cocorico Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Not running isn't like having your husband stolen and kids. You're correct. Not being able to run exists within the real world, while "stealing" people exists only within the realm of delusion and fantasy.
cocorico Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 What does she have to cope with that is so damn hard? Cancer. And a delusional, obsessed ex-wife determined to wreck the lives of everyone - including her own kids - because she doesn't get what she wants. My husband has been telling people... Her husband... My husband said... Her husband... BlueDress, please join us in the real world. It's really not as frightening as you think. 3
Author BlueDress Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 I think you just don't understand this. She is not some wonderful influence on everybody and everything. People can have cancer without it being a show. Extra parking spaces and things. It's not right. Now she has the kids and family on some ridiculous diet where they don't have anything but Paleo food if she's eating with them too. She has always had weird eating habits probably because of an eating disorder but now she is forcing it on the kids. She used to make her own food and normal food for everybody else. My husband jokes about it because it's so dumb. They never go out to eat and now it's on me to take everybody out. Why can't she let kids be kids? She does this but still sends junk food into school for parties. It's all a game to her. I've told my husband the kids just want normal food. He doesn't listen. I don't know what to do.
Tread Carefully Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I forgot, how old are the kids again? How often do you have them? The only thing you can control is what you choose to feed them during your time. Why do you have to take everbody out? If you want to take the kids out then you should do that. As long as it isn't against the custody agreement. Learning healthy eating habits when we're young can lead to much better and fulfilling lives later on. 3
MidwestUSA Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Now she has the kids and family on some ridiculous diet where they don't have anything but Paleo food if she's eating with them too. She has always had weird eating habits probably because of an eating disorder but now she is forcing it on the kids. Eating disorder? You sure do make a lot of assumptions about this woman. How about the fact that GI cancer alters what diet one might tolerate? How about eating healthier and preventing disease down the road? Eliminating sugar, grains and processed foods sounds like a good idea. Protein from meat and fish? Good. Fruits, nuts and veggies? Good. No caffeine or alcohol? Good. What do you feed your kids? Twinkies and Mountain Dew? 7
ChickiePops Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 I think you just don't understand this. She is not some wonderful influence on everybody and everything. People can have cancer without it being a show. Extra parking spaces and things. It's not right. Now she has the kids and family on some ridiculous diet where they don't have anything but Paleo food if she's eating with them too. She has always had weird eating habits probably because of an eating disorder but now she is forcing it on the kids. She used to make her own food and normal food for everybody else. My husband jokes about it because it's so dumb. They never go out to eat and now it's on me to take everybody out. Why can't she let kids be kids? She does this but still sends junk food into school for parties. It's all a game to her. I've told my husband the kids just want normal food. He doesn't listen. I don't know what to do. It's perfectly right. Sick people need extra care. She's making the best of it and accepting help where she needs it. Have you looked into therapy? 5
sandylee1 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I'm sure the kids will speak up if they don't like the food she's giving them. The thing with divorce is that you can't control what the other parent does when they have the kids .... it's just the way it is. As long as nothing detrimental to their well being is happening you just have to live with it.
Rejected Rosebud Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Why don't you do an experiment and take one whole month off from harassing that poor woman and her husband?? Do something nice for yourself like go to a meditation retreat or something. It seems like you are obsessed and I'm sorry but this whole story:eek: just doesn't make any kind of sense at all!! :eek: Everybody in it needs a BREAK!
Author BlueDress Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 We have finished in court. He didn't get in any trouble for taking me off his insurance. He didn't have to pay for my new insurance if I got it. The judge got paperwork from her doctor and the insurance company saying why they had to switch with less then 60 days notice. He said it was reasonable. He said I should have expected it. How can I expect it? I didn't know. She's allowed to be with the kids alone now. The judge said he was satisfied she wasn't an addict. Her medications made sense for her condition. She didn't abuse them and that it didn't impair her. She did drug tests and passed and gave the judge a journal of her medications. What she took and when. How do I know it's not forged? We looked and she takes 30 pills and supplements a day. That's not normal. She claims she tracked them all. The judge had the complete nerve to say she doesn't use enough medication. She shouldn't have to skip pills that make her comfortable but she did and it was wonderful what she does. Now they see the kids more because she's allowed to be with them unsupervised again. She admitted to having panic attacks and depression but still she's ok to be around the kids. Makes no sense. Things for them seem normal but she hasn't gotten better. She's always around. She's working again and keeps a stupid blog about things nobody cares about. She's lost a lot of weight and looks horrible. It's awful to look at and she upsets people. She tries to travel a lot and she just got back from a vacation. My husband didn't go but the twins did. He says he couldn't get time off because he missed so much for her treatments. It doesn't add up. School is starting so I will start seeing her all over the place again. When she was gone I tried to talk to my husband. He ignored my texts. When I ran into him when he was out he told me he couldn't be around me. I think it's too painful for him. I keep telling him I'm right here but I get nothing back. He pushes me away. He keeps saying it's over but I can tell he doesn't mean it. He looks so sad. It's easier to not face me. I sent his wife a text. I explained we still loved each other and she had to let him go. I'd take care of the kids, love them. It would be ok. She never got back to me. I feel like I need to confront her again and just lay it out there. It's hard. We are so close but so far. If she wasn't sick he would have left a long time ago to come home. The twins and a sick wife just weighs him down. If he could leave and we get full custody of the kids then it would be easier. He wouldn't be so tied down. I don't know what to do. Every day he doesn't come home is another day that hurts too much.
