Author lostgirl5 Posted October 30, 2015 Author Posted October 30, 2015 I talked to my mom she's my voice of reason. She explained to me that this girl does not get special treatment everywhere she goes and there are some men who don't find her attractive. Also wherever I go people stare at me even when I don't realize it. One thing I forgot to mention is I am a bit shy so when people look at me I look away or if I catch them staring I give them a dirty look to make them feel as uncomfortable as they made me feel. This could be off putting. I can't think of a single person I want to trade faces with. I've been sick so my face is swollen and I'm frustrated that I am not as fit as I could be. I doubt this girl was actually prettier than me. My mom and bf both explained that this girl fits a european standard of beauty and other white people find her attractive. I am more exotic and while many people find me stunning my look isn't for everyone. I do notice people who are the same race are extra friendly towards me. My mom said if I love him I should get over it and stop being a brat. Hopefully I can patch things up and we can move forward.
MovingOnIsHard Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I talked to my mom she's my voice of reason. She explained to me that this girl does not get special treatment everywhere she goes and there are some men who don't find her attractive. Also wherever I go people stare at me even when I don't realize it. One thing I forgot to mention is I am a bit shy so when people look at me I look away or if I catch them staring I give them a dirty look to make them feel as uncomfortable as they made me feel. This could be off putting. I can't think of a single person I want to trade faces with. I've been sick so my face is swollen and I'm frustrated that I am not as fit as I could be. I doubt this girl was actually prettier than me. My mom and bf both explained that this girl fits a european standard of beauty and other white people find her attractive. I am more exotic and while many people find me stunning my look isn't for everyone. I do notice people who are the same race are extra friendly towards me. My mom said if I love him I should get over it and stop being a brat. Hopefully I can patch things up and we can move forward. Yeah you are really being a brat for obsessing too much over this. Even if you were a 10, if you are this obsesses with how you look you'd be down to a 1. Big turn off! And a lot of guys I know would think the same. I dont know how old you are but perhaps you or your mom can take you to a therapist to work out your insecurities and warped self-esteem. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 Yeah you are really being a brat for obsessing too much over this. Even if you were a 10, if you are this obsesses with how you look you'd be down to a 1. Big turn off! And a lot of guys I know would think the same. I dont know how old you are but perhaps you or your mom can take you to a therapist to work out your insecurities and warped self-esteem. Agreed. OP, your level of distress in proportion to the comment is the bigger problem here. You have given this girl (who you don't even know) who went on three dates with your boyfriend so much power that your you're questioning your entire relationship. That isn't reasonable. You've clearly grilled your boyfriend about her - looks, standard of beauty, personality. But really this whole problem isn't about her at all. It's about you. It touched a sore spot and triggered your insecurity, and that is worth investigating. Do you mind if I ask how old you are, and whether you've had much previous relationhsip experience? I ask not to be snarky but to assure you that this focus on looks and your very obvious low self-esteem can still be turned around and will probably improve with age. You will likely become more self-assured and secures in your own skin and in relationships as time passes, if you address it the right way now. You need to give your boyfriend a break or he will not stick around.
startinganew777 Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 You are acting like a spoiled little brat and honestly, I wouldn't be worried about your looks at all. More like your personality. Whew! Who cares if she was better looking than you?! He is with you, not her! If you keep acting like this, it is only going to push him away and right into her arms. Or someone else's. I feel sorry for him and any friends that you have because for someone with such a low self esteem, you sure do act like you are better or better looking than any other woman out there. I wouldn't be able to stand someone that acted like that. You are not the hottest girl in the world nor will you ever be. Snap back to reality. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is just the way it is. While some may think I am pretty, others may just think I am average, it is just the way it is. But guess what, my boyfriend never goes a day without telling me how sexy and beautiful I am and he makes me feel on top of the world and that is all that matters. You should tell your boyfriend thanks when he compliments you and be thankful that he does.
