I'm Dreading Trying Online Dating

October 30, 2015

OP, you're wasting your time focusing on your race. It's not something you can change. Can it work against you? Sure. You'll just have to try harder than most people.

I just get frustrated because white people here do love me so much. Also it's frustrating because I saw how much white guys loved my sister.

But yea I'm open to all women who are attractive and potentially compatible with me. That asian girl yesterday was cute.

October 30, 2015

Why do you not think white families would be unaccepting of me? One of my best friends dad is a hardcore racist redneck from Ohio and he absolutely loves me - he would adopt me if he could. I've had clients at work who were hillbillies who loved me

I'm sure that some families would. I'm just saying that the preference for "all-American white dudes" you've noticed in your circle of rich white friends is probably not just a product of your imagination. It's smart to be aware of this as a factor in the equation. Young women care the most what people think of them. To many if not most of these women, you are "forbidden fruit". This isn't because of anything you're doing or not doing. It just is.

And also it is not easy to find people like me - people who came here from overseas who have become extremely Americanized. Most foreigners I meet are still holding strong on to their culture. I prefer American culture over my own TBH

Several of my closest female friends from high school, college, and beyond are similar. So they're definitely out there.

And I've had serious relationships with two foreign men, both Arab, and they had a similar mentality. Like you, they're both overachievers who seemed to welcome the challenge of earning acceptance in white circles. But at times with them, we were the target of clearly racist behavior. My ex and I went to breakfast once in a very white area, and half the people in the restaurant just stared daggers into us the whole time we were there. Nobody said anything, but the tension was palpable. We just laughed about it and never went back, but deep down I found it very sad. It's hard to believe that so many people think this way. But they do.

October 30, 2015

I'm sure that some families would. I'm just saying that the preference for "all-American white dudes" you've noticed in your circle of rich white friends is probably not just a product of your imagination. It's smart to be aware of this as a factor in the equation. Young women care the most what people think of them. To many if not most of these women, you are "forbidden fruit". This isn't because of anything you're doing or not doing. It just is.

Several of my closest female friends from high school, college, and beyond are similar. So they're definitely out there.

And I've had serious relationships with two foreign men, both Arab, and they had a similar mentality. Like you, they're both overachievers who seemed to welcome the challenge of earning acceptance in white circles. But at times with them, we were the target of clearly racist behavior. My ex and I went to breakfast once in a very white area, and half the people in the restaurant just stared daggers into us the whole time we were there. Nobody said anything, but the tension was palpable. We just laughed about it and never went back, but deep down I found it very sad. It's hard to believe that so many people think this way. But they do.

Very interesting stuff. I've never felt any racism, even when hanging out with a hillbilly crowd at backwoods dive bars. Everybody welcomed me with open arms

Is the South still that racist?

October 30, 2015

Very interesting stuff. I've never felt any racism, even when hanging out with a hillbilly crowd at backwoods dive bars. Everybody welcomed me with open arms

Is the South still that racist?

We were living in the North. At the time I was visiting him on a business trip in a medium-size Midwestern town.

That's great that you've never experienced any racist behavior. Hopefully the times are changing in that regard.

October 30, 2015

We were living in the North. At the time I was visiting him on a business trip in a medium-size Midwestern town.

That's great that you've never experienced any racist behavior. Hopefully the times are changing in that regard.

People tend to think I'm either Spanish, Greek, Italian and a few think I'm Arab. The Arab is not as common because Americans are not used to seeing very Westernized Arabs. I'm technically Armenian which is like half Arab half European.

October 30, 2015

I think you're going to do just fine once you get a little outside your comfort zone and typical circles.

October 30, 2015

I think you're going to do just fine once you get a little outside your comfort zone and typical circles.

I must admit I do love my comfort zone, the people around here are terrific

October 30, 2015

I must admit I do love my comfort zone, the people around here are terrific

Cosmic, are you going to sign up to an OLD site before we hit 20 pages of discussing your dread of it?

October 30, 2015

Cosmic, are you going to sign up to an OLD site before we hit 20 pages of discussing your dread of it?

Nah, I won't do it until I get as chiseled as this

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lqYH8nYVhss/hqdefault.jpg

That's what I need to look like to have a tiny chance in hell of getting a date online with anybody decent looking.

October 30, 2015

Nah, I won't do it until I get as chiseled as this

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lqYH8nYVhss/hqdefault.jpg

That's what I need to look like to have a tiny chance in hell of getting a date online with anybody decent looking.

Are you serious? Do you really think that women care so much about huge muscles? As long as you are in good shape you are good to go. You dont need to pump iron for hours on end.

I consider myself decent looking and i would never go for a guy like that. Looks arrogant. And i get the impression that a very strict diet and training is the very top of his priority list. Maybe he would fit me in between a workout and a protein shake but im already turned off by the half naked veiny bumpy body. And by the way, i go to the gym 3-4 times a week. ( not an overweight single mother of 4 working in Walmart either. Just saying)

And also, i regularly message guys first, ( they are not male models, dont have professional photos, or huge shoulders. Seriously, most women dont care for male models with constipated looks and huge chests. I can only speak for women i know of course..

