because one day they will have another partner, and you will be heart broken all over again.
AndrewJ Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Couldnt agree more!!! Self inflicted pain if u allow your slef to be a victim
greenhorn Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 I agree with this 100 %. I would like to quote "Alphamale" here, he had said lots of times that being friend with an ex is like getting a consolation when you have missed the million dollar prize. One should never be friend with an ex particularly those who are dumpers. A dumper needs to be hated by dumpee rather than being friend with.
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