Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by scratch This idea is not in touch with reality. Society has evolved with men initiating contact with women, from the introduction to the phone call to the date. I can think of only one time where a woman called me after I volunteered my number, and there I had first asked her for her number but had no pen and no phone, so she took mine for the sole purpose of calling me with hers. Ok, after going through some scenarios in my head, I think I need to revise my suggestion. If I'm not so interested, I'd like him to give me his phone number and save me the hassle of turning him down directly. If I'm really interested in him, I'd love him to ask for my phone number and call me. If he gave me his phone number, I'd appreciate it, too, he would have to be careful though not to appear lazy or taking me for granted. But I know, if I really like someone and feel we get along great, I will offer him my phone number freely and hope he will call me back (Sorry, I'm not ready yet to ask a guy for his phone number. I'm probably too spoiled. ).
browneyes22 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky You kept telling me I was playing games when I said that I give out my phone number to guys even though I'm not really interested. I've tried to explain my point of view, but that's what you obviously don't get. And my advice to ask for a date directly was not supposed to hint at your thread. I've told you already that this girl very likely wasn't interested in you. So you met someone who either played with your or was too polite to decline your request openly, but what's the point in running around and claiming that all women are playing games when they give out their phone numbers to guys they actually don't want to date? Wow...you never cease to amaze me. I have never seen someone miss something so completely before in my life. You really need to learn how to READ and LISTEN. I'm not the first one telling you this...perhaps you should take it as a hint. If you don't see how doing what your doing is playing games then you can't see much. I mean...everyone on this thread is basically telling you how they don't like being led on my recieving a # from a girl whom isn't interested. H E L L O! This is game playing...rude...flakey...not appropriate...cowardly...and selfish among other things. Yet you still stand by, "Oh...I don't get why guys can't understand why I give them my phone number even though I am not interested." Your point of view is stupid, and this is what we are trying to tell you. But, of course, you still won't understand 'cause you've proven to not be capable of understanding much of anything. No sh*t this girl isn't interested. And i'm not claiming all women are playing games...just most women I meet. And, again, if you listened to what people are telling you on this thread it sounds like I am not alone on this one. Kooky...go ahead and keep on giving out your # when your not interested...keep on not LISTENING to what people are telling you. It's only going to result in meeting someone whom will do the same to you perhaps even worse. You reap what you sew kooky, you reap what you sew.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by browneyes22 If you don't see how doing what your doing is playing games then you can't see much. I mean...everyone on this thread is basically telling you how they don't like being led on my recieving a # from a girl whom isn't interested. H E L L O! This is game playing...rude...flakey...not appropriate...cowardly...and selfish among other things. Yet you still stand by, "Oh...I don't get why guys can't understand why I give them my phone number even though I am not interested." Your point of view is stupid, and this is what we are trying to tell you. But, of course, you still won't understand 'cause you've proven to not be capable of understanding much of anything. Obviously you don't understand the definition of a game. There must be deliberate decision to lead people on which is not given. Most guys here just said they would prefer to be rejected on the spot, but not everybody said they assumed ulterior motives behind it.
browneyes22 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky Obviously you don't understand the definition of a game. There must be deliberate decision to lead people on which is not given. Most guys here just said they would prefer to be rejected on the spot, but not everybody said they assumed ulterior motives behind it. Kooky...your clueless.
d'Arthez Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky If I'm not so interested, I'd like him to give me his phone number and save me the hassle of turning him down directly. This is consistent with your view. But If I'm really interested in him, I'd love him to ask for my phone number and call me. If he gave me his phone number, I'd appreciate it, too, he would have to be careful though not to appear lazy or taking me for granted. And how is a guy to know the difference? How does he magically know when option #1 or #2 happens?
lostinlove0479 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Not to get in the middle of ur debate but I am guilty of giving my number and not being all that interested. But, there have been times I've given my number and talked to the guy and really wound up liking him. Sometimes, things are going on in the receiver's life, problem's with current relationship and just want to get a number or at that time they may think, "Maybe" but then realize "No. I'm not interested, shouldn't have done that". It really just depends. It also depends on how you're approached whether or not you feel as if you'll come across as mean. I mean, sometimes you really don't want to offend someone b/c many people will take offense to that, like what's wrong with me that you're not interested. Regardless, if you're a guy and you get a girl's number and you're doing all the calling (even if she answers but never calls you), she probably doesn't like you all that much. I've been in that position as well. All you can do is try and see. It never killed anyone to be rejected. and being rejected doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it just means there is no chemistry on the other person's side and truly creating chemistry is a true waste of time when someone will feel you from the start.