I have read through all of the pages and you seem to have a very weird view of womenkind.

And some of the things you say are pretty insulting. You talk about women like you were going target shooting "should i go for an 8?"

Millions of women use online dating to find someone they can connect with. And yes, attraction matters too but for most of us that starts with a smile not a flexed biceps. Also, we dont get 5000 messages a week.

Maybe things are very different in the US but here in Europe you get people from all walks of life get into successful relationships that started online.

When i read threads where guys complain about sending out hundreds of messages with zero responses it really baffles me.

October 30, 2015

Are you serious? Do you really think that women care so much about huge muscles? As long as you are in good shape you are good to go. You dont need to pump iron for hours on end.
I consider myself decent looking and i would never go for a guy like that. Looks arrogant. And i get the impression that a very strict diet and training is the very top of his priority list. Maybe he would fit me in between a workout and a protein shake but im already turned off by the half naked veiny bumpy body. And by the way, i go to the gym 3-4 times a week. ( not an overweight single mother of 4 working in Walmart either. Just saying)
And also, i regularly message guys first, ( they are not male models, dont have professional photos, or huge shoulders. Seriously, most women dont care for male models with constipated looks and huge chests. I can only speak for women i know of course..
I have read through all of the pages and you seem to have a very weird view of womenkind.
And some of the things you say are pretty insulting. You talk about women like you were going target shooting "should i go for an 8?"

Millions of women use online dating to find someone they can connect with. And yes, attraction matters too but for most of us that starts with a smile not a flexed biceps. Also, we dont get 5000 messages a week.
Maybe things are very different in the US but here in Europe you get people from all walks of life get into successful relationships that started online.
When i read threads where guys complain about sending out hundreds of messages with zero responses it really baffles me.

Please don't get him started again:)

October 30, 2015

Nah, I won't do it until I get as chiseled as this

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/lqYH8nYVhss/hqdefault.jpg

That's what I need to look like to have a tiny chance in hell of getting a date online with anybody decent looking.

Feck! I just actually threw up seeing that!

Horrible pic!!

October 30, 2015

Are you serious? Do you really think that women care so much about huge muscles? As long as you are in good shape you are good to go. You dont need to pump iron for hours on end.
I consider myself decent looking and i would never go for a guy like that. Looks arrogant. And i get the impression that a very strict diet and training is the very top of his priority list. Maybe he would fit me in between a workout and a protein shake but im already turned off by the half naked veiny bumpy body. And by the way, i go to the gym 3-4 times a week. ( not an overweight single mother of 4 working in Walmart either. Just saying)
And also, i regularly message guys first, ( they are not male models, dont have professional photos, or huge shoulders. Seriously, most women dont care for male models with constipated looks and huge chests. I can only speak for women i know of course..
I have read through all of the pages and you seem to have a very weird view of womenkind.
And some of the things you say are pretty insulting. You talk about women like you were going target shooting "should i go for an 8?"

Millions of women use online dating to find someone they can connect with. And yes, attraction matters too but for most of us that starts with a smile not a flexed biceps. Also, we dont get 5000 messages a week.
Maybe things are very different in the US but here in Europe you get people from all walks of life get into successful relationships that started online.
When i read threads where guys complain about sending out hundreds of messages with zero responses it really baffles me.

You guys gotta understand that I'm going for the female equivalent of that

I like women like this

http://pwpop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Jaime-Koeppe-42.jpg

And also as far as "attraction starts with a smile" , I think my smile is not too bad?

http://s9.postimg.org/3szpqynkv/20151022_133216.jpg

Edited October 30, 2015 by CosmicGate7

October 31, 2015

Online dating sucks ass

October 31, 2015

Online dating sucks ass

For dudes, it's rather atrocious. For women, it's fantastic - you create a profile and have 500 guys interested in you. Now a lot of that is trash but let's say 5% is quality, that's 25 quality male prospects immediately. As a male, it may take you years and years to get what she's getting in a second of posting her profile.

It absolutely boggles my mind that every woman on the planet doesn't use online dating. It's the greatest tool ever created for the female gender in regards to dating because of how it's structured

October 31, 2015

I think I've seen you writing on here many times before under many different user names.

Honestly, I can feel your frustrations but this message board really isn't that helpful to struggling men. As you can see from the hostility you're receiving.

There was a discussion topic started by a woman the other day who was complaining about receiving 60 something messages in 2 days and how she couldn't meet anyone. Look at the difference in attitudes shown there.

Your time is much better spent learning from your friends who you say are successful with women.

Writing topic after topic on here is frankly a waste of your time.

