todreaminblue Posted November 8, 2015 Posted November 8, 2015 I dont think its really a question that needs to be asked......but i do feel its an answer that needs to be given to an unanswered question.....when it comes time to be physical...if you wait until after marriage to have sex...then it really wont be a problem.......deb
ThaWholigan Posted November 10, 2015 Posted November 10, 2015 You don't have to lie - of course you don't have to say anything, but if it comes up (and occasionally it does) then it's better to be honest. You can of course be creative with the truth if you're able to. I'd recommend working on your defensiveness to that particular question, because that defensiveness around your sexual status could cockblock you much more than your actual virginity. I get that it's an annoying question (it really is), but reacting to it probably isn't the best course of action . Chances are, you probably won't even encounter the question anyway. If you're calm and comfortable about it, then you'll be OK whether the question comes up or not.
TheArtist Posted November 12, 2015 Posted November 12, 2015 No, tell her the truth. A lie is hardly a good foundation for a relationship is it? I was 29 when I lost mine too, and the girl didn't know. I just did the best I could and enjoyed the experience, and to be honest she still didn't know afterwards. I impressed us both! I recommend waiting until there are strong feelings between the two of you though - don't just do it to lose your virginity. Have some meaning behind it.
TexasMan68 Posted November 13, 2015 Posted November 13, 2015 Lying is never a good way to start anything off. What if she falls for you and finds out you lied from the very start? You might find yourself back where you started. Just because she is a virgin doesn't mean she is religious. There are people out there that do wait until they find a husband/wife before having sex with them.
Author E-Squared Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 I have had bad experiences of women giving me crap about my lack of experience.
WomenWubber Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 If you want to just pop 'em and drop 'em, sure lie your ass off.
shet Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Lie. Say it's been a while. If they keep pushing say it's been a long while. If they want details bull**** a number of years, 5 or 10, whatevers age appropriate for you to have gotten laid in your teens or early twenties then been on a cold streak to explain any... difficulty on your part. If they want details of why, say you didn't feel it with anyone, or you focused on yourself, or whatever. Even say you didn't enjoy your last time and never felt compelled to try again, until now. Just shift that "virgin" classification off yourself. Not for their sake, but for your own. Fake that you aren't, and you'll feel more capable of doing whats necessary to actually lose it. You put on a disguise as a regular old sex-having dude, just an out of practice one. Sex-having dudes do what it takes to get laid. Contrary to what a lot of people here might say, some women (particularly in the Tinder/app dating scene) will back away from you if you reveal yourself to be a virgin at a later age. They expect a level of experience, an ability to deliver what they want, a familiarity with the lead-in and the process, that you not having will concern them when they notice it. They won't ask at first, but unless you're very smooth (which you won't be, or you wouldn't be an older virgin) hesitations, uncertainty, awkwardness on your part will reveal it to them. Have an explanation in place.
Author E-Squared Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 Lie. Say it's been a while. If they keep pushing say it's been a long while. If they want details bull**** a number of years, 5 or 10, whatevers age appropriate for you to have gotten laid in your teens or early twenties then been on a cold streak to explain any... difficulty on your part. If they want details of why, say you didn't feel it with anyone, or you focused on yourself, or whatever. Even say you didn't enjoy your last time and never felt compelled to try again, until now. Just shift that "virgin" classification off yourself. Not for their sake, but for your own. Fake that you aren't, and you'll feel more capable of doing whats necessary to actually lose it. You put on a disguise as a regular old sex-having dude, just an out of practice one. Sex-having dudes do what it takes to get laid. Contrary to what a lot of people here might say, some women (particularly in the Tinder/app dating scene) will back away from you if you reveal yourself to be a virgin at a later age. They expect a level of experience, an ability to deliver what they want, a familiarity with the lead-in and the process, that you not having will concern them when they notice it. They won't ask at first, but unless you're very smooth (which you won't be, or you wouldn't be an older virgin) hesitations, uncertainty, awkwardness on your part will reveal it to them. Have an explanation in place. Or I could say that I have done hard time. Will that work?
Author E-Squared Posted November 24, 2015 Author Posted November 24, 2015 Will saying that I have been in prison work in some areas as to why I have not had enough experience with women? I have been reading some threads lately and I have been feeling inadequate.
shet Posted November 27, 2015 Posted November 27, 2015 Definitely don't say that. How could you even imagine that's a good idea.
Author E-Squared Posted November 30, 2015 Author Posted November 30, 2015 Definitely don't say that. How could you even imagine that's a good idea. Well, it could be a decent excuse as to why I have not had much action from women.
Inflikted Posted November 30, 2015 Posted November 30, 2015 As a guy just about to turn 27, who's also never had sex, and never even been on a date let alone in a relationship, I've always kind of pondered on this as a "What if?" type scenario, myself. Now, certainly, a partner probably wouldn't ask such invasive questions right off the bat, but after a few dates, it seems that more intimate affection starts to enter the equation, and people want to be a bit more knowledgeable about who they're getting in bed with beforehand. Me, personally, I really don't care for lying, because lying just seems like a stressful charade to go through about anything. That said, as much as people like to say things like "If she actually likes you, she won't be bothered by it" and whatnot, I question how true that really is. If you don't have a good excuse for it, I feel like most women would begin to question your value. Not to mention, if you're a more nervous, "shy" person when it comes to intimacy, that's likely going to be an issue, as well, because I imagine women want a guy who's going to "take the lead" in the bedroom, and if you're totally clueless on sex, she's more likely to get the impression that it's going to be even more awkward and unpleasant than just general jitters with a new partner, and that's probably a huge turn off, as well. In short, I don't really know what the answer is. Personally, I don't anticipate ever having to deal with this, though, as I don't anticipate ever being able to date a girl properly, let alone have sex with her. If anything, I'll have to pay someone to have sex with me, at which point, it won't matter to them either way, because it will just be a transaction for them.
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