top 5 things that make you consider dropping a woman

[empresario]

1. I am also good on intuition. I sense stuff, even though I don't always know where they come from. I sense when men hide stuff - and surprise surprise, some time later, the truth comes out. Well, truth always comes out. I really hate to be wasting my time.

 

2.being expressive of their emotions is one thing. Not showing their true emotions or hiding that they are falling out - not talking about what bothers them - that's really bad, in my book. I have broken up with men over that. It's impossible to build a RS with someone who doesn't speak about their emotions - good or bad.

 

3. I understand that people with no hobbies are / can be offputting. But people with no special talents... like... she must be the best at something? Isn't that a bit... demanding? What if what she's good at isn't cool enough..?

 

4. I understand your point about taking care of yourself. People who don't take care of themselves can't take care of others - I want a dependable partner.

 

5. yeah, if there's no chemistry in bed, it's doomed anyway. Some people won't even bother trying...

 

 

 

1. Agreed. People don't give enough credit to their gut. And if you don't listen to your gut you do crazy things. If you do crazy things, the relationship will end anyways.

 

 

2. Yeah I think we mean the same thing.

 

 

3. They don't have to be the best. But they do have to have some sort of talent I respect. That's just a personal preference. I am good at a lot of things. Nearly everything I've tried...from acting and writing to science and math...and even as a business owner where I get to do them all. As someone in my 20s I feel like I've lived a fairly full life thus far. I want someone that pushes me to be even better and have even more grand experiences. To do that she has to be good at something or contribute to my own search for self-improvement. Maybe that's more clear. Netflix and the couch is not enough for me.

 

 

4. Agreed.

 

 

5. I can deal with no chemistry in bed for a while. But I've learned eventually I just want more. No matter how compatible we are in other ways.

[Httm]

As the OP pointed out, most people are listing dealbreakers. Once a relationship has launched, you should be on the obvious dealbreaker phase.

 

Reasons I have ended a relationship:

 

1. One person grows and one person is content to remain stagnant. Perhaps this happened because people grow and change in different ways in their teens and twenties.

 

2. More and more issues of theirs start popping up that were hidden at first. Issues about their past that they refuse to open up about. Hangups. Odd behaviors/quirks that didn't show at first.

 

3. After the initial months when there is a ton to talk about, they fall back to being themselves and are content not to put effort into conversation and become very quiet. In one of my relationships, I realized during a long car ride, that my partner who had been initially very talkative, had almost no conversation to contribute...and was content with that!

 

4/5. This is nothing that I have experienced yet, but if one person puts on weight and becomes unhealthy, while the other puts effort into staying in shape, this can become a big issue.

 

I've been lucky not to experience this in the past but if one person's sex drive changes, this could cause problems.

[candie13]

1. Agreed. People don't give enough credit to their gut. And if you don't listen to your gut you do crazy things. If you do crazy things, the relationship will end anyways.

 

 

2. Yeah I think we mean the same thing.

 

 

3. They don't have to be the best. But they do have to have some sort of talent I respect. That's just a personal preference. I am good at a lot of things. Nearly everything I've tried...from acting and writing to science and math...and even as a business owner where I get to do them all. As someone in my 20s I feel like I've lived a fairly full life thus far. I want someone that pushes me to be even better and have even more grand experiences. To do that she has to be good at something or contribute to my own search for self-improvement. Maybe that's more clear. Netflix and the couch is not enough for me.

 

 

4. Agreed.

 

 

5. I can deal with no chemistry in bed for a while. But I've learned eventually I just want more. No matter how compatible we are in other ways.

being picky always pays off, on the long run. Always.

 

number 5 isn't even debateable, in my book. I had the misfortune to date briefly a guy who was suffering from mild ED - I liked him. We never really talked about what was going on, but I had felt him withdrawing more and more. One day he came to my place and gave me the "I don't think I ever want children" speech. It was a cop out, in my book, but I never challenged him on that.

 

I do think we are much more primal and instinctual creatures than we like to admit. If sex is mind blowing, both partners are more likely to put in some effort to keep the RS going, however bad things might go...

[JustGettingBy]

1. Passive aggressive, silent treatment or other "I have to win, not compromise" attitude towards conflict

 

2. Not giving me time to myself or with my friends

 

3. Constant bailing or very late a lot

 

4. Crazy accusations with no base

 

5. Gold digging

[Versacehottie]

 

I'm trying to test my theory - men will get bored of a normal woman not keeping them on their toes / keeping things "exciting" !

 

I agree with the theory. Especially at the beginning a guy needs to be kept on his toes to generate interest and a bond; then I think once they are sure you're it, a girl can be normal nice and they appreciate it greatly. But if you do the reverse order (nice/normal first and then try to keep them on their toes) it's not usually as successful.

 

Guys? BTW, impressed with the lists thus far. Who knew the guys of love shack have souls

[deadelvis]

people who are defensive. makes communication impossible.

[kilgore]

I agree with the theory. Especially at the beginning a guy needs to be kept on his toes to generate interest and a bond; then I think once they are sure you're it, a girl can be normal nice and they appreciate it greatly. But if you do the reverse order (nice/normal first and then try to keep them on their toes) it's not usually as successful.

