Jejangles Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 Unless someone directly tells you, there is no way to know why they don't want to continue dating you. I highly doubt your intention to possibly pursue further education in the future had any impact on their opinion of you either way. As a woman, I don't really care what education a man has. I care more about how he portrays himself, whether he is naturally curious and whether he can discuss issues with intelligence. I also value emotional intelligence and social skills - some of the most intelligent people with PHDs are lacking in basic social knowledge and are hard to communicate with. While I can appreciate the hard work they have put in to obtain a PHD, it does not sway me either way on whether I would like to date them.
MissBee Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 (edited) I remember going out on a few dates, on OLD. The guy would ask me what I did for a living, told them it was just a job that pays the bills and want to go back to school. I told them that I was interested in a getting a psychology degree to possibly become a psychiatrist. I figured they would be impressed, apparently, nothing went beyond the first date, probably because they weren't attracted/into me, and what did they do??? They went back on OLD, updated their profile pic and profile. Geez....I could have told them that I had a Harvard degree and they still wouldn't be blown away. Looks like they prefer women that work the pole at the strip clubs-the women that all men want: big tits and nice ass, right? See, when this happens, I prefer to just sit back and look pretty, don't care about carrying on a conversation, because in the end its all about looks... There are guys who post similar threads. Nothing you've said points to the specific reason why you didn't get a second date. As you rightly said, maybe they weren't attracted or into you. This doesn't mean they don't care about education. Maybe they do care about education so got turned off because you have a job to pay the bills and not a career? Remember, you're talking here about a degree you MIGHT get, not the education you currently have. So to be fair, it's possible some of them may see you as someone who is still unsure of what she wants and doesn't really know yet what her life goals are, and that may be the turn off. However, in truth, nothing you said shows that they got turned off because you want to go back to school, so I'm not really sure how you've come to that conclusion. Education for me in dating is usually a given. That said, I cannot date a man's education or degree only, so by itself it alone doesn't qualify him for a second date or mean that we will click. That's part of dating...lots of misses and hopefully some hits. I think you need to think more broadly instead of so narrowly as to assume that men will fall all over you because you want to be a psychiatrist. Maybe for some this career is a turn off specifically, which is fine, good riddance to them. Do these men say anything specific about not caring about education? Otherwise, maybe for some of them they want a woman who is already in her career, or most likely, there are LOTS of other reasons they didn't want a second date. But you cannot simply assume it's this one specific thing when there is NO EVIDENCE (based on your initial post anyway) that this is true. Focusing on something that isn't even true will make you miss the point and keep doing the same things to no avail. You can't rest dating and attraction only on one factor like education or any other. What else do you have going for you and how do the dates go? How someone feels with you and your actual personal interactions play a much bigger role in the end. It's not like they're just hiring you for a job so will choose you based on your degree...in fact, even jobs don't do that, for most jobs the degree is simply a non-negotiable factor and not a "stand out quality" and education for many might be the same. In short though, tons of men care about education, some don't, and even among those who do, it might give a woman an edge but if he isn't attracted to you otherwise it won't seal the deal. Edited October 29, 2015 by MissBee
MissBee Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 Well, I hope you didn't actually say you wanted to get a psychology degree to become a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor. You would have to go to medical school (no psychology degree for that) to become a psychiatrist. Btw, I am a psychologist and my education was a huge plus for me when I was dating. Most of the quality men I dated preferred intelligent and educated women. Good point. Maybe that could have played a role as well, where the guy was like,this woman doesn't even know what she's talking about so these can't be real plans. I also find the questions about what men prefer or not to be unanswerable in that different men prefer different things. For me as well, most of the men I've dated are men who value educated women. Most men I've dated were professionals who wanted to date another professional or were highly motivated and ambitious in terms of career and really liked that in a woman. For them the whole "power couple" idea was appealing so they specifically gravitated towards women who they admired in that sense. But of course, some men, as expressed in this thread, don't really care about that. So it truly depends on who you are, the men you prefer and what the men you prefer value. 2
BlueIris Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 ... I have 4 degrees I got in 4 years. ... That being said...I think my college degrees are still worthless. ... How is that possible? It's interesting, though. It took me four solid years to get only one bachelors degree! I agree with you that many people consider degrees, some degrees, all degrees, or even any form of higher education at all, as worthless or pointless. I even agree that some degrees might not be particularly challenging or rigorous. However, there are also institutions, programs and degrees that are rigorous and plenty of people see great value in them. Someone who thinks that Medieval Studies is stupid or pointless is not going to get me! I think it's fascinating. I think darn near everything can be fascinating and worth studying and "worth" is not related to income or recognition, for me at least. Date people who respect your accomplishments and values, whatever they might be. 2
Krieger Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 Well, I hope you didn't actually say you wanted to get a psychology degree to become a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor. You would have to go to medical school (no psychology degree for that) to become a psychiatrist. Btw, I am a psychologist and my education was a huge plus for me when I was dating. Most of the quality men I dated preferred intelligent and educated women. Good for you . Men and woman should not date people with less than they have. I willing to bet you would not date a guy with a GED. I love how people say college does matter but alot of businesses get started in college . also you meet people that later in life can help you . Next the way the world is going if dont have a college dgree good luck getting a good job.