noname Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I've been arguing back and forth in another thread about this problem with giving out phone numbers. This is a question for the guys. When you ask a girl for her phone number, would you prefer her to shot you down on the spot with a blunt no or would you prefer to figure this out later on your own when she avoids setting up any meetings with you? What will you think of her when she tells you to your face that she doesn't want to give you her phone number? My personal opinion is that a guy should know that when she is never calling back or making any efforts to set up a date with him, she's not interested. She may have given him her phone number, but that was politeness and if you really want to get a clear answer, ask her point blank for a date, don't make a detour via the phone numbers. just say no. period. it is considered to be playing games because it leads people on. and it is more irritating to have someone you really thought was interested turn out to be someone who was just trying to get you off their back. hurts the ego worse than just getting shot down. plus it makes problems for you to have guys you are not interested leave you messages. something to think about... the more random guys that you give your number out to, increases your chances of waking up and finding some crazy Jeffrey Dahmer type nibbling on your toes...
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by lostinlove0479 Not to get in the middle of ur debate but I think "getting in the middle of the debate" is the whole idea behind LS!
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez How does he magically know when option #1 or #2 happens? I usually smile a lot and look him in the eyes. We get along well. For me, getting along well and smiling is NOT enough. It's just a sign that I think you're a nice person and maybe I like hanging out with, BUT there's no romantic interest.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by noname something to think about... the more random guys that you give your number out to, increases your chances of waking up and finding some crazy Jeffrey Dahmer type nibbling on your toes... Ok, I got your message with saying no at once, but what are you telling me here????? Are you hinting that giving out phone numbers when there's no interest means the girl is not making any distinction with whom she engages in a sexual activity?????
d'Arthez Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I usually smile a lot and look him in the eyes. We get along well. For me, getting along well and smiling is NOT enough. It's just a sign that I think you're a nice person and maybe I like hanging out with, BUT there's no romantic interest. Ah, but every woman is different. How is a man to read this behavior as friendly behavior in one instance, and outright interested in the other instances? He can't ask you twice and fit in both #1 and #2 options. For instance: If you perceive for instance Asian girls as more closed, then smiling might be appreciated more by the guys than when it comes from Caucasian women. So smiling may become something of an indicator of interest, with Asian girls because of the preconceptions that exist about Asians. Asians can't do a thing about it of course. The result: confusion on both sides.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez Ah, but every woman is different. How is a man to read this behavior as friendly behavior in one instance, and outright interested in the other instances? He can't ask you twice and fit in both #1 and #2 options. For instance: If you perceive for instance Asian girls as more closed, then smiling might be appreciated more by the guys than when it comes from Caucasian women. So smiling may become something of an indicator of interest, with Asian girls because of the preconceptions that exist about Asians. Asians can't do a thing about it of course. The result: confusion on both sides. There's no 100% certainty. Watch the woman interact with other people when it's possible.
d'Arthez Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky There's no 100% certainty. Watch the woman interact with other people when it's possible. That is possible, but that is considered stalking. A no is 100% certain.
lostinlove0479 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I think "getting in the middle of the debate" is the whole idea behind LS! alright mr. smary pants...it seemed like a debate between browneyes and kooky. that's the debate i was speaking of. and the idea behind LS is to provide different perspectives not necessarily debate over who's right or wrong. there is no right and no wrong here, just an array of opinions.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by lostinlove0479 alright mr. smary pants...it seemed like a debate between browneyes and kooky. that's the debate i was speaking of. and the idea behind LS is to provide different perspectives not necessarily debate over who's right or wrong. there is no right and no wrong here, just an array of opinions. Feel free to participate.
