I'm Dreading Trying Online Dating

October 27, 2015

Then people will just see you as obsessive.
Obsessive = off putting.
Like I said before....Relax!!

around other people, I just focus on making them feel very comfortable around me

my obsessive desire to be the best is when I'm pulling a 15 hour shift or working out with the intensity of a possessed demon at the gym

October 27, 2015

They aren't!!!!!!!

lol

I'm going to start a dating profile with one of my sister's pictures one of these days for ****s and giggles. if I get less than a 1,000 maybe 5,000 messages in a week, I will be absolutely shocked.

October 27, 2015

lol

I'm going to start a dating profile with one of my sister's pictures one of these days for ****s and giggles. if I get less than a 1,000 maybe 5,000 messages in a week, I will be absolutely shocked.

No, allow me to use your picture and test-drive it here in my city. I don't beleive you get no messages from women.

October 27, 2015

No, allow me to use your picture and test-drive it here in my city. I don't beleive you get no messages from women.

man you guys are so nice to me, seriously I love the female posters on this site

October 27, 2015

It's a good thing that OP has extremely low expectations on online dating. That's exactly the attitude you need to do it. If he had high expectations, he would be starting threads asking why she did or didn't do this....

October 27, 2015

I work extremely obsessively on myself in every possible way I can everyday.

Ok, the above sounds a little narcissistic and self involved, maybe you need to turn your focus more outward? And in one breath you said if you could get women out on a date you'd be great with them, in the next you said women you have met in real life aren't interested. Women on LS have said you are attractive so I still think it must be something in your attitude / personality that is turning them off.

Anyway, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and give you some tips on how to online date!

If you want to get dates online you have to be willing to put the work in. Put up at least 4 to 5 profile photos with a mix of headshots and you engaging in fun activities. Write a short but sweet profile about who you are and what you are looking for. If you can't be funny, don't bother even trying, just be earnest and straight forward. Run your profile through LS or another site like it to get feedback on improvements.

Then set a goal for yourself to message a minimum of 5 women per day - with an average response rate you may only get a response of 1 in 10 or so. Keep the initial message to a couple of lines and reference something in their profile, preferably a question so they have something to respond to. E.G. "Hey, I love netflix too! I'm currently binge watching Orange is the New Black, but I'm almost done the latest season. Do you have any recommendations for what I should watch next?"

Open up your scope a little with who you message, you need to get out on dates, not necessarily with the "hottest" of the bunch but with women who are willing to respond to you. Even if you are not messaging anyone, log in whenever you are at home - the more online you are, the more visible you are to others.

If you are on a site like OkCupid, use the quickmatch feature which allows you to "like" women. If they "like" you back, message them right away, your response rate should be higher using this tool.

Once you have exchanged a couple of emails back and forth, ask them out on a date. Don't take it personally if they flake during the messaging period or even during the first few weeks, that's normal for (online) dating. If the first date goes well, ask them out on a second.

Repeat the above until you meet someone you like.

October 27, 2015

Ok, the above sounds a little narcissistic and self involved, maybe you need to turn your focus more outward? And in one breath you said if you could get women out on a date you'd be great with them, in the next you said women you have met in real life aren't interested. Women on LS have said you are attractive so I still think it must be something in your attitude / personality that is turning them off.

Anyway, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and give you some tips on how to online date!

If you want to get dates online you have to be willing to put the work in. Put up at least 4 to 5 profile photos with a mix of headshots and you engaging in fun activities. Write a short but sweet profile about who you are and what you are looking for. If you can't be funny, don't bother even trying, just be earnest and straight forward. Run your profile through LS or another site like it to get feedback on improvements.

Then set a goal for yourself to message a minimum of 5 women per day - with an average response rate you may only get a response of 1 in 10 or so. Keep the initial message to a couple of lines and reference something in their profile, preferably a question so they have something to respond to. E.G. "Hey, I love netflix too! I'm currently binge watching Orange is the New Black, but I'm almost done the latest season. Do you have any recommendations for what I should watch next?"

Open up your scope a little with who you message, you need to get out on dates, not necessarily with the "hottest" of the bunch but with women who are willing to respond to you. Even if you are not messaging anyone, log in whenever you are at home - the more online you are, the more visible you are to others.

If you are on a site like OkCupid, use the quickmatch feature which allows you to "like" women. If they "like" you back, message them right away, your response rate should be higher using this tool.

Once you have exchanged a couple of emails back and forth, ask them out on a date. Don't take it personally if they flake during the messaging period or even during the first few weeks, that's normal for (online) dating. If the first date goes well, ask them out on a second.

Repeat the above until you meet someone you like.

Bless you, saint.

You know OP will have about 10 things to say against this advice though, right?

October 27, 2015

Ok, the above sounds a little narcissistic and self involved, maybe you need to turn your focus more outward? And in one breath you said if you could get women out on a date you'd be great with them, in the next you said women you have met in real life aren't interested. Women on LS have said you are attractive so I still think it must be something in your attitude / personality that is turning them off.