 

Guys? BTW, impressed with the lists thus far. Who knew the guys of love shack have souls

 

I probably have a soul. I'll check

[Httm]

I agree with the theory. Especially at the beginning a guy needs to be kept on his toes to generate interest and a bond; then I think once they are sure you're it, a girl can be normal nice and they appreciate it greatly. But if you do the reverse order (nice/normal first and then try to keep them on their toes) it's not usually as successful.

 

Guys? BTW, impressed with the lists thus far. Who knew the guys of love shack have souls

 

I disagree 100%. It is a ridiculous theory. It might apply to lowlives though.

[candie13]

I probably have a soul. I'll check

 

Picture or it never happened! Scan rays even better !

[candie13]

I disagree 100%. It is a ridiculous theory. It might apply to lowlives though.

 

I'm conflicted about it. I am a firm believer that games and manipulation don't work on the long run. However... Beginnings are tough... so I Wonder if a bit of tough love won't work!

[Versacehottie]

I disagree 100%. It is a ridiculous theory. It might apply to lowlives though.

 

LOL, okaaaaaayyyy.

 

That's one mark for the ladies of loveshack (well at least you and me, candie) having no souls.

[candie13]

LOL, okaaaaaayyyy.

 

That's one mark for the ladies of loveshack (well at least you and me, candie) having no souls.

 

Hey, I have a soul!!! I just hide it really well under all that foundation!

[boltam]

I agree with the theory. Especially at the beginning a guy needs to be kept on his toes to generate interest and a bond

 

It's not a theory.

 

The guy is handsome, polite, well mannered, generous, compassionate. A real "go getter". He wins her over, they get married.

 

Then suddenly he's a lazy video gaming beer bellied loser who can't get off the couch to mow the lawn let alone give his wife some affection.

 

Happens all the time.

[Versacehottie]

It's not a theory.

 

The guy is handsome, polite, well mannered, generous, compassionate. A real "go getter". He wins her over, they get married.

 

Then suddenly he's a lazy video gaming beer bellied loser who can't get off the couch to mow the lawn let alone give his wife some affection.

 

Happens all the time.

 

Huh? Her theory (which I seconded) is about a guy having interest. Not how the story possibly ends up.

 

That's your theory about what happens after they are both interested in each other sometimes, which isn't a theory but a possibility. And for the record, I agree with your possibility.

[boltam]

Huh? Her theory (which I seconded) is about a guy having interest. Not how the story possibly ends up.

 

That's your theory about what happens after they are both interested in each other sometimes, which isn't a theory but a possibility. And for the record, I agree with your possibility.

 

Right I had it backwards sorry

[empresario]

Huh? Her theory (which I seconded) is about a guy having interest. Not how the story possibly ends up.

 

That's your theory about what happens after they are both interested in each other sometimes, which isn't a theory but a possibility. And for the record, I agree with your possibility.

 

It's called the slippery slope fallacy. He is trying to say if you work to keep your man happy then the world will end in nuclear fallout.

[boltam]

So she wins him over, they get married, she turns off the sex like a spigot and starts packing on the weight like there's no tomorrow.

[Versacehottie]

So she wins him over, they get married, she turns off the sex like a spigot and starts packing on the weight like there's no tomorrow.

 

LOL, I think OP is proposing a theory about generating or holding interest of a guy at the relative beginning of dating.

 

So let me get this right about YOUR theory: you believe that once a woman has won her guy's interest to the point that they agree to marry, she had dark intentions all along and will essentially stop the things that won his attention??

 

So your theory presumes that a woman stays thin and has sex just for her guy, huh? Okkaaaaay

[deadelvis]

So she wins him over, they get married, she turns off the sex like a spigot and starts packing on the weight like there's no tomorrow.

 

True story

[TheBathWater]

assuming things go relatively well, what would be the top 5 things that would make go mhmm up to considering dumping her?

 

cheers

 

In no particular order....

 

1. Boundary violations (e.g. physical or emotional cheating)

2. Substance abuse/addictions

3. No quality of character, career goals, personal goals, ethics, etc...

4. Poor physical maintenance or totally lets herself go

5. Poor communication skills

[Woggle]

1.Cheating

2.If she starts finding fault in every little thing I do. That is the first stage in love turning into contempt

3.If she starts developing a misandrist and anti-male attitude.

4.Hard drug abuse. A little weed here and there is okay and excessive drinking is a no no

5.Violence.

[Hopeful30]

I know you asked about women but i would like to contribute about men.

 

First one might surprise you, bu I dont want a man who thinks men and women should be treated exactly the same. As much as I want us to be comfortable around each other, I want a man who also sees the lady I an, thus having the courtesy to hold in his farts (or at least silence them) and not pick his nose while im eating. What can I say, Im old-fashioned

 

Two, kids.

 

Three, bad sex.

 

Four, emotional issues.

 

Five, hes not cool about me being a regular toker. Sorry boys, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

[kilgore]

I know you asked about women but i would like to contribute about men.

 

First one might surprise you, bu I dont want a man who thinks men and women should be treated exactly the same. As much as I want us to be comfortable around each other, I want a man who also sees the lady I an, thus having the courtesy to hold in his farts (or at least silence them) and not pick his nose while im eating. What can I say, Im old-fashioned

 

Two, kids.

 

Three, bad sex.

 

Four, emotional issues.

 

Five, hes not cool about me being a regular toker. Sorry boys, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

One, two and five are deal breakers? Wow

[Hopeful30]

One, two and five are deal breakers? Wow

 

I am how I am

[kilgore]

I am how I am

 

So a stray fart and a toddler and you're out?