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 A guy really might care about a woman's education but that doesn't mean that he is going to date you just BECAUSE you have an education or want one. He also has to be attracted and interested in you!!! 1
empresario Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 How is that possible? It's interesting, though. It took me four solid years to get only one bachelors degree! I agree with you that many people consider degrees, some degrees, all degrees, or even any form of higher education at all, as worthless or pointless. I even agree that some degrees might not be particularly challenging or rigorous. However, there are also institutions, programs and degrees that are rigorous and plenty of people see great value in them. Someone who thinks that Medieval Studies is stupid or pointless is not going to get me! I think it's fascinating. I think darn near everything can be fascinating and worth studying and "worth" is not related to income or recognition, for me at least. Date people who respect your accomplishments and values, whatever they might be. Yes, school is definitely for expanding your mind more than learning a trade right now, I agree there. And as far as how I got 4 degrees in 4 years...it's actually pretty simple. I did it without summer classes as well. You have to double/triple hit degrees as much as possible. For example, did you know some computer science classes can hit a math, computer science, and English audits? They can. I did a ton of research to see where I could substitute classes. On top of that I applied internship credits towards all my degrees. One a semester. Other than that, I tested out of every lower level class for math and computer science, meaning I had to reach a certain level of (total) credit hours to get the degree. Completing the number of classes for the audit wasn't an issue. Other degrees like my social sciences one just had a related coursework credit hour requirement (18). So taking one night class a semester was enough to get that. College has rules. Most rules can be bent. Especially if you spend enough time nagging your advisor until they give you what you want so you go away. 1
Wewon Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I remember going out on a few dates, on OLD. The guy would ask me what I did for a living, told them it was just a job that pays the bills and want to go back to school. I told them that I was interested in a getting a psychology degree to possibly become a psychiatrist. I figured they would be impressed, apparently, nothing went beyond the first date, probably because they weren't attracted/into me, and what did they do??? They went back on OLD, updated their profile pic and profile. Geez....I could have told them that I had a Harvard degree and they still wouldn't be blown away. Looks like they prefer women that work the pole at the strip clubs-the women that all men want: big tits and nice ass, right? See, when this happens, I prefer to just sit back and look pretty, don't care about carrying on a conversation, because in the end its all about looks... Before I got married I met a women, early 30s, attractive well educated and making a good living. She was frustrated that men weren't dating her but were flocking to her secretary who was also early 30s. This woman attributed to men being intimidated by her intelligence, education, income, etc. But about her secretary... She's equally attractive, light-hearted, never met a stranger, out-going and generally easy to talk to. She had a very welcoming and warm personality. If the other woman could get past her ego, she would see why this woman was so attractive. **Speaking for myself only, not men in general** Personally, I think that women tend to project their own desires onto how they want men to think. Women are impressed with a job and education so therefore they think that men should be as well, but that's just not realistic. That also doesn't immediately default to men wanting a mindless bimbo or being "intimidated". As far a priorities go, I find that men (me) rank personality, temperament and how a woman treats him very very high for a long term relationship. Men aren't looking for providers, they're looking for someone that will be a good steward of what she has; and in turn what they will have together. So although women won't give a waiter with a high-school diploma a second look, men will give his female counter part a chance granted that she's fun to be with and kind.
Wewon Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 So, if a girl was really hot and she was a waitress making 10 bucks an hour, would they date her? I'm talking about playboy playmate looks here. Yes. If she was fun to be with and we otherwise were compatible. The problem with this question is that we've all seen women date guys that weren't "up to snuff" but were very handsome, exciting or had some quality that she likes.
jam.over.jelly Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I think educated men prefer educated women, but they don't necessarily require the women to be educated, provided that she's smart and capable of taking care of herself. 1
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