Httm Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 I'm upset bc he always tells me I'm the hottest girl he's ever dated. I feel like he lied to me or mislead me. He said in a scale from 1-10 she was an 8 and I'm a 8.5 and I could be a 9 if I toned up a little I'm naturally thin but I'm not super fit/toned. I still feel like he's just saying that to make me feel better. inoverheard his best friend telling him he should be nice to me bc I'm gorgeous and he is jealous that he will never date a girl as hot as me. Both of them put me on a pedestal that's why it is so hard to hear it's possible I'm not the best looking. He says I am but idk if he's just lying to me. I love him and I want to be everything to him feeling like he just told me things I wanted to hear hurts. You have major, major issues. Seek professional help. The people responding in this thread are not helping. This is an absolutely preposterous thread and you keep it going, only feeding the OP and the same attention seeking behavior/ego that is her problem to begin with. 1
Versacehottie Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) I talked to my mom she's my voice of reason. She explained to me that this girl does not get special treatment everywhere she goes and there are some men who don't find her attractive. Also wherever I go people stare at me even when I don't realize it. One thing I forgot to mention is I am a bit shy so when people look at me I look away or if I catch them staring I give them a dirty look to make them feel as uncomfortable as they made me feel. This could be off putting. I can't think of a single person I want to trade faces with. I've been sick so my face is swollen and I'm frustrated that I am not as fit as I could be. I doubt this girl was actually prettier than me. My mom and bf both explained that this girl fits a european standard of beauty and other white people find her attractive. I am more exotic and while many people find me stunning my look isn't for everyone. I do notice people who are the same race are extra friendly towards me. My mom said if I love him I should get over it and stop being a brat. Hopefully I can patch things up and we can move forward. Huh? That's what you took from your mom's message or that's what message she gave?? That's f*cked up! One part she got right: you need to get over it and stop being a brat. The thought that you would break up with a guy who treats you well is stupid. Your mom and/or your interpretation of what she she said got everything else WRONG. It does no good to inflate your ego more and convince you that you STILL MUST BE the prettiest and there MUST BE a mistake that this other girl was treated well. Yeah, she is not everyone's cup of tea and neither would you be!!!! How did you miss the most important part of the message?!!??? Or maybe you are messed up from your mom feeding you this b.s. It's so ridiculous. I could put you in a room right now and some guys (or girls) are not going to pick you as the prettiest. Try to get some substance. You won't be pretty forever and not all guys are so shallow. It will get you in the door but it won't keep you there. Your boyfriend may be with you JUST for your looks--how sad is that? Not a good marriage does it make. BTW, I think you didn't like it when your friend said she only hangs out with hot girls because it lumped you in with everyone else and you need a superlative to feel ok about yourself. That's also stupid. Open your eyes. If you hang out with good looking people, you will see that some nights you are the one the guys flock to and other nights it's one of your friends. I still think the 3 dates girl had more personality and sufficiently pretty to get that treatment. It doesn't happen to you and you are stunning. So you must have a personality problem aka NO HALO. The halo is baseline good looks coupled with charisma. If you've ever been around a real movie star, a lot of them have it. Then there are much more gorgeous actors and actresses who do not have the charisma. But feature for feature they are prettier but it gets them nowhere. Wake up. Edited October 31, 2015 by Versacehottie 1
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 Huh? That's what you took from your mom's message or that's what message she gave?? That's f*cked up! One part she got right: you need to get over it and stop being a brat. The thought that you would break up with a guy who treats you well is stupid. Your mom and/or your interpretation of what she she said got everything else WRONG. It does no good to inflate your ego more and convince you that you STILL MUST BE the prettiest and there MUST BE a mistake that this other girl was treated well. Yeah, she is not everyone's cup of tea and neither would you be!!!! How did you miss the most important part of the message?!!??? Or maybe you are messed up from your mom feeding you this b.s. It's so ridiculous. I could put you in a room right now and some guys (or girls) are not going to pick you as the prettiest. Try to get some substance. You won't be pretty forever and not all guys are so shallow. It will get you in the door but it won't keep you there. Your boyfriend may be with you JUST for your looks--how sad is that? Not a good marriage does it make. BTW, I think you didn't like it when your friend said she only hangs out with hot girls because it lumped you in with everyone else and you need a superlative to feel ok about yourself. That's also stupid. Open your eyes. If you hang out with good looking people, you will see that some nights you are the one the guys flock to and other nights it's one of your friends. I still think the 3 dates girl had more personality and sufficiently pretty to get that treatment. It doesn't happen to you and you are stunning. So you must have a personality problem aka NO HALO. The halo is baseline good looks coupled with charisma. If you've ever been around a real movie star, a lot of them have it. Then there are much more gorgeous actors and actresses who do not have the charisma. But feature for feature they are prettier but it gets them nowhere. Wake up. It's funny how people in this thread think they know me or how my mind operates. I was disgusted by her Twitter post bc I am nice to whoever is nice to me. Saying you are only friends with hot girls is stupid. I have unattractive friends who are great people so she is missing out on people who could be really nice just bc she is superficial. I understand some guys find my friends more attractive than me it doesn't bother me bc I think those guys have poor judgement. My bf said this girl didn't have a glowing personality people were soely nice to her based on looks she was probably confident. people say I'm unapproachable bc I'm not warm and friendly I'm an introvert and I don't like having people start at me all the time it makes me feel awkward. I can't even buy groceries without people staring me down. My body language shows them I want to be left alone. My bf absolutely adores my personality and looks. He explained that he prefers the way I look but some people prefer the way she looks. Those people have bad taste. I will leave it at that and just move on.
