I'm Dreading Trying Online Dating

October 29, 2015

I don't have a Facebook account

And Tinder only works for male model dudes

Ok, now you are just being totally ridiculous.

If you can't be ****ed to set up a Facebook profile then you mighty as well stop wasting peoples time here.

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and think you were genuine but with posts like this its becoming increasingly difficult to believe.

October 29, 2015

Did you read the part I said where it would put my friend in a very awkward/bad position? I wouldn't do that if I had a chance to date a movie star

Women label all guys hitting on them that they don't like as disgusting creepers.

Well, I think I've identified your issue.

You have some very, very, VERY faulty thinking going on inside your head.

The worst part is, it appears to be sitting squarely in your blind spot, which is why you're completely clueless as to why you're struggling so much.

A quick summary;

1) You have huge issues around looking foolish or being rejected. This leads you to massive risk avoidant behaviour in dating. No risks = No rewards.

2) You have massively faulty ideas about how women think and what they find attractive. You make huge, sweeping generalisations that only serve to further paralyze you.

3) You're unable to seriously reflect on the things people are telling you, instead shooting them down or simply ignoring their advice.

If you seriously want to do something about your dating, you need to stop focusing outwards and focus inwards. Be willing to have the tough discussions. Be wiling to fail, to look foolish, to be rejected. Be willing to actually put yourself out there.

In other words, find the courage to change.

Wish you luck man. Signing out.

October 29, 2015

Ok, now you are just being totally ridiculous.

If you can't be ****ed to set up a Facebook profile then you mighty as well stop wasting peoples time here.

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and think you were genuine but with posts like this its becoming increasingly difficult to believe.

A lot of my friends have asked me to set up a Facebook profile but I hate taking pictures and I hate writing about myself. It feels very awkward

I've resisted for many years, I dunno if I will ever have a Facebook

October 29, 2015

Well, I think I've identified your issue.

You have some very, very, VERY faulty thinking going on inside your head.

The worst part is, it appears to be sitting squarely in your blind spot, which is why you're completely clueless as to why you're struggling so much.

A quick summary;

1) You have huge issues around looking foolish or being rejected. This leads you to massive risk avoidant behaviour in dating. No risks = No rewards.

2) You have massively faulty ideas about how women think and what they find attractive. You make huge, sweeping generalisations that only serve to further paralyze you.

3) You're unable to seriously reflect on the things people are telling you, instead shooting them down or simply ignoring their advice.

If you seriously want to do something about your dating, you need to stop focusing outwards and focus inwards. Be willing to have the tough discussions. Be wiling to fail, to look foolish, to be rejected. Be willing to actually put yourself out there.

In other words, find the courage to change.

Wish you luck man. Signing out.

Looking foolish by getting rejected in a very ugly way with women I'll never see again is one thing

If that happens with my best friends' employees, you really don't see how that can put him in a very bad position? Don't get it twisted, my friends are more important to me than dating a movie star supermodel. I would never do anything to make them look bad. I'm not acquaintances with this guy, he's basically my older brother. I spend Christmas eve with his family

I'm curious to hear you elaborate on your #2 point. What's wrong with my generalizations? I say that decent looking women online only really want male models- you want to see the 10 studies I've seen with profiles of male models saying and doing all sorts of horrible **** and still having very attractive women be ALL over them?

October 30, 2015

As a guy, I believe I know what your problem is.

You are not coming across as confident to women. The are picking up up it, and are avoiding you because of it.

Work on that part of you.

October 30, 2015

As a guy, I believe I know what your problem is.

You are not coming across as confident to women. The are picking up up it, and are avoiding you because of it.

Work on that part of you.

That was probably true 10 years ago, I don't know if it's true anymore. I can be extremely confident at times in myself and who I am as a person

October 30, 2015

Bitter party of one?

Everyone in here has given you good advice. But you obviously don't need it because you already know it all. So why bother posting at all?

