HelloKitty520 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I am a pretty little girl with sweet voice, innocent look face(this is what others described me) . I miss him and i couldn't focus on studying sometimes. Let me tell the story first:) On the first class of the semester, I found the professor handsome, charming, knowledgeable, and easy going, kind of attractive to me.He teaches great too. So I asked one question during the class, and another question after the class when it's my turn to leave a signature. He looked so happy and excited and asked: What's your name? I was a little shocked and so did another student next to me. I answered him and left with shy. Not only because I like this professor, but also I have been interested in this course from long time ago, This is the first chance I study this course, so I decided to email him whether I could do a project with him next semester. He didn't reply me and I felt a little upset. I was surprised the next week he come to talk to me with charming and pure smile,told me he didn't have projects with students before,but he would apply to school.I become so happy and nervous because I already asked the school as long as the professor apply a project for a student to the school, the school will prove it.So I should have great chance.I was still shy and didn't talk to him much. I didn't keep in contact with him the 3rd week, I think it's still because I was too shy and nervous.when the 4th week come, I emailed him again asking what is the thing going on.After the class, he talked to me again, said he was going to talk to his PhD students to check whether there are projects available for master students.He would let me know later. He also invited me walk at the campus together for a few minutes. I felt there is some connection between us. After about 2 weeks, he told me the result was there were not any projects available. I was so shocked because the deadline for applying projects is coming soon and he didn't refuse me earlier! But I still said I was just interested in this area maybe I could work for him too( I think I made a mistake here, I should say for him for free.But I am not sure).He said he would keep in mind for that. I couldn't understand why he treated me like that, since at the class we had eye contacts sometimes, I felt he was interested in me too. he called my name many times at the class before and after i asked him about the project. Although sometimes he called others' names too, i was the one who was called earliest and most frequently at the class. I felt hurt so I avoided looking at him any more at the class and I think I also showed an unhappy face to him. But I found him search me and stare at me in the class and looked a little disappointed. During the pass weeks he still called my names at the class, smiled great. I just kept silent mostly and never showed happiness or unhappiness again. Sometimes he still looked me, wish I would talked to him.But I didn't. About twice I met him at the campus but i just avoid say hello to him. We have the similar taste on clothes too. Sometimes we just have the same clothes only with the different size and color. I felt lucky and embraced. On the other side, actually I still miss him, I search his publications online, I even found his Facebook! But I didn't send him friend request as I felt it is a little strange to connect with a professor in such a situation. I didn't see any ring on his fingers.So maybe he is not married? I don't know what I should do now. I just like him, hate him and miss him at the same time. I think i have a crush on him. I want to approach him but I am just not sure. I know it's not good to become too close to him now because it would make both of us risk the life, but I wish we could become intimate friends first when the semester is over. The professor is about 17 years older than me. I like his sweet smile just like my smile sometimes. He is good looking and I think he is just right man I want. But he is the professor and he is much older than me. Maybe I could accept his age. I am afraid of being refused and i never pursed boys before. I was that kind of girl just let the boys to purse me and then just pick one not to bad. By the way, I am one of the best students at the class. Is it possible we become more close? What could I do to make it happen? Thank you for reading my story and I hope I could get some help!