I said I've met women through my friends' salon for example

We got along great and had a lot of fun together but they would never date me in a million years. Don't ask me why, you have to ask them.

If I got a few dates with women who were actually attracted to me, I would absolutely dominate.

Anyway, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and give you some tips on how to online date!

If you want to get dates online you have to be willing to put the work in. Put up at least 4 to 5 profile photos with a mix of headshots and you engaging in fun activities. Write a short but sweet profile about who you are and what you are looking for. If you can't be funny, don't bother even trying, just be earnest and straight forward. Run your profile through LS or another site like it to get feedback on improvements.

Then set a goal for yourself to message a minimum of 5 women per day - with an average response rate you may only get a response of 1 in 10 or so. Keep the initial message to a couple of lines and reference something in their profile, preferably a question so they have something to respond to. E.G. "Hey, I love netflix too! I'm currently binge watching Orange is the New Black, but I'm almost done the latest season. Do you have any recommendations for what I should watch next?"

everything else you said in this post is very good advice but it's stuff that I'm already pretty familiar with.

October 27, 2015

No, allow me to use your picture and test-drive it here in my city. I don't beleive you get no messages from women.

I just reread this post for the second time and noticed that Gaeta made the implication that I would actually get messages from women without even sending them first.

I think my brain would literally explode if that happened

October 27, 2015

Bless you, saint.

You know OP will have about 10 things to say against this advice though, right?

no it was a good post but it was all stuff I was already familiar with for the most part.

...which makes me doubt even more that I can be successful my second try. I did everything "by the book" my first try and received atrocious results.

October 27, 2015

I send 200 messages with zero replies, end up being incredibly demoralized and swear off women forever... probably go live in Tibet as a celibate monk.

Gee... that's drama. So it's online or nothing for you? Ha ha. Do they have wifi in Tibetan temple? I think your post is a rant, not a question. It's ok... we have rants and vents here... we're still supportive.

October 27, 2015

I'm around 5'10 199 right now at 12-14% body fat. I'm in the process of dropping about 25 lbs more so I can be around 8% body fat. Do you guys think I'm better off having the professional pictures done at that point to try online dating? My face looks way way way better at the very low body fat levels and my waistline gets incredibly trim/narrow. My face ends up looking very angular and lean kind of like this

and yes I'm aware of how incredibly vain I sound right now but women on online dating sites are astoundingly shallow and the competition is just ferocious. I need to look my absolute best to even have a snowball's chance in hell. I'm not this vain in real life lol

note: I'm not on steroids like that, I'm natural.

Edited October 27, 2015 by CosmicGate7

October 27, 2015

It's a good thing that OP has extremely low expectations on online dating. That's exactly the attitude you need to do it. If he had high expectations, he would be starting threads asking why she did or didn't do this....

low expectations? I have no expectations

October 27, 2015

I'm around 5'10 199 right now at 12-14% body fat. I'm in the process of dropping about 25 lbs more so I can be around 8% body fat. Do you guys think I'm better off having the professional pictures done at that point to try online dating? My face looks way way way better at the very low body fat levels and my waistline gets incredibly trim/narrow. My face ends up looking very angular and lean kind of like this

and yes I'm aware of how incredibly vain I sound right now but women on online dating sites are astoundingly shallow and the competition is just ferocious. I need to look my absolute best to even have a snowball's chance in hell. I'm not this vain in real life lol

note: I'm not on steroids like that, I'm natural.

OP, do you honestly think the type of woman you are into would care about how your much leaner your face looks at a lower body fat% vs what it looks like now? Is it that much better looking? Are you looking for a woman that predominantly likes you for your body and money?

October 27, 2015

OP, do you honestly think the type of woman you are into would care about how your much leaner your face looks at a lower body fat% vs what it looks like now? Is it that much better looking? Are you looking for a woman that predominantly likes you for your body and money?

I've seen a few different experiments done with pictures of male models saying the most horrible **** imaginable(I want to rape you, stuff like that) with the worst profiles imaginable getting 500 very attractive women who want to marry them.

I now believe women are as shallow, maybe more shallow than men are. I hate to be this vain but I'm forced to be this way.

and yes it's a huge difference, especially for my facial features. I look wayyyy better being extremely lean.

October 27, 2015

Do yourself a favor and just use Tinder.

October 27, 2015

Do yourself a favor and just use Tinder.

why? I want a girlfriend, I don't want to hookup

Why are you taking it so hard that women nowadays are as shallow, maybe more shallow than men are? If you received a million messages a day, wouldn't you only want the best of the best?

October 27, 2015

I've seen a few different experiments done with pictures of male models saying the most horrible **** imaginable(I want to rape you, stuff like that) with the worst profiles imaginable getting 500 very attractive women who want to marry them.