As a woman, here's what I see:

- You are terrified of rejection i.e. you don't want to put yourself out there in any way

- You are prone to catastrophizing

- You lack self-awareness/insight and you are not ready to work on yourself in the ways that are actually important (hint: it's not your body fat percentage)

Which is why you'll keep making sweeping generalizations about what us "shallow" women want and blaming "ferocious" competition for the failure you're anticipating and likely to experience. Try to reflect on all the good advice you've been given instead of shooting down every single suggestion. Otherwise, even the most talented photographer won't be able to help you obtain better results.

October 30, 2015

Looking foolish by getting rejected in a very ugly way with women I'll never see again is one thing

If that happens with my best friends' employees, you really don't see how that can put him in a very bad position? Don't get it twisted, my friends are more important to me than dating a movie star supermodel. I would never do anything to make them look bad. I'm not acquaintances with this guy, he's basically my older brother. I spend Christmas eve with his family

I'm curious to hear you elaborate on your #2 point. What's wrong with my generalizations? I say that decent looking women online only really want male models- you want to see the 10 studies I've seen with profiles of male models saying and doing all sorts of horrible **** and still having very attractive women be ALL over them?

1. Respectfully asking a woman if she'd like to grab a drink some time is not creepy. You are indicating interest. That's it. You're not making lewd remarks, you're not being disrespectful. It is functionally no different to offering a product to a potential customer in sales. Being rejected is only as big a deal as you want to make it be. Those women aren't going to be horrified to be asked out. If your "friend" freaks out at you asking some of his employee's out for a drink, then he's not much of a friend. Sorry.

2. Generalizations assume that there is some set of GLOBAL rules that apply to ALL people. This has been proven, time and time again, to be categorically false. People are all unique. You *can not* know how a woman will respond to your approach. You are not a mind reader. The fact that people who are *not* male models manage to score beautiful women should tell you that.

3. You continue to make excuses to defend your faulty thinking. You continue to refuse the idea that your views could some how be false, or that there might be another way to look at the situation. The content of all your posts is basically "Yeah but.. <insert excuse>". This thread is filled with great advice. I'd be asking yourself "Why am I so resistant to taking any of it"?

October 30, 2015

Well, I think I've identified your issue.

You have some very, very, VERY faulty thinking going on inside your head.

The worst part is, it appears to be sitting squarely in your blind spot, which is why you're completely clueless as to why you're struggling so much.

A quick summary;

1) You have huge issues around looking foolish or being rejected. This leads you to massive risk avoidant behaviour in dating. No risks = No rewards.

2) You have massively faulty ideas about how women think and what they find attractive. You make huge, sweeping generalisations that only serve to further paralyze you.

3) You're unable to seriously reflect on the things people are telling you, instead shooting them down or simply ignoring their advice.

If you seriously want to do something about your dating, you need to stop focusing outwards and focus inwards. Be willing to have the tough discussions. Be wiling to fail, to look foolish, to be rejected. Be willing to actually put yourself out there.

In other words, find the courage to change.

Wish you luck man. Signing out.

This absolutely, to add to it

1) you have too much pride and you care too much what other think of you. You are too scared to fail to even try. And you make up all these excuses why you can't just try

2) you have a completely warped belief system about women. For all the friends that you have and for having sisters you really don't understand anything about women. And you are not willing to entertain the idea that maybe your beliefs are wrong.

October 30, 2015

That was probably true 10 years ago, I don't know if it's true anymore. I can be extremely confident at times in myself and who I am as a person

Its true now.

Accept it, and work on it.

October 30, 2015

It is functionally no different to offering a product to a potential customer in sales.

<----I offered another customer my services to supply her with some ropes, chains, and tie downs today.

She smiled.

Then I told her we have inside info that the zombies are planning an attack.

This one took my phone number. lol

We wait and see now. hehehe

October 30, 2015

I could take a guess that if you talk to girls in real life in any way like the way u talk on this forum - grossly exaggerating numbers and making unsupported sweeping generalisation - even if they can't yet detect your underlying negative beliefs about women, they will be turned off by the first conversation with you. That's why you don't have a girlfriend.

