TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) I don't want want to be one of these people that hound websites for months and months asking the same questions and getting the same advise and not listening but I feel like I am. My story is simple, My first ever real Gf (first love) was at the age of 22 last summer (didn't kiss a girl for years before that), fell to hard and too quick ended up moving into my parents before xmas last year, got our own place in February, She broke up with me in early July a few days before my bday... she said I called her fat, that she was wide (all within the last month of the relationship, she just wasn't happy and I know that) and a few days after she broke up with me I kissed someone she happened hate on my bday (my self confidence was gone) and I had to tell her,(Final nail in the coffin) read through some of my other threads for more info. I made every mistake in the book since, chased her for 3 months trying talk about us and this and that, until the start of this month she told me "To let go and move on" messaged her on last time about talking about the break up... seen all the messages never replied for the first time, have been in no contact since just about 4 weeks ago. I feel crazy at times, she is on my mind 24/7 since the break up and feel no matter where I go she might be there, I dont know how to let go to be honest, and realizing this much time has past I get really frightened and insecure, feel like Ive lost everything and worthless, then i reassure myself for 5 mins every couple of hours to say im fine. I just want to stop feeling things and actually let go and smile and not miss her or just not be on my mind anymore. Ive hear all the advise one can get time and time again and there is not a webpage online that I have honestly not read. this is what ive done so far: 1.Deleted all pictures from my computer, 2.she deleted me from Facebook so i only see comments from mutual friends very rarely or if she liked something. 3.Deleted her family from facebook and snapchat. 4.Stopped trying to bump into her at a place she works in town. 5.try to keep busy but im on the internet reading all these posts for hours everyday. 6.I go to town for coffee most days but afraid I bump into from work. 7. started playing soccer 3 times a week and gym now and again. 8. deleted tinder and pof because Ex Gf keeps popping up on them. 9.slept with a few girls but had to stop because I felt **** about the BU. 10. Its hard to meet new people and new woman and keep feeling every time I take a step I knock myself back down etc. My ex is putting me of dating again (im putting myself of dating again or comprehending it) because she is always on my mind and feel like I cant until she isnt. I feel like im doing all the right things but dont feel like im making progress? I dont want to feel like this anymore, my life has changed in every aspect since the break up for better or for worse and I understand that, as I have no choice in the matter and it is what it is. I feel like im holding onto the past because its my sad happy place, happy as in they where the happiest times ive had in my life to date, and sad because of where I am now. I need to switch those roles around. The funny thing is I know all the answers that will be replied but I cant accept them subconsciously because in a messed up way something inside me doesn't want to. I cant explain it because honestly I dont know myself has anyone felt similar, please tell me I haven't been the only one:bunny: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/443562-people-who-begged-pleaded I feel like this could be the same way im going :/ Edited October 28, 2015 by TheLoveBelow92 editing
wonderbug111 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Omg... I feel so bad for you. It's an awful place to be. I'm surprised after 4 weeks you're not feeling any better? It seems like you've done everything to cut off all contact but I think you're still seeking her out. Like on fb. Stop looking up her likes. Get off fb for awhile if you have to. Deactivate your account. You need something to get your mind off her. Computers are not a good place imo. Spend time with other people, friends family etc. That always helps me see that life goes on and something better is coming down the pike for you. Hang in there! 3
Author TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 29, 2015 Author Posted October 29, 2015 Omg... I feel so bad for you. It's an awful place to be. I'm surprised after 4 weeks you're not feeling any better? It seems like you've done everything to cut off all contact but I think you're still seeking her out. Like on fb. Stop looking up her likes. Get off fb for awhile if you have to. Deactivate your account. You need something to get your mind off her. Computers are not a good place imo. Spend time with other people, friends family etc. That always helps me see that life goes on and something better is coming down the pike for you. Hang in there! Thanks Braveheart, things are getting easier. im just more upset and pissed of that I tried so hard since the BU, was completely broken hearted for 3 months, thinking she actually still cared. Its now im more upset with myself for putting her first and thinking she still cared. If she did she would of contacted me or given me a clue. love is blind and I am stupid for caring as much as I did for someone i thought cared as much. live and learn and I wont trust anyone as much again for sure, and I certainly put of woman and trust for a while after this Argghhh....
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