So Confused with this Girl...Always Avoid and Deflect..Need Some Advice.

[mark1210]

Hey Gang---

 

So I need some advice. I've been dating this girl for about 3 months I met off a phone personals thing. Things were pretty flawless for the first two, but now things seem to get more messed up by the day. For instance:

 

1. She never drives to my place, she lives an hour away. Always something comes up that prevents her from driving out here (Car wreck, loaned car to brother, can't see well at night, etc). I always end up driving out there, bringing her here, and taking her home on Sunday.

 

2. She always looks at my phone and checks the recent calls/txt messages. She has my cell phone number, when I asked for hers my question was quickly deflected. She claims that only her family has the number. Upon asking her a week later, she "accidently" gives me an older number. She promised she would give it to me today, but surprise she avoids and deflects and prompty ended the conversation. I asked her if it was about trust, she never responded. I was like your logic makes no sense, you claim you trust me enough to have sex with me, but not enough to give me your cell?

 

3. This past Friday we had plans, I made reservations and everything. Around 2:30P she calls me and says she is visiting her mom for an hour but will be leaving straight from there to my place. Around 5:00P she calls saying her mom and her are having coffee and talking about her mom's problems. She will be leaving shortly. At 7:30PM I call her on the only number I have...her home number. She answers, I was like "Well Hey!, aren't you supposed to be on the road from your moms place?" She said, I was just about to head out, I forgot something. I was like, uh-huh. She got pisssed and hung up. 45 minutes pass and she calls back, she says ok I am heading out there now. I said, well its nearly 8:30 and I thought you said you can't see well enough to drive at night. She got pissed and said "F it".

 

4. Saturday evening I call her, asking her what gives and why she has been acting so odd, why she doesn't put in the effort to come see me, and why she ditched me Friday. She claims "I don't feel like I deserve you, I didn't earn this". I said, I think you were avoiding me on Friday for some other reason, I figured you wouldn't make it, y ou never drive out here. She said she was sorry, started crying, and as usual I went to pick her up and bring here back here until Sunday night. We did nothing but have sex all day and night. Now I am not complaning but I'd like more than that. She now claims she would like to move in to my house. She claims she thinks she loves me. WTF?!!?

 

5. Today, she is supposed to have called with her cell phone number, as usual she deflected my question and got pissed. The point here is that while I really don't care for the cell phone I do care that she promised me something, failed to deliver and is apparently hiding something or at the least, being secretive. She told me to call her when I cooled down about the cell phone thing. I told her, I'm not calling you until you live up to your committment. She said fine, whatever I'll call you then.

 

So what should I do if/when she calls..why is she acting like this...I feel like I am being walked all over, and possibly just used for sex. While most men wouldn't care, its not exactly what I was looking for. And if she is being dishonest now, she could possibly be jeopardizing my health as well as her own.

 

Help!

[Merin]

What? She will give you her home number but not her cell phone?

 

Well IMO yeah she is hiding something.. what that something is, I don't know...

Is this an exclusive relationship?

[Marshbear]

You are a booty call. She doesn't want you for anything except sex. If you want more than that find another girl.

[mark1210]

Merin -- Yup, just her home number. Her cell is always on, and while I could have gotten it on my own by fiddling with her phone I didn't. I also saw she had some missed calls but I didn't look...it was like a pandoras box to me.

 

Marshbear - Why would she want to move in with me then..maybe she is just saying that. She claims she just doesn't have sex with people, I am #3. She claims it was over a year that she had sex, and that was with me.

[SeaShells]

Sounds as if she had major trust issues, is very suspicious, covers her tracks . . . has honed her coping-in-relationship skills to a fine point . .. at another's expense.

 

I'd not take it any further. In just a few short months, you are seeing many red flags (at least they are to me!). Really, spare yourself. Get past the sex and move yourself along.

[mark1210]

Good advice, thank you gang. She called again here last night and tells me its because of the distance she is so stressed. I just don't think she knows what she wants. I've never been used for sex before, seems kind of odd I would be a "booty call". I thought only men did that. But after speaking with her last night, it kinda sounds like I was a rebound but thats just how I take it. Man relationships are a nightmare, so much easier being single. I'm almost to the point of just saying its not worth the trouble with her.