BlueIris Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 BlueDress, your husband has divorced you and will never come back. Face reality and then decide what you want to do for your own life. There are wonderful possibilities but being frozen in denial prevents you from seeing them. 2
ChickiePops Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 You sent a dying woman a (very untrue) text saying that her husband loves you and wants to leave her? You are evil. 3
Author BlueDress Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 i sent her a text we still loved each other and we can work this out if she'd just let him go it would be ok. It's the truth. If she wasn't around this would be different. I don't think she understands.
SoulCat Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 He wouldn't come back to you if you were the last woman on the planet. Not after all the shyte you've put him through. 6
Mr. Lucky Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 It's the truth. If she wasn't around this would be different. I'd bet, more than once, they've said the same thing about you. Sad that you're choosing to waste your life this way... Mr. Lucky 2
Author BlueDress Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 She wouldn't do that. I don't need her but she needs me. Or do you mean she doesn't know her place? That could be true.
BlueIris Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 She wouldn't do that. I don't need her but she needs me. Or do you mean she doesn't know her place? That could be true. Wait... No. No one is indispensable. They do not NEED you. And really, not even our children NEED us in particular. Children need adults to care for them but no one adult is indispensable. Were psychological evaluations done in your divorce case? 2
ChickiePops Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 She wouldn't do that. I don't need her but she needs me. Or do you mean she doesn't know her place? That could be true. Her place is with her husband in their home. Because they love each other. 1
Author BlueDress Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 I am indispensable. She can't get rid of me. There are kids involved here. I was here first. That's what takes priority. The kids then me to take care of the kids then her kids and her. There wasn't because the judge said she didn't need it. We tried. He said he didn't think she was enough of a threat to need an evaluation about anything.
SoulCat Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 So, are you saying that your role as the mother to your children is superior to her role as the mother to her children? How do you figure that exactly?
Author BlueDress Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 Our kids come first and I come with them. That means that I have to come first. Her kids came after the fact and is they hadn't cheated wouldn't even be here. That means they come after my kids. Then me. Then them.
SoulCat Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Our kids come first and I come with them. That means that I have to come first. But it doesn't. Sure, the kids are a priority but you are not. You may be their mother but you are no longer the spouse. You no longer come first. You haven't come first in a long time. Her kids came after the fact and is they hadn't cheated wouldn't even be here. That means they come after my kids. Then me. Then them. His kids - all of them, not just the ones he had with you - will come first. Along with his wife. Unfortunately for you, you finish a very, very distant last. I find your sense of entitlement absolutely baffling. 4
SoulCat Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 That's not how it goes for us. Oh it is. It's exactly how it goes for you. You just refuse to see or acknowledge it. Fact is, your EX husband wants as little to do with you as possible. He does not want you, heck he can't stand even being in the same vicinity as you. Yet you are convinced he wants you back, if only it wasn't for his sick wife and their kids. You really are delusional. You need professional help. Now. 5
Jeff1690 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Bluedress, I have just read your threads. This one has been on going for almost a year. I am no expert on divorce since my wife cheated on me and I am just now going through with mine. However, I am going to say this. You should not want a spouse back that has cheated on you. He betrayed you. I was married for almost 23 years and unconditionally trusted my wife. She broke that trust. Wanted a new life and another man. You need to find peace and raise your children. Find a man who will not betray you and help raise your children. Quit obsessing over this cheater. He destroyed your marriage for another woman. Don't give him the time of day. Walk away and find true happiness. You are just driving yourself crazy and living in a fantasy. We all wish our spouses had not betrayed us. We all wanted to grow old with them. They chose otherwise. Find someone more deserving of you. If you don't do that you will wind up a bitter old woman. 1
Author BlueDress Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 I am dating somebody now. It isn't the same. I don't love him like I do my husband. My husband isn't like he was when he cheated and left. It was unlike him to do it. It was the only time he ever did it. If you don't think I should want him back that's your opinion. He is a good man and a good husband. He tries to be a good husband for her too. He does things with her we never did but it isn't the same. She keeps him busy and does these things I could never do but she couldn't either if it wasn't for her work. I can't keep up with that. It's hard to get him to see past that lifestyle to come home. He doesn't want nothing to do with me. I could text or call him right now and he's answer. I talk to him every day. I visit him at work a lot now. He needs to know im right here and I'll always be right here. There is still something there and he doesn't even hide it. It's just her stopping it all from coming back to what it was.
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