KO123 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I was talking to my friend about my break up and so on. She made an interesting comment, that by not contacting him at all, at least for a while, you gain some sort of power back from him. It kind of resonated with me because I recall feeling very good for ignoring the one text message my ex sent me after the break up. That feeling obviously went away and I'm back to feeling like crap for ignoring the text, but I felt good for a couple of days for ignoring it, stronger. What do you think of the statement?
Liono84 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 To a certain extent, yes. However, it's not as black as white as you may make it out to be..... If you apply NC, stop dwelling on the past, accept the reality of the situation that it's over along with improving yourself in as many ways possible (school, career, hobbies, social etc), than yes, you will see that the roles have reversed. However, if you apply NC, yet continuously dwell/live in the past, and remain hopeful that your ex will contact you, then no, just because you have applied NC does not mean the roles have reversed in any way because she/he still has power over you. You can fake it as much as you want, but you cannot hide the truth when it comes to love. If the moment comes and your ex contacts you, he/she will see right thru you very soon. You truly need to be indifferent and stable. While you may pull that off of a conversation or outing here or there, eventually your true colors will show. That being said, accept that fact that it's over and reconcilations are rare. 1
mightycpa Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 In my experience, no. Maybe when you're younger, it might happen, but probably not. Then, the older you get, the more likely that the dumper is serious about the breakup. A better way to say it is that over time, you equalize the relationship. The dumper moves on first, then in time, you catch up because you realize that the dumper never had any power over you, it was all in your mind and in your heart. 1
Meli22 Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 It totally depends on why the person left you in the first place. I can see this happening in cases where, the dumpee was a good partner, but the dumper maybe got bored or left for someone else who turned out to be a bad fit. If the person who dumped because the dumpee wasn't meeting their needs then maybe not. I don't know. It all totally depends on break up reasons and the dumpers personality. As mightycpa said some genuinely mean it, whereas others aren't dead set when they do it.
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