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 professors like the students who pay attention & engage with them in class. Because you are a good student who asks questions, your professor pays attention to you. For him there is nothing more. He can & will lose his job if he goes beyond that. If you like & respect him leave him alone. After you graduate, with diploma in hand, you can return & see if there is more to interaction but not before. 2
edgygirl Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 You can do... the Indiana Jone's student eyelid "Love you" student - Indiana Jones Wiki - Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, Last Crusade, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Young Indy, and more! - Wikia 1
RecentChange Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 I am just going to say it would be best to put him out of your mind and try to concentrate on the course work but nothing more. I KNOW of professors banging students - my friend was sleeping with one of our professors when I was in school (at a University of California). I am sure she wasn't his first.... It's a total abuse of power on his side (and I can't believe he would risk his career like that). It's normal to develop crushes on mentors and superiors. I have done it multiple times over my life. But its NOT smart to try to push those crushes to the next level. Try to keep cool, don't dwell on him, and once the semester is over, he will be out of your life. 1
Author HelloKitty520 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 Thank you. Yeah,I know. So I think I could wait if I really want this chance. I am just not sure now. I also just to calm myself down. I feel the professor wants to talk to me sometimes,but every time i just do the signature when he is talking with other students so never give a chance to each other to talk again.I just try to avoid him. Actually I should talk to him in a professional way more since I am interested in this area. Another thing i forgot to mention is once when he was answering other students' questions I just walked out and sit on a bench to wait for my friend to have meal together. After a few minutes, my friend still hadn't arrive so i got up while i saw the professor was walking towards me but his face turn away from me frozen there without moving, and nobody else was behind or in front of him except me. so I just left the building quickly to avoid embarrass. Wasn't it strange what the professor behaved? professors like the students who pay attention & engage with them in class. Because you are a good student who asks questions, your professor pays attention to you. For him there is nothing more. He can & will lose his job if he goes beyond that. If you like & respect him leave him alone. After you graduate, with diploma in hand, you can return & see if there is more to interaction but not before.
RecentChange Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Seriously, stop dwelling. I was horny as hell in college (hahah still am now) - but no good can come of this. He CAN'T date a student, its against codes of conduct. Do you think he will throw his career away to date you? 1
Ami1uwant Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Are you undergrad or grad student? If you are an undergrad he gets fired for having a relationship with you. If you are a grad student he gets fired for having a relationship with you if he is grading you in a class.
Author HelloKitty520 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 Yeah, I know that.Thanks:) I think first he was a little interested in me and later he realized he couldn't take the risk. I don't want to take the risk either. I am just thinking whether I should communicate with him with a more professional or normal way. If I will work on the same area as him in the future, maybe I should learn more from him now and keep in contact with him in the future. And then just see what will happen. By the way, I am a science student. Seriously, stop dwelling. I was horny as hell in college (hahah still am now) - but no good can come of this. He CAN'T date a student, its against codes of conduct. Do you think he will throw his career away to date you?
Author HelloKitty520 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 I couldn't do that:( You can do... the Indiana Jone's student eyelid "Love you" student - Indiana Jones Wiki - Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, Last Crusade, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Young Indy, and more! - Wikia
Author HelloKitty520 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 Graduate. Yeah, he grades me this semester. Do you mean when the professor doesn't grade a student any more,they could be together? Are you undergrad or grad student? If you are an undergrad he gets fired for having a relationship with you. If you are a grad student he gets fired for having a relationship with you if he is grading you in a class.
Maggie4 Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 You are not his intellectual equal. You are a "pretty little girl with sweet voice, innocent look face". No professor wants that for a partner. The only grad students I've known who had a real relationship with a professor, were really strong women who were superstars and later surpassed the prof in research and position. These are women who can lead a department, not pretty little girls. Crush or no crush, I suggest you become more serious and less cute, more forceful and less soft, if you want to survive as a woman in academia. As for the prof, he can't be with you if you can't command respect. 1
CarrieT Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 A professor could lose his job/tenure if he fools around with a student. Most won't go there with a ten foot pole. 1
Author HelloKitty520 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 I may go into industry rather than academia, as I am not sure whether I could devote myself into research many years without any significant result. The professor also told me long time research is difficult. People said I have two sides. Another side of me is smart,tough and strong willing. I come from a family most of the members are doctors or teachers.But I don't work hard sometimes,just want to relax. Maybe this is my problem. However,I still want to know more about that area, maybe I will change my mind to go into research. I understand what you said. But it's the professor shows interest in me first. I know I should stop thinking of that. I try all the time. Just because sometimes he looks like me again make me go into the fanatic again. Thanks! You are not his intellectual equal. You are a "pretty little girl with sweet voice, innocent look face". No professor wants that for a partner. The only grad students I've known who had a real relationship with a professor, were really strong women who were superstars and later surpassed the prof in research and position. These are women who can lead a department, not pretty little girls. Crush or no crush, I suggest you become more serious and less cute, more forceful and less soft, if you want to survive as a woman in academia. As for the prof, he can't be with you if you can't command respect.
