Ryan_XD Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 So, like a fool I decided to read old messages between me and my ex. I must've spent like 2 hours last night scrolling through our old messages on my old iPhone, messages on facebook and whatsapp. At first when I was reading the oldest messages when we was both loved up all those years ago, It did bring a tear to my eye and I had a good laugh to myself about some of the things we were discussing. It was nice because for that moment, I just remembered all the good stuff. As I got to the newer messages, it kind of became clear that we was going to end and it became even more clear to me that she was already disconnected from me and the relationship a good month or two before she finished it. It has kind of set me back a little bit, especially when I read all the good messages when we first started dated years ago. I was doing so well, I just hope this doesn't set me back for too long. Safe to say, I have deleted all the messages now. Just thought I should share this with you all and get it off my chest. Thanks! x
Glass Hut Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I am struggling to delete the messages. I save all messages. I never remove anyone as a contact. Should I be erasing this stuff?
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I had that moment last weekend too, OP. There were so many fun, sweet, loving, sexy texts and messages that we used to send each other. He would write messages that would make me smile and blush daily. It broke my heart reading them again but I had to do it for some reason. As hard as it was, I had to erase the messages and erase his number. I need to move on and I cannot keep thinking about someone who is no longer a part of my life or my future. Good luck, all!
NoMoreJerks Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Perfectly normal. Sometimes I read them, and it makes me cry because it reminds me of the good times. But sometimes, I read them on purpose, to remind myself that I was so loving towards him, and towards the end, he was ignoring the loving things I was telling him, etc., and cutting me off and changing the subject, etc. Shows me what a total jerk he was, and how I patiently put up with that, thinking he was having a rough day, etc. It convinces me that he was a total jerk and no one should go through that. He didn't care about hurting me, by his cold demeanor, etc. Not to mention his second breakup after *I* had forgiven him and taken him back... and the breakup was a day before my gramma died (he knew she was dying). So, while I agree that at some point you should put away these messages and forget about them (not necessarily delete them), sometimes it also helps go through them. It helps me process. Depends on what it is, though. I don't like looking at photos. I put those away. Also, cards, etc. I honestly thought that I'd never get to the point of wanting to get rid of any of my previous ex's pics with me, messages, etc. (the one before this last ex), but now? I couldn't give a rat's *ss. In fact, I don't even know if I have deleted them or not. I think I may have. When I was fresh out of that breakup, I used to treasure them and hold onto them for dear life.... This, too, shall pass! 2
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Just came across something on facebook, dont have my ex blocked but we are not friends, commenting on a male friend telling her when we were together not to go near him and seen she is going over to see him at 6 today (there not even friends) hes my friend, checked her facebook and she deleted all of our pictures of us together in the last month because i havent been on hers since then... My heart has been broken again, shes always on my mind anyway but seeing that really set me back, I wish I could just stop caring.. just another sign she has well moved on :'(. hate this feeling so much Sorry I know that had nothing to do with the original post, just got a fright and hit me really Hard. Sorry guys Edited October 30, 2015 by TheLoveBelow92 Edit
loveiswar101 Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 This achieves nothing, takes the band aid off for a few moments, fills you up with happiness, but then once reality sets in the happiness fades and the damage is done and sets you back. Erase all ! Please don't do !
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 This is why I delete exes off social media, remove all of their photos from my facebook and phone, and delete all of the messages. I know that if I didn't, I'd find it impossible at some stage to read through them, which would achieve nothing but bring me pain and set me back. Friends say I'm strong for being able to simply remove them from my life so easily, but I know it's self preservation as to not do so would be infinitely harder further down the line.
alphamale Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 So, like a fool I decided to read old messages between me and my ex. I must've spent like 2 hours last night scrolling through our old messages on my old iPhone, messages on facebook and whatsapp. tsk tsk, big mistake man
alphamale Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 I am struggling to delete the messages. I save all messages. I never remove anyone as a contact. Should I be erasing this stuff? should you be erasing? it depends, if you are the dumper then no, if you are the dumpee then yes
chapter44 Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 I deleted everything before I even had the talk to finish things. After 5 years together I just knew it was never going to be what I wanted after all the lies and drama. It's been a year and I sometimes still feel the triggers but not rehashing it all really helps. Hang in there I can tell you it does get easier.
Glass Hut Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 should you be erasing? it depends, if you are the dumper then no, if you are the dumpee then yes But if I keep the texts then I could use them against her if she decides to rewrite history or get people against me.
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 But if I keep the texts then I could use them against her if she decides to rewrite history or get people against me. Really? Your life is that small that you care about others being 'got against you'? What are you going to do, print screen them and post them on your Facebook? You should absolutely be erasing this stuff for your own mental health if you can't stop yourself looking at it.
Glass Hut Posted November 2, 2015 Posted November 2, 2015 Really? Your life is that small that you care about others being 'got against you'? What are you going to do, print screen them and post them on your Facebook? You should absolutely be erasing this stuff for your own mental health if you can't stop yourself looking at it. I honestly have never erased anything. No emails, no texts, nothing. I have a saved SMS file on my external hard drive so even texts from 2 phones ago are saved. Perhaps you are right and I should rethink this. I have NOT read her texts in a while though and have no desire to. However, they do still exist.
Seymore Posted November 3, 2015 Posted November 3, 2015 That's why I destroyed everything I possibly could that reminded me of my ex. Some called me heartless for cutting her out like that, but I have to protect myself. I know how I am and how I go through old pics and stuff and it hurts so bad, so I had to take care of that.
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