Louise2817 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I met a really cool guy through mutual friends about 6 weeks ago. We seemed to hit it off and we've met 3 times since. The past two times we were alone together. He took me out and I stayed at his flat. The last time we did sleep together.He lives an hour away and neither of us drI've, he also has a very busy job and his days off don't really coincide with mine. However I thought well if we really do get on so well I guess we could make it work. The last time I saw him was two weeks ago, no future plans were made because he was working away the following week. But we parted well and since then he has continued to message me. He sends me random pics of stuff he knows I like etc and tells me how his life is going he's quite conversational and he does imitate, I do too. I was worried that I slept with him too soon, that was the last time we met. He got back from working away today, and has been messaging, sending pics, then he said what he was doing during the day, Saturday, and what we're my weekend plans? I said I was free I haven't made any plans and what was he doing? When he replied he didn't really answer my question but went on about something else...I thought he might have wanted to see me but he hasn't said anything yet. Do you think he is still interested in me? I definitely don't think he is a player he's a lovely guy and we have loads in common, I really like him. Sorry this is so long. I'm just quite insecure and have low confidence in myself stemming from past relationships. What should I do, anything?
PegNosePete Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 why don't you ask him out? I'm presuming he has been the one to do the asking for the 3 times so far. Maybe he is waiting to see if you'll take your turn. Either way you will soon have the answer to your question, whether it's a yes or no.
Odinani Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 What made you decide to have sex with him so soon?
hippychick3 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 If he were interested, he would have already made plans with you. Make your own plans with friends or yourself and don't call or text him. In the future, wait until you're in an exclusive relationship before having sex. Sex bonds us to a man, but it doesn't bond a man to us. Don't allow yourself to become bonded to someone who isnt yet in a relationship with you. 2
Jejangles Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 If he were interested, he would have already made plans with you. Make your own plans with friends or yourself and don't call or text him. In the future, wait until you're in an exclusive relationship before having sex. Sex bonds us to a man, but it doesn't bond a man to us. Don't allow yourself to become bonded to someone who isnt yet in a relationship with you. Agreed, I think this guy is lukewarm at best. He had an opening to ask you out when you said your entire week-end was free and instead he changed the subject. He may still ask you to do something, but I would really consider whether his level of effort is acceptable to you. And as a fellow anxious person, I would also recommend not sleeping with guys too soon in future. It just heightens the anxiety and makes it really hard to step back and survey whether someone is acting the way you would want them to in dating.
Redhead14 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I met a really cool guy through mutual friends about 6 weeks ago. We seemed to hit it off and we've met 3 times since. The past two times we were alone together. He took me out and I stayed at his flat. The last time we did sleep together.He lives an hour away and neither of us drI've, he also has a very busy job and his days off don't really coincide with mine. However I thought well if we really do get on so well I guess we could make it work. The last time I saw him was two weeks ago, no future plans were made because he was working away the following week. But we parted well and since then he has continued to message me. He sends me random pics of stuff he knows I like etc and tells me how his life is going he's quite conversational and he does imitate, I do too. I was worried that I slept with him too soon, that was the last time we met. He got back from working away today, and has been messaging, sending pics, then he said what he was doing during the day, Saturday, and what we're my weekend plans? I said I was free I haven't made any plans and what was he doing? When he replied he didn't really answer my question but went on about something else...I thought he might have wanted to see me but he hasn't said anything yet. Do you think he is still interested in me? I definitely don't think he is a player he's a lovely guy and we have loads in common, I really like him. Sorry this is so long. I'm just quite insecure and have low confidence in myself stemming from past relationships. What should I do, anything? Three times in 6 weeks is kinda low interest in terms of seeing you. Usually once a week if things are going well would be the norm. I think you should wait this out. Let him show you what his interest level really is. If he doesn't ask to see you soon, I'd just let it go. Did you two ever have a conversation about what each of your datings goals were in general? And, I'm guessing there was no talk of exclusivity at least before or after being intimate. If you want to give a little slack because of work schedule, etc., let this guy do some more work if he's really interested.
Author Louise2817 Posted October 29, 2015 Author Posted October 29, 2015 Yeah you're right. I will just leave the ball in his court. I'm pretty sure he must know I like him. I'd never ask a guy out, but I thought I left it open to him by saying I was free this weekend. He seems to like talking to me when we are messaging, like seems enthusiastic in the conversation. I didn't plan on sleeping with him. I wish I hadn't now. I dont make a habit of doing that. But I guess I really liked him and we'd both had a few drinks. I got the impression it was out of character for him also but I dont know. I'm just gonna leave it, if he asks to see me that's good. I won't push it though. I just hope I didn't put him off me by sleeping with him so soon. I guess if he really liked me it wouldn't matter.
Redhead14 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 (edited) Yeah you're right. I will just leave the ball in his court. I'm pretty sure he must know I like him. I'd never ask a guy out, but I thought I left it open to him by saying I was free this weekend. He seems to like talking to me when we are messaging, like seems enthusiastic in the conversation. I didn't plan on sleeping with him. I wish I hadn't now. I dont make a habit of doing that. But I guess I really liked him and we'd both had a few drinks. I got the impression it was out of character for him also but I dont know. I'm just gonna leave it, if he asks to see me that's good. I won't push it though. I just hope I didn't put him off me by sleeping with him so soon. I guess if he really liked me it wouldn't matter. Yeah, if he liked you enough it wouldn't matter. And, if he's put off by that, he's into double-standards and so, you guys just aren't on the same page about that kind of thing already I got the impression it was out of character for him also but I dont know -- He doesn't know whether it was out of character for you either. If those three dates had been more timely, let's say, I'd tell you it's ok to initiate something with him. A woman can and should initiate some after a few dates in order to make it so he doesn't feel like he's doing all the work. But this guy hasn't done much anyway. And, if he does ask you out again and you are still interested, go ahead and go out with him, but don't sleep with him again for a while. Kinda hit the reset button. Keep the dates public again until he gets clear about his intentions with you. In other words, until you two have a conversation about what you each are looking for in general as I said above and he starts demonstrating it properly to you that that's what he wants with you. Edited October 29, 2015 by Redhead14
Author Louise2817 Posted October 29, 2015 Author Posted October 29, 2015 Yeah I know, you are right. If we do meet again, I will definitely put the brakes on. He does have a busy schedule with work, but if he wants to see me he will. I'm also busy but for someone I like I will make time. I hope he does but I will have to deal with it if not.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 3 times in 6 weeks isn't all that much, really. I think he likes you well enough but isn't super-interested. See whether or not he asks you out. Weekend nights are prime date-nights and he didn't take the opportunity. I wouldn't get my hopes up too much unless and until he actually makes plans to see you again.
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