vc87 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Me and my boyfriend have been together for seven months now.. All along things have been great between us.. No serious problems and we always have fun and laugh and have had a lot of great times together.. I've never felt like this about anybody before in my entire life.. Really feel so close to him and he's my best friend.. Feel so connected to him.. My boyfriend tells me all the time that I'm the love of his life and he wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me.. Lately things just seem different for me when I talk to him or see him.. I think from spending so much time with him, it just hits me (which is currently happening) where as much as I love him, I really can't stand him and kinda feel like I need a break.. I feel really bad admitting that.. But its true. He could text me lovey-dovey things and I don't want to hear it and want to roll my eyes.. I see him a lot, pretty much everyday, and the thought of going by his house to se him just makes me feel blah.. Like I feel like it something expected that I have to do with my day and I'm not really excited about it anymore.. Kind of like I lost interest and got bored.. I was single and I wasn't in a serious relationship for quite a while before we started dating so I was used to doing my own thing and having time for myself a lot more.. Maybe that has something to do with it too.. When I was single and I would have killed for something like this but now that I have it, so I feel bad i'm kind of taking it for granted and not appreciating it as much I should.. Has anyone else ever had similar feelings before when they were in the relationship? I don't want to break up with my boyfriend but I don't really know what to do either.. 1
Ic1 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Honestly, how old are you? Sounds like you're fairly young, and haven't lived the young life as much as you want. This isn't a bad or unnatural thing, and I think it could be better for you to break up. Just be honest with him and your reasons for why. You want to explore more.
Author vc87 Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 Honestly, how old are you? Sounds like you're fairly young, and haven't lived the young life as much as you want. This isn't a bad or unnatural thing, and I think it could be better for you to break up. Just be honest with him and your reasons for why. You want to explore more. I'm 28.. Honestly haven't been in all that many serious relationships but dated a lot
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Breaks are precursors to breaking up. I don't think that is what is you want. I think -- at least what I'm reading between the lines -- is that you need more time to yourself and that part of you feels like you are getting swallowed up in the relationship. Do stake out a place for yourself but do that without ending the relationship
Httm Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Do you guys have your own friends, hobbies, and lives? It is unhealthy to only be about one person all the time. In my book, there is no such thing as a break.
scooby-philly Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 I think the other posters have said it best. A "break" is really about not feeling "it". If you just need more personal time/space - just ask. He may want the same thing - or at least not have a problem with what you want. But he won't know what you're feeling if you don't tell him. Otherwise you put him in a situation where he can't respond appropriately.
Mrin Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Ok so I am going to take the 345 words you provided and instantly diagnose your life. Ha! Or I'll just offer up a possible explanation for you to try on and see if it fits: Here goes. The issue here is with you. Not your BF. And it really isn't that anything is wrong with you per se. But rather your current dissatisfaction comes from you and how your BF is occurring to you. It is like you said - these lovey dovey things he does used to occur to you as sweet and special and ooey gooey romantic. Now they're just annoying. So, your BF is occurring differently to you. That happens. You're being really honest with yourself and us about how he's occurring differently. I'm not entirely sure you're being honest with yourself about why he's occurring differently. I think you should spend some time with that and see what comes up. Believe me, that part of the onion is harder to peel. But I imagine you'll get there. Also, before you beat yourself up too much about this, there is an old saying that people are in our lives for a season, a reason or a lifetime. It could be that he's one of the first two. Nothing wrong with that - at all! 2
kpl Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 I agree with MRIN but I also think you might just be passing that honeymoon phase and your relationship will start to look different from here on. He may still be in the honeymoon phase which is causing discord. Have you spent time away from him recently? I would take a week - don't call it a break and just let him know you are really busy and maybe you guys can hang out next week. See how you feel during that time and see if that "feeling" comes back. After a while most relationships start to feel kind of common and not as exciting. My first serious relationship this sort of happened with me. We were lovey dovey for the first few months then after a a while I felt kind of obligated to see him and the sex felt routine. I didn't know what happened. I ended up getting into an argument with my bf at the time and we decided to take a week to just do our thing. That week was the longest ever! I really missed him and it just made me realize that our relationship wasn't sustainable in that I have to have you phase. We had other things to do and couldn't be attached to the hip any longer. We also started to do more fun activities that we didn't use to do and um more....cough cough...exciting things in the bedroom. So our relationship changed to this cool person I trust that wants to try all these things with me.
Author vc87 Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 Me and my boyfriend haven't had all that much time apart since our whole relationship started.. We basically have seen each other everyday for two months straight now.. attached at the hip basically.. Before that we had another long streak going.. In almost a month since we've been hanging out/dating.. If I went two weeks worth of days spread out over that time total without seeing him that would be a lot.. We do have hobbies and other friends and lives obviously, but lately even if I do make other plans with other friends without him (which isn't really all that often) I still usually stop by his house to visit him for a few minutes just to say hi and all that because he lives very close to me MY BF always says that he wants to see me all the time.. And that he doesn't like going without because he misses me.. He could also be a little clingy too and very insecure.. I think part of my problem is I haven't really had a chance to miss him yet.. can't miss what's always there.. Kind of why I feel like I'm taking for granted.. Like i'm losing my appreciation for it if that makes sense.. Any other person would be so over the moon happy to be with someone who is so in love with them and gushes and all that constantly about how great you are but I feel bad that I'm to the point that I've had enough and want to roll me eyes when nice things are said
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 The daily contact is overwhelming you. It was too much too fast. Back off that a little. At least take one day per week for yourself. Just don't call it a break.
Httm Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 The part about him not liking you going out and having your own life is textbook unhealthy relationship. Insanely unhealthy. Also, I'd argue that stopping by everyday isn't independent.
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