I now believe women are as shallow, maybe more shallow than men are. I hate to be this vain but I'm forced to be this way.

and yes it's a huge difference, especially for my facial features. I look wayyyy better being extremely lean.

Where do you see these things you are talking about? like 1000 messages and ridiculous numbers. Where? I have been online dating for 3,5 years, my daughter does online dating, my friends, friends of friends, some of them belong on top of magazine gorgeous and they DON'T get 1000 messages.

October 27, 2015

Where do you see these things you are talking about? like 1000 messages and ridiculous numbers. Where? I have been online dating for 3,5 years, my daughter does online dating, my friends, friends of friends, some of them belong on top of magazine gorgeous and they DON'T get 1000 messages.

I've seen a few different experiments online done using pictures of attractive and fit women - I believe they were receiving around a 1000 messages a week, maybe closer to 5,000. Obviously a lot of that will be garbage but plenty of them were good looking, classy and fit dudes. That's not hyperbole. I've seen experiments using male models and they received a lot less messages but the quality is incredibly high - they only really got messaged by very attractive women. The difference is that any decent looking female gets tons of messages - the only men who really get a decent amount of messages are the ones who are top 0.00000000000000000000000000000001% handsome.

Maybe the difference is I live in a fairly populated area?

October 27, 2015

Women getting 1000's of messages will of course lead them to becoming super picky. So they outright reject the men that are in their league. Then when Brad Pitt messages them, they get their hopes up thinking he is "the one", only to end up in a classic pump and dump. Back online. And the vicious cycle continues.

It's not worth the effort Go out and approach.

October 27, 2015

I've seen a few different experiments online done using pictures of attractive and fit women - I believe they were receiving around a 1000 messages a week, maybe closer to 5,000. Obviously a lot of that will be garbage but plenty of them were good looking, classy and fit dudes. That's not hyperbole. I've seen experiments using male models and they received a lot less messages but the quality is incredibly high - they only really got messaged by very attractive women. The difference is that any decent looking female gets tons of messages - the only men who really get a decent amount of messages are the ones who are top 0.00000000000000000000000000000001% handsome.

Maybe the difference is I live in a fairly populated area?

None sense. These test you're talking about were made up by geeks unable say hello to a woman or make eye contact. Make your own test.

I live in a city of 4 millions. There is no such a thing as 1000 messages.

I have met close to 150 men. I know A LOT about online dating. Men don't need to be models to get messages, they just need to be descent. The ones that have a hard time even though they are good looking are shorter men. They do struggle on there. Are you a shorter man?

October 27, 2015

Women getting 1000's of messages will of course lead them to becoming super picky. So they outright reject the men that are in their league. Then when Brad Pitt messages them, they get their hopes up thinking he is "the one", only to end up in a classic pump and dump. Back online. And the vicious cycle continues.

It's not worth the effort Go out and approach.

yep. Women on online dating sites are the most shallow beings on the planet.

I'm going into this knowing that I'm probably going to have to date someone who is less attractive than myself but maybe a 6/10 with a nice personality is okay? I would be okay with dating a girl with a pretty face and maybe 5-10 lbs extra weight. My lifestyle and fitness regimen is pretty awesome. I can make anybody look amazing if they do what I do. My best friend started lifting with me years ago and he went from a decent looking guy who was skinny to looking like a studmuffin.

October 27, 2015

None sense. These test you're talking about were made up by geeks unable say hello to a woman or make eye contact. Make your own test.

I live in a city of 4 millions. There is no such a thing as 1000 messages.

I have met close to 150 men. I know A LOT about online dating. Men don't need to be models to get messages, they just need to be descent. The ones that have a hard time even though they are good looking are shorter men. They do struggle on there. Are you a shorter man?

I'm 5'10 so decent height.

And you keep talking about getting messages. You're actually telling me that you think decent looking women would message me first? You might as well tell me that pink unicorns exist.

But you're getting me excited with all this positive talk, I will definitely try when I'm done with my current weight loss and I may try even sooner than that. Even if I crash and burn again, at least I'm going down trying.

October 27, 2015

OP is going to fail because he's not facially attractive enough to get the hot shallow chicks and comes across as too narcissistic for the average women that want serious relationships.

October 27, 2015

yep. Women on online dating sites are the most shallow beings on the planet.

Funny you say that cause a few posts ago you were saying how nice me and the ladies are. I am a woman online.

Sign In

I'm Dreading Trying Online Dating

Recommended Posts

CosmicGate7

CosmicGate7

Gaeta

CosmicGate7

SwordofFlame

Jejangles

losangelena

CosmicGate7

CosmicGate7

CosmicGate7

Maggie4

CosmicGate7

CosmicGate7

SwordofFlame

CosmicGate7

SwordofFlame

CosmicGate7

Gaeta

CosmicGate7

40 Fonzarelli

Gaeta

CosmicGate7

CosmicGate7

SwordofFlame

Gaeta

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...