Your assumptions about a lot of women aren't all that inaccurate, contrary to what some on here like to profess, but you need to adapt to that.

The world is what it is and it isn't changing in your or my lifetime.

Also, don't start a facebook page just because others tell you! What a ridiculous thing for people on here to try and force someone to do. Are some of these people still 17?!?!?

October 31, 2015

I think I've seen you writing on here many times before under many different user names.

Honestly, I can feel your frustrations but this message board really isn't that helpful to struggling men. As you can see from the hostility you're receiving.

There was a discussion topic started by a woman the other day who was complaining about receiving 60 something messages in 2 days and how she couldn't meet anyone. Look at the difference in attitudes shown there.

Your time is much better spent learning from your friends who you say are successful with women.

Writing topic after topic on here is frankly a waste of your time.

Your assumptions about a lot of women aren't all that inaccurate, contrary to what some on here like to profess, but you need to adapt to that.
The world is what it is and it isn't changing in your or my lifetime.

Also, don't start a facebook page just because others tell you! What a ridiculous thing for people on here to try and force someone to do. Are some of these people still 17?!?!?

I've tried to learn from my friends but they don't really do anything except just having women who are very interested in them from the beginning

My best friend, the guy on the right in the picture was approached at a bar by his current gf. The only women who EVER show me any interest are overweight and/or 25 years older than me. His gf approached him and she's in awesome shape.

October 31, 2015

I didn't look at any of the photos but even if your friend's dream women approach him, there's still something to be learned from such a guy. You may never see his level of success but even a fraction of it would be ok I reckon.

October 31, 2015

I didn't look at any of the photos but even if your friend's dream women approach him, there's still something to be learned from such a guy. You may never see his level of success but even a fraction of it would be ok I reckon.

I can learn a lot from a guy who is my exact mirror in personality and hobbies?

He's on right, I'm on left

http://s27.postimg.org/v143c26j7/IMG_0948.png

October 31, 2015

There was a discussion topic started by a woman the other day who was complaining about receiving 60 something messages in 2 days and how she couldn't meet anyone. Look at the difference in attitudes shown there.

Well to be fair, I think most guys would rather have that problem vs being ignored by most women online.

October 31, 2015

Also, don't start a facebook page just because others tell you! What a ridiculous thing for people on here to try and force someone to do. Are some of these people still 17?!?!?

If the Op wants to use tinder, then it's hardly a huge deal to spend 10 minutes creating an empty Facebook account is it. How much time has he spent on this thread?

And as to hostility, it's because no matter what anyone suggests on this and all his other threads using this name or another, he always has the answer. It gets pretty old afterwards when you realise he isn't really looking for help

October 31, 2015

And as to hostility, it's because no matter what anyone suggests on this and all his other threads using this name or another, he always has the answer. It gets pretty old afterwards when you realise he isn't really looking for help

I want a solution to this problem so badly it kills me. I hate being permanently single. I just want to end it so I can spend my time worrying about far more productive things

If you want me to be honest, I would LOVE to be gay so I could stop worrying about this nonsense and focus on productive things (I would have a million dating options in a heartbeat if I was gay)

October 31, 2015

I have to say one thing that does help quite a bit is being completely outcome independant. I'm working on doing that all the time and I believe that will help me tremendously

October 31, 2015

People tend to think I'm either Spanish, Greek, Italian and a few think I'm Arab. The Arab is not as common because Americans are not used to seeing very Westernized Arabs. I'm technically Armenian which is like half Arab half European.

Jesus, come to L.A. You will fit right in.

October 31, 2015

I've tried to learn from my friends but they don't really do anything except just having women who are very interested in them from the beginning

My best friend, the guy on the right in the picture was approached at a bar by his current gf. The only women who EVER show me any interest are overweight and/or 25 years older than me. His gf approached him and she's in awesome shape.

So only overweight and older woman show interest in RL ... Same online or no one at all ... OP ... You are handsome ...very ethnic looking but nonetheless handsome/nice features ...your cheeks are very full and you've mentioned you want a chiseled look ... But ...When you're older you'll be thankful for the extra fat because you'll keep a youthful look longer as you have extra fat to lose ...no sunken cheeks for you

It is true that your look will only appeal to a certain percentage of woman. So that's part of the issue. However ...it's interesting you only post a face pic here ... You know what they say about people who post only face pics right? Maybe you are overweight ... if you are and you want a really in shape beautiful girl ... You have to change you. You've mentioned that you want to get in better shape ....even with your 56" shoulders ... I just don't see how bulking up like the guys whose pix you posted is going to overcome the issue of parts of your personality ... You truly do feel entitled to have a girl who looks like the ones in the pix you posted ... But your dating market value isn't pulling these types so you must adjust your expectations or adjust you ... You say you just want a loving relationship but I think you want it all and think you're deserving of it all ... adjust expectations ... You are who you are. I think a large dose of humility is the best medicine for what ails you.

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