3 months of nc from my side, think of ex 24/7. How can I stop this?

[walkingonair]

It's literally killing me I think of him 24/7 and can't sleep. Its been 3 months, how can I stop thinking about him and over thinking the whole relationship and everything that happened ?

[sparkles_and_me]

Are you doing things to distract you from thinking about him? Do you go out with friends and family? Do you have someone you can talk to about this?

[Zapbasket]

Unfortunately, it's pretty much par for the course in dealing with a break-up. Three months is not a long time. For me, the loss sits heavy in my heart and pulls me down, becoming a "thing" that I have to sift through in an effort to lighten the heaviness. Thoughts of him are like thick chains binding my feet together and pulling me underwater no matter how hard I kick and push my arms to hold me up.

 

It's okay to think about him. That's what you must tell yourself. When he wafts through your mind, take a deep breath and say to yourself that it's okay. It doesn't do any good to fight it. Just let yourself be where you are and let the thoughts and feelings come. Pay attention to them. It's just grief, and it's necessary for healing.

 

At the same time, each day try to do one thing that is solely about TODAY. If you like to paint, run, write, kickbox, read, meet new people--whatever you do when you feel carefree and fully IN yourself--do those things. It will feel hard for a while, even doing the things you usually love to do, but gradually your natural enjoyment of these things will soothe the discombobulation caused by your pain and you'll find yourself having fleeting moments of just enjoying what you're doing; you'll feel like YOU again.

 

When you find your thoughts spinning and circling obsessively around things you can't change, gently ask yourself what you can learn from this experience. That directs your thoughts and feelings to your personal empowerment, and form the grist out of which you make plans for your future.

 

In general, just try to be kind to yourself. Whatever you are doing to cope right now, it's where you are, and therefore exactly where you need to be. Trust the process, however painful. You'll find yourself slowly moving forward--slowly.

 

I promise it will get better. You need to believe that, too.

[mtnbiker3000]

Many people say it, and... it's true. TIME we'll work magic. Just takes, well... time.

 

But yes, you can help yourself and there have been a million suggestions on this site. Search and you will discover.

[drseuss]

I'm only 3 months out but it feels longer !! Instill think of her alot and it really hurts especially at night but look back to the early days and weeks and I bet you've come far since then ,

[TheLoveBelow92]

I'm only 3 months out but it feels longer !! Instill think of her alot and it really hurts especially at night but look back to the early days and weeks and I bet you've come far since then ,

 

im hitting the 4 month mark myself it gets easier but it doesnt mean i dont think about her, she is always on my mind 24/7 and i accept that but i dont act on impulse or feelings anymore because they are just memories of what once was, and I learned after 3 months of trying that she never really gave a **** about me or not as much as I did her, learn, become a better person and move on, everyday you are weather you think so or not

[Bo34]

It can take as long as you want it to take. Everyone is one the same page in the very beginning. We all go thru stages of grief, anger, denial, and depression. However, after the initial shock wears off, getting over someone varies from person to person and has more to deal with YOU than anything else.