browneyes22 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky Ok, I got your message with saying no at once, but what are you telling me here????? Are you hinting that giving out phone numbers when there's no interest means the girl is not making any distinction with whom she engages in a sexual activity????? Again... Kooky...your clueless. lostinlove0479...just in my own experiences, usually there is a spark/chemistly developed. It is always obvious, acknoledged and apparant from both people. But, then they choose on the decline when one asks them out, or calls them and doesn't hear back. It's called teasing...and men don't really like it all that much. So some women let it go so far, then shoot you us down. They either don't know they are doing it or it is intentional.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by browneyes22 Again... Kooky...your clueless. lostinlove0479...just in my own experiences, usually there is a spark/chemistly developed. It is always obvious, acknoledged and apparant from both people. But, then they choose on the decline when one asks them out, or calls them and doesn't hear back. It's called teasing...and men don't really like it all that much. So some women let it go so far, then shoot you us down. They either don't know they are doing it or it is intentional. I had so many guys think there was chemistry involved when there was none. Just because he misreads the signs, the girl is the bad one. It's politeness when she smiles at a joke and it's politeness when she gives out her phone number when he asks her for it.
scratch Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I had so many guys think there was chemistry involved when there was none. Just because he misreads the signs, the girl is the bad one. It's politeness when she smiles at a joke and it's politeness when she gives out her phone number when he asks her for it. You seriously need to read the other thread about how women feel when a man is polite to them. After all, I started it in your honor.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by scratch You seriously need to read the other thread about how women feel when a man is polite to them. After all, I started it in your honor. Whoohooo! Where?
scratch Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky Whoohooo! Where? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t63365/
browneyes22 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I had so many guys think there was chemistry involved when there was none. Just because he misreads the signs, the girl is the bad one. It's politeness when she smiles at a joke and it's politeness when she gives out her phone number when he asks her for it. Kooky...listen to our advice and get a clue. I've had many instances where the flirting was WAY past the smiling and eye contact phase. Are you trying to tell me when a girl rubs up against me like cat she is just being polite? Your CLUELESS. I don't think a girl is wholly interested in me just because she smiles and laughs at my jokes. But when she smiles at me a certain way...and laughs at things that weren't intended to be funny, then I investigate. You seem to think that us guys believe we have a shot just because we catch a wiff of your perfume from a distance. We don't. But when you flirt, which ALWAYS starts with a smile and eye contact...then we investigate. FOR THE LAST TIME...GIVING OUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER ONLY TO SNUB THE GUY IS NOT POLITE IT'S RUDE. GET IT THRU YOUR SKULL. GET A CLUE.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by browneyes22 Kooky...listen to our advice and get a clue. I've had many instances where the flirting was WAY past the smiling and eye contact phase. Are you trying to tell me when a girl rubs up against me like cat she is just being polite? Your CLUELESS. I don't think a girl is wholly interested in me just because she smiles and laughs at my jokes. But when she smiles at me a certain way...and laughs at things that weren't intended to be funny, then I investigate. You seem to think that us guys believe we have a shot just because we catch a wiff of your perfume from a distance. We don't. But when you flirt, which ALWAYS starts with a smile and eye contact...then we investigate. FOR THE LAST TIME...GIVING OUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER ONLY TO SNUB THE GUY IS NOT POLITE IT'S RUDE. GET IT THRU YOUR SKULL. GET A CLUE. Did it occur to you that different people have different reasons to give out their phone numbers? I prefer not to be put in the same class with girls who flirt by rubbing against guys.
d'Arthez Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky Did it occur to you that different people have different reasons to give out their phone numbers? I prefer not to be put in the same class with girls who flirt by rubbing against guys. But again, you have no control over the prejudices and preconceptions of a guy who approaches you. So again, if you want a bit of certainty where you are standing with regards to a guy, say "no." You'll see his reaction immediately, and know directly what he thinks of you.
browneyes22 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by kooky Did it occur to you that different people have different reasons to give out their phone numbers? I prefer not to be put in the same class with girls who flirt by rubbing against guys (by the way, what does it tell about you to ask these girls for their phone number? ) Sure...some people give out there phone numbers 'cause they work together, or play basketball on saturday afternoon's together. And as more evidence that you don't listen...i never put you in the category of rubbing up against other guys. (I can't believe I have to explain this again) What I was saying is that I don't ask for a date until there is clear evidence of interest. And some women like to take it to the body rub faze. Having said that, some of these same women back off when I do...categorizing them as a tease. What does it say about a single guy like me when I ask out girls rubbing up on me?...Oh kooky, yet more evidence that you truelly don't understand men at all.
Author tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 I say, different people (aka girls) have different reasons for giving out their numbers. Your rubbing girls are maybe playing games, but I don't, get that straight. And let me tell you, I would not ask girls for their phone numbers who rub against you, it's not the usual way people behave.
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