October 30, 2015

I could take a guess that if you talk to girls in real life in any way like the way u talk on this forum - grossly exaggerating numbers and making unsupported sweeping generalisation

LOL no i don't do that, I'm all about having a good time when I'm interacting with people in real life

October 30, 2015

Its true now.

Accept it, and work on it.

I try very hard to work on my confidence everyday. No such thing as too much confidence

October 30, 2015

2) you have a completely warped belief system about women. For all the friends that you have and for having sisters you really don't understand anything about women. And you are not willing to entertain the idea that maybe your beliefs are wrong.

Go into specific examples please

October 30, 2015

OP do you even flirt with these women or do you talk to them like your friends or clients and then wait for signs of interest? When you don't get any you just give up completely. And you sound like a people pleaser pushover nice guy in a group full of alpha men. The women can also probably see that.

October 30, 2015

OP do you even flirt with these women or do you talk to them like your friends or clients and then wait for signs of interest? When you don't get any you just give up completely. And you sound like a people pleaser pushover nice guy in a group full of alpha men. The women can also probably see that.

Lmao @ me being a pushover

I promise you that I'm far from a pushover. I'm very nice to everyone but nobody dares disrespect me

October 30, 2015

Go into specific examples please

The fact that you think dating is 100000 easier for women than men

That a female gets hit on 5000000 times as soon as she goes out the door

That women as a species are all shallow and only date models

That asking a girl out politely and nicely will be considered creepy

October 30, 2015

You have the same basic problem in dating as anybody: the closer to your ideal the person is, the harder they are to get.

You're right that 20-something women are the pickiest age group of women online because they're the most in demand. So it's good that you're shaping up more. The better you look, the better your chances.

You mention several times your ethnicity as a potential factor, and I'm sure you're right that it is a factor to some. Are you approaching white girls only, or other ethnicities/races as well?

I think trying online dating again is a good idea, but keep working on real-life approaches as well. I think that in general, men have the edge in "the wild," and women have the edge online. Many men, even men who are very attractive and desirable, are not bold enough to flirt with women they want. So if you are, that automatically sets you above the pack.

October 30, 2015

So what is it you want?

If it's going to be so horrific then don't do it.

Do you want someone to agree with you? Fine, you're right. Just give up now. You're not a male model so don't even bother. Women are shallow shallow creatures. My inbox is flooded with messages. To boot, I'm overweight. Horror of horrors. I would never expect a specimen like you to look at me.

Just give up now. You don't sound appealing in any way.

October 30, 2015

Well going out on a date with a woman who saw my pictures and profile and who is attracted to me is a way different ballgame than these salon girls who want nothing to do with me. Going into a date knowing that the girl in question is attracted to me makes the process very easy for me. I just gotta be myself and she will fall in love with me.

Then why didn't the salon girls fall in love with you?

October 30, 2015

Ok, now you are just being totally ridiculous.

If you can't be ****ed to set up a Facebook profile then you mighty as well stop wasting peoples time here.

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and think you were genuine but with posts like this its becoming increasingly difficult to believe.

Exactly why I gave up 10 pages ago

October 30, 2015

That women as a species are all shallow and only date models <------women are not a "species" lol

They are the opposite sex, unless men can understand them, THEN they are a different species

October 30, 2015

Everybody in my circle absolutely adores me for those kind of reasons.

You don't need to do OLD. You say you have a huge social circle and that they absolutely adore you. You have it made. Tell everyone you're serous about finding a GF and partner, and they'll be setting you up with their favorite single women. Don't waste time with OLD.

Have the people in your circle been setting you up? If not, why not? Ask them. They're your friends. They'll tell you and you can work on it.

October 30, 2015

You guys keep telling me to do online pictures with my friends

Here's a picture with my 2 best friends, two all American looking studly dudes. Any online dating picture I do with these 2 will make me look horrible. 99% of women prefer all American looking dudes over some foreigner like me. I got no chance in hell.

http://s27.postimg.org/v143c26j7/IMG_0948.png

Edited October 30, 2015 by CosmicGate7

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