Strangeland Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 Hi guys! So I'm having the following issue. I started university last year and after some time noticed a guy in one of my classes. It was a huge class with almost 1,500 people but he still caught my eye. I would sometimes look in his direction during class and catch him looking in mine (which of course could have been just a general direction and not him specifically looking at me). I had a lot of stuff going on so I didn't pursue it. Months later, I passed him on my way to our final and he smiled at me. Again, I didn't do anything about it because I was in a rush and nervous about the exam. This year we’re in a class again and things are different. This time we’re only 90 students and the lecture room is relatively cozy. I sit in the front to record the lectures while he sits like 10 rows behind me (which is also kind of above me since the rows build an acclivity). Every time I turn around our eyes meet (well yeah, I occasionally turn around to look at him. Guilty.) Two weeks ago I met a friend at the lobby of one of the campus buildings after that lecture me and the other guy go to. While we were talking, Blondie (yep, that's him) went to the men’s room across from me and my friend. After he came out, instead of walking directly to the entrance/exit he took an unnecessary detour and passed us. I might again be interpreting things into what's really nothing but I found it strange. Why take a detour? Don't humans tend to take the easiest and fastest route? A day after that, I spent a couple hours at the library. I soon found out that he is usually there on that day at that time. He would then prefer one of the computers you have to stand in front of rather than sit. I on the other hand write my assignments and essays there so I prefer to sit. So I sat there and did my thing and he just came out of another room and sat down diagonally from me. Again the stupid glance exchanging game until he left. I honestly thought that he might be really shy or something since in the course of a year I have never seen him talk to anyone. A guy like him should be swarmed by girls. Anyways, when I’ve talked to him last week for the first time he seemed very composed and cool (not unfriendly or anything, just confident). We were at the library again and as I passed him and I thought “Oh, what the hell” and stopped at his desk. I just asked him smiling if we were in a class together last year because he seemed familiar. He returned the smile and asked me what course I was thinking of. He then inquired about my major and my academic plans for the future (turns out we have the same major and similar goals). He looked at me all this time and averted his glance only once, namely when he said he couldn't remember me. I asked him for his name and introduced myself shaking his hand. We talked about university stuff, the course, and crap like that. After 10 minutes I said I'll let him continue with his work or whatever he was doing and he said “OK, I'll see you in class.” Naive little me thought I closed the deal. I just had expressed my interest not too explicitly but not that obscure either. Yesterday, we had a test. I spend the hour before the test sitting in the hallway across the door to our lecture room, studying. He usually goes directly inside when he arrives as he’s always there before I am. This time, he sat on the floor too next to some other guy. I couldn't directly see him since he was sitting on the same side of the hallway as me and a large garbage can was standing between us. After like 15 minutes he got up and entered the room. I didn’t look up from my notes but I heard him. My questions are now: Have I misread his body language that poorly? Do you think his behaviour indicates he’s not into me? Have I been not clear enough when I talked to him? Should I let it go? Thank you all for your answers, Strangeland
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Your post was hard to read because of how it was paginated. There were a lot of details but most came across as you over-reading everything this man has ever done. It seems like you are asking he breathes the same air as me. Does that mean he likes me because if he didn't like me wouldn't he hold his breath & not breathe the same air? Anyway, stop the guess. Talk to him. Ask to see his notes from class. Suggest there is something you didn't quite understand. Yeah, I know you tape the lecture but hearing the professor say the same words doesn't clarify the concept. His reaction to your request for notes should give you a better understanding of how he feels about you / whether there is genuine interest.
Author Strangeland Posted October 30, 2015 Author Posted October 30, 2015 Your post was hard to read because of how it was paginated. There were a lot of details but most came across as you over-reading everything this man has ever done. It seems like you are asking he breathes the same air as me. Does that mean he likes me because if he didn't like me wouldn't he hold his breath & not breathe the same air? You're the forum sunshine, aren't you?
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 You're the forum sunshine, aren't you? Insulting somebody who is trying to help you doesn't achieve your objective, now does it? In addition to telling you that you are over reading the situation I gave you concrete easy to follow advice about how to advance your interactions with this guy forward in a meaningful way but your only response was to be snide to me. Lovely. 1
Speika Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 It's really hard to tell. You like him so you're going to see things and convince yourself it's him liking you back. That's not to say you're not right. I definitely don't think you should give up on him in any way. He hasn't done anything to indicate he doesn't like you. Now that you've made an introduction why don't you build on it. Talking to him next time won't be hard. If he likes you he'll ask you out. If he's shy heaven forbids you could always ask him out.
katiegrl Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) If he is as good looking as you suggest, he probably has many college girls fawning over him, or at the very least, doing what you did, approaching, introducing yourself, shaking hands, making small talk.. Even if you haven't noticed it.... Par for the course for him. Or perhaps he has a girlfriend? Long distance...back at home? The fact all your efforts to *close the deal* resulted in him sitting next to the other guy, not acknowledging you and essentially ignoring you, I would say that to him, you are just another chick who has a crush on him. The girl he falls for will be the chick ignoring HIM, the girl HE approaches and attempts to close the deal with! Once he hits late 20s and 30s, that will change, but right now he is the hot college guy, knows it, and uses it... to build his ego, whatever. IMO, you would have had a better chance had you continued with the subtle flirting (occasional looks back and forth, etc) but kept him guessing somewhat and waited for him to approach you... Like I said, once he matures, he will appreciate your efforts, but right now, at what 18, 19 years old, he' a hot college guy, and will want the girl who does not make it so easy for him. Either that or he is in another relationship. JMO. Edited October 30, 2015 by katiegrl
they Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) IMO, you would have had a better chance had you continued with the subtle flirting (occasional looks back and forth, etc) but kept him guessing somewhat and waited for him to approach you... She said he didn't know who she was after a whole year .. if she didn't introduce herself it would have stayed that way. For that reason. I disagree with your post and believe your advice of playing hard to get is unwise to follow. However, in my opinion, this guy seems to have little interest in her from what is detailed. and theres no magic trick to change that. but i could be wrong. Edited October 30, 2015 by they Grammar
kismetkismet Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I think you're reading into things too much. Glances and that sort of thing happen all the time, and since you said he didn't remember you he may not have actually been looking in your direction? You have introduced yourself to him now (good on you, that's brave) so I'd leave the ball in his court now. If he is interested he will try to befriend you or make excuses to talk to you. But don't hang your heart on this one, you really don't have much to go on here. 1
katiegrl Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 However, in my opinion, this guy seems to have little interest in her from what is detailed. and theres no magic trick to change that. On this ^^ we agree.... 1
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