treehugger101 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 My Boyfriend, calls and tells me, he has to run out because his friend is having a baby. First thing that pops into my mind is "Is this your baby?" "Whos the friend?" "Is this the girl your cheating on me with?" He doesn't really give me much details just that she's a friend. I heard him talking to his family during our phone call, and I believe this friend is a friend of the family. But come on, if you got a call from your guy and he told you that without any further info, what would be running through your mind? I know I should be happy for his friend and this baby but honestly I am not. To me, hearing him run off and get in the car and drive off for his friends baby, it's like WTF? Have any of you ever been in a situation like this?
QueenDafine Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Wow.. I wouldn't be over thinking it that much or even thinking about that at all in that way. Maybe he's really good friends with her, maybe he's known her for a long time, she's obviously known to the family. And why in the world would you think it's his? Personally I'd be worried about her and the baby, hope the birth is a safe one.. yoi need to trust him more. And stop over thinking things. 5
StBreton Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Do you think of everything in terms of "you"? Agree with above poster. Nice that your bf is helping this woman. Get the back story later ...and be nice about your inquiry ...you're displaying bunny boiler thinking. 2
MidwestUSA Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Unless he had plans with you, and was calling to tell you he had to break them because of this baby's arrival, he really wasn't obligated to tell you this at all, was he? He could have waited until after the fact. Then you'd be annoyed by that. So, this girl he's cheating with - he has one, or that just popped into your head? 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 My Boyfriend, calls and tells me, he has to run out because his friend is having a baby. First thing that pops into my mind is "Is this your baby?" "Whos the friend?" "Is this the girl your cheating on me with?" Really? That's the 'first' thing? Wow.... He doesn't really give me much details just that she's a friend. I heard him talking to his family during our phone call, and I believe this friend is a friend of the family. So what's your problem, exactly..? But come on, if you got a call from your guy and he told you that without any further info, what would be running through your mind? "Is there anything I can do?" "Would you like me to come with you?" "Keep me posted!" "Let me know when you're on your way home... I'll fix you a bite to eat...." I know I should be happy for his friend and this baby but honestly I am not. To me, hearing him run off and get in the car and drive off for his friends baby, it's like WTF? If I'm honest, I'm thinking the same thing about YOUR attitude/reaction.... Have any of you ever been in a situation like this? Yes, kind of.... Not exactly, but fairly similar. It really didn't pose any issue, concern, problem or anything else. 2
madjac74 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I'll be honest, no dude is going to run out when someone is giving birth unless it is his child and even that is a bit of a stretch. 3
mystikmind2005 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I'll be honest, no dude is going to run out when someone is giving birth unless it is his child and even that is a bit of a stretch. dude... and this is why so many women say they cannot find a decent guy.... because a decent guy 'would' do that for a friend! 5
madjac74 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 dude... and this is why so many women say they cannot find a decent guy.... because a decent guy 'would' do that for a friend! Do what? Sit in the waiting room? If a guy decided to just let them have their family moment and celebrate with them after hearing the news, would he not be a "decent" guy?
Haydn Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Maybe there`s more we don`t know but based on the OP post, he is just being a good mate. Maybe give him a bit of support as TaraM suggested. Was it a boy or a girl? 1
Popsicle Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Some guys just love chasing after women who are f-ing other men and not them. OR, maybe it's his baby and he's hiding it from you?
MoreAmore Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 No. That's not normal thinking unless there's a lot more you didn't tell us. I'm frankly shocked that's where you went.
Art_Critic Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 First thing that pops into my mind is "Is this your baby?" "Whos the friend?" "Is this the girl your cheating on me with?" Why would you think that first.. man that is harsh... Has he cheated on you before ? does he have a habit of lying to you ? 1
Art_Critic Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Now if he was going to the hospital to sign the birth certificate.. then you would have a problem, but going to to be with a friend who is having a baby.. not so much, unless he is a proven cheater I doubt you have any issues to worry about
cif Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 No guy runs out to watch a woman give birth.. unless it's his of course. 2
Art_Critic Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 No guy runs out to watch a woman give birth.. unless it's his of course. Is that what he is doing ? I didn't catch that part... I watched my own son be born, and you are right if he was watching the baby be born it would most likely be his.. 2
mystikmind2005 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Do what? Sit in the waiting room? If a guy decided to just let them have their family moment and celebrate with them after hearing the news, would he not be a "decent" guy? Sit in the waiting room? yes, that's right! it is one of those totally pointless things you do because its the thought that counts. 2
salparadise Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Seems to me it would depend entirely on the relationship and circumstances. If she were a really close friend and had no family to be with her, then it might be understandable. But if immediate family and/or the baby's father were available, then why on earth would he believe he had standing to insert himself into such a private, family situation? If the former is not the case, then I think it is indeed odd behavior... unless he happens to be the father. I can understand OPs head scratching moment. Normal behavior would be to stop by after a few weeks with a little gift for the baby.
Haydn Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Is that what he is doing ? I didn't catch that part... I watched my own son be born, and you are right if he was watching the baby be born it would most likely be his.. I didn`t see that either, the OP just said he was running out. Probably a close friend and lending a bit of support.
kendahke Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 A long time friend of the family? Perhaps he was there with her family in the waiting room because she's a long time friend of his family and they're like that and are entitled to be like that. Without OP giving up a lot of information she's chosen to leave out, probably because it will show exactly how far afield she is, jumping to the "she's having his baby and that's the only reason why he's there" is knee jerk reflexive. 2
Author treehugger101 Posted October 30, 2015 Author Posted October 30, 2015 Him and I talked today, and he says its a family friend, and he was giving a ride to her husband or her not sure because one of them didn't have a ride and he had a car available. I think he was giving the husband a ride but not sure.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Him and I talked today, and he says its a family friend, and he was giving a ride to her husband or her not sure because one of them didn't have a ride and he had a car available. I think he was giving the husband a ride but not sure. So why the - First thing that pops into my mind is "Is this your baby?" "Whos the friend?" "Is this the girl your cheating on me with?" Are you so uncertain and insecure in your relationship, that you immediately jumped to these conclusions? 3
lana-banana Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 There's definitely a red flag here. Namely, that your immediate reaction to "gotta go, my friend is having a baby" was "is he cheating on me with her?" 2
cif Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Actually I read through some of her threads... so many in the past month alone... and OP seems an all around insecure person. If you continue like this you'll send this guy running. Work on your communication with him. 1
MidwestUSA Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Seems to me it would depend entirely on the relationship and circumstances. If she were a really close friend and had no family to be with her, then it might be understandable. But if immediate family and/or the baby's father were available, then why on earth would he believe he had standing to insert himself into such a private, family situation? If the former is not the case, then I think it is indeed odd behavior... unless he happens to be the father. I can understand OPs head scratching moment. Normal behavior would be to stop by after a few weeks with a little gift for the baby. Well we know the explanation now, but there are a few scenarios I can think of. The baby wasn't expected to live, and family/friends were gathering. The baby is one of septuplets, and everyone wants in early on the inevitable reality show. Ultrasounds showed that the baby has two heads. The parents were going to raffle off the baby, or sell to the highest bidder. Okay, I'm extreme, but not everyone considers a birth to be super private. And kudos to the guy if he JUST LIKES BABIES! Wouldn't most women admire that? I'm the one scratching my head. 1
kendahke Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Him and I talked today, and he says its a family friend, and he was giving a ride to her husband or her not sure because one of them didn't have a ride and he had a car available. I think he was giving the husband a ride but not sure. you might want to change your policy to waiting until you have all the information before assuming the worse. 1
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