ktazy Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 The story begins when we met when he was a assistant teacher for one of my classes. Ever since we met we have had really strong feelings towards one another, but we colt d not date until I graduated because the teacher he was an assistant for was his mom, and it would deem to be inappropriate. and she would have gone bat**** crazy. A month before I graduated we had already started to date. The following 4 months carried the happiest four months of my life so far. But by the beginning of fall had already decided before our relationship to take a year abroad to Brazil. After 5 months into our relationship being long distance, we had broken up. He was going through too much stress at school, and I was having major issues with the program I was traveling with. It felt like we both lived two different worlds, but all we wanted was each other. After coming home a couple months after we broke up and re entering into "home". He started to contact me. My first week back at home I went to a baseball game and my family had said they had seen him, my heart dropped, and it felt so weird being in the same area as him after months of us being miles apart. I didn't see him at then game. As we continued to talk I was still hurt by our relationship. It was something so real to me. As we continued to talk it felt like we wanted to get back together, but we also thought it wasn't the best. I want him to focus on school and be happy, without me stressing him out, etc. Knowing his background so well, i want him to be the best he can and get the education he deserves. But back to our relationship, As i brought up the future to him one night. " What do you want in our future?" He said " I don't want to promise you of me saying yes to us being together or saying no and closing the doors on this". But this has left me with what then? there is no lead to it. Since then we have become friends, but sometimes i overreact on situations and stop talking to him for a couple months, and we become better again. We want each other in our lives. It just hurts so much, because it was something real, and i just don't know what to do from here. My current job I work with a lot of men and is a personal stylist for men. Im surrounded by them, but i don't see to be attracted to them, wanting to connect if i can put it that way. My ex, is always popping up in my mind on the daily. Please help as to what my next steps should be, i feel like I'm just stuck in a rut.
Jimbo123 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Hello miss. Nice post. I understand where you're coming from. If I'm hearing you right you are hanging on to "hope." Strong feelings shouldn't be ignored and I believe you should be as pro active as you feel you need to be. That could be a double edge sword because in this world if you openly label yourself available to him, he may take advantage of that. I don't know him obviously, and possibly he's not that type to abuse a situation however I am presently going through that. I openly said to my ex that we will focus on ourselves for our individual betterment and maybe work it out one day. Then not too long ago she got drunk, called me, and told me she'd let ME know when we could maybe start over again. My point is as open as you may be or I may be at being proactive, optimistic, and hanging on to hope some people take advantage hence placing themselves in the driver seat if you will. In the end it takes two. Some of us are willing to fight to get what we what more than others while others give up and move on ignoring their heart.
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