Author HelloKitty520 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 Thank you. I know. But why did he show interest to me, pay so much attention to me, and even behave a little strangely to me? A professor could lose his job/tenure if he fools around with a student. Most won't go there with a ten foot pole.
Lois_Griffin Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 After a few minutes, my friend still hadn't arrive so i got up while i saw the professor was walking towards me but his face turn away from me frozen there without moving, and nobody else was behind or in front of him except me. so I just left the building quickly to avoid embarrass. Wasn't it strange what the professor behaved? LOL. That's called the 'deer in the headlights' look. Even though you may think you're acting calm and collected around him, you're probably giving off vibes loud and clear, and he's well aware that you have a crush on him. When he saw you sitting there alone, he froze - probably because he wanted to avoid being alone with you. Maybe he even thought you were sitting there waiting for him and that's why he froze and stopped in his tracks - because he wanted no part of that. He's shown NO romantic interest in you whatsoever. I think you need to take the hint.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 OP, I don't see any sign that he was romantically interested in you. You have a crush on him so you see his behaviour how you hope he would behave. But I don't see anything more than a friendly prof doing his job. Don't embarrass yourself by trying to pursue something.
truth_seeker Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Seriously, stop dwelling. I was horny as hell in college (hahah still am now) - but no good can come of this. He CAN'T date a student, its against codes of conduct. Do you think he will throw his career away to date you? What if he has tenure? Can he still get fired?
losangelena Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 My roommate is a professor, and I am trying to imagine her ever having a relationship with one of her students, and I'm just getting the giggles. Yes, I'm sure there are profs who take advantage of their students and sleep with them, but as someone else said, that is an abuse of power, and the kind of man who will do that is not any kind you'd want to have a relationship with. OP, I think since you like him, you are reading into his behavior and interpreting certain things as signals of romantic interest, when in reality it could be that he thinks you're a bright student and wants to engage with you on that level. Crushes on professors are common. I had a bit of a crush on my thesis advisor in grad school, but he didn't accept my request because he liked me, it's because he thought I was doing good work.
sandylee1 Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Professors are not allowed to have personal or romantic relationships with students. He would loose his job if he did.
stillafool Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Honey I can promise that you aren't the only one at your school who has a crush on him. He's so used to young women having a crush on him. I can tell you Professors get more tail than rock stars.
edgygirl Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Oh just found the video for it :lmao: You can do... the Indiana Jone's student eyelid "Love you" student - Indiana Jones Wiki - Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, Last Crusade, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Young Indy, and more! - Wikia
Mrlonelyone Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 It is a violation in most schools for professors to date students.
Author HelloKitty520 Posted December 7, 2015 Author Posted December 7, 2015 Thank you for your comments and advices. Anything is possible. I noticed that he is older than he was since more wrinkles show on his neck. It's possible he doesn't like me. And I think if a girl pursues a man, the man won't treat her so well as he treats the one he pursues.( This is the reason I never pursue a boy) He already showed me not happy faces three times. Once for late for school more than 20 minutes, he stared at me with a little anger(maybe). another time for talking about another boy with a female classmate during the break outside the classroom,when i finished, I turned around,the professor was just there, so he may hear everything. The 3rd time was i dropped off something on the ground during the class. I emailed him about the exercises and he never replied me. So I think nothing will go on and semester will be over soon. I am going to pick one boy who pursues me but not so sweet:( I want the boy who loves me to be sweet, considerate since they said they loved me. I just couldn't find this kind of boy, they may be cold or tough or bad temper or not smart enough or couldn't focus on only me. I think this was why i had a crush on the professor with sweet smile and showed interested in me. Any way, life is going one:) My roommate is a professor, and I am trying to imagine her ever having a relationship with one of her students, and I'm just getting the giggles. Yes, I'm sure there are profs who take advantage of their students and sleep with them, but as someone else said, that is an abuse of power, and the kind of man who will do that is not any kind you'd want to have a relationship with. OP, I think since you like him, you are reading into his behavior and interpreting certain things as signals of romantic interest, when in reality it could be that he thinks you're a bright student and wants to engage with you on that level. Crushes on professors are common. I had a bit of a crush on my thesis advisor in grad school, but he didn't accept my request because he liked me, it's because he thought I was doing good work.
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