joseb Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) . He explained that he prefers the way I look but some people prefer the way she looks. Those people have bad taste. I will leave it at that and just move on. I almost choked on my couscous when I read this Bad taste? op you're funny. I think ill use that line from now on.... "hey Want to go out with me, or do you have bad taste? " Lol Edited October 31, 2015 by joseb 6
h0000 Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 I understand some guys find my friends more attractive than me it doesn't bother me bc I think those guys have poor judgement. My bf absolutely adores my personality and looks. He explained that he prefers the way I look but some people prefer the way she looks. Those people have bad taste. I will leave it at that and just move on. Now I understand why OP, the hottest girl on earth, is not in any movies or walking any fashion shows or won any beauty pageants. It's because all the producers, directors, star scouts(basically all important people/decision makers) have bad tastes.:lmao::lmao::lmao: 3
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 Now I understand why OP, the hottest girl on earth, is not in any movies or walking any fashion shows or won any beauty pageants. It's because all the producers, directors, star scouts(basically all important people/decision makers) have bad tastes.:lmao::lmao::lmao: Women in those professions aren't always the best looking I have seen plenty of local girls who are prettier than some actresses so let's not go there. I'm sure you are the picture of beauty. All of you who are talking **** are absolutely stunning.
Lois_Griffin Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Who said she was prettier? He didn't say she was prettier. I'm sure people only did things for her because of her personality. I pride myself on being intelligent, funny, and talented. I understand looks aren't everything. He stopped seeing her she wasn't even his gf bc her personality sucked. You've totally contradicted yourself. One minute you're saying everyone was giving her things because of her personality, then you turn around and claim your boyfriend quit dating her because her personality sucked. So which is it?
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 31, 2015 Author Posted October 31, 2015 You've totally contradicted yourself. One minute you're saying everyone was giving her things because of her personality, then you turn around and claim your boyfriend quit dating her because her personality sucked. So which is it? If you are going to comment on a thread you need to read it throughly. He likes that I am cold towards strangers. He thinks it's hot that people stare at me but are intimidated by me. He's told me this several times even before the comment he mad about this girl. I have a dark sense of humor. I can be bitchy and bratty at times but he loves it. If you had common sense you would realize not all personalities suit everyone the same goes for looks.
Lansing Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Wow, just wow. I wasn't going to pile on after reading so many people say thr same thing I was thinking. It then you said that people who find your friends more attractive than you have "bad taste"! Really?? Definitely comes across in this thread that you are placing WAY too much value in looks. You should really think about why you are having a breakdown over one comment. If a girl freaked out as much as you are and kept asking me about a girl I went on 3 dates with it would be a huge red flag for me. So, to answer your question: Yes, you overreacted and still are.
phineas Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 Whats going on in this hear thread? OP either has issues or you are all posting in a role bread.
losangelena Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 If you are going to comment on a thread you need to read it throughly. He likes that I am cold towards strangers. He thinks it's hot that people stare at me but are intimidated by me. He's told me this several times even before the comment he mad about this girl. I have a dark sense of humor. I can be bitchy and bratty at times but he loves it. If you had common sense you would realize not all personalities suit everyone the same goes for looks. I don't know what you're so worried about. Y'all sound perfect for each other.
Versacehottie Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 I almost choked on my couscous when I read this Bad taste? op you're funny. I think ill use that line from now on.... "hey Want to go out with me, or do you have bad taste? " Lol OP, you are exposing your personality enough here for people to assume some things. Like this comment about "bad taste". Post a picture of yourself. I don't think you get it. Simple-minded--all the pretty in the world won't make up for certain things and so far you are proving that you have the negatives that make you that person. THAT'S why you don't get special treatment. Try connecting with people and living in the real world. I feel like you think you are hearing this from people who are jealous cause they are not at your level of prettiest-ness. Wrong again. Most people are just smart enough to know that your arguments about this subject are so completely ridiculous and you are messed up in the head about this subject. Sincerely good luck; you will need it.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 31, 2015 Posted October 31, 2015 I don't know what you're so worried about. Y'all sound perfect for each other. Exactly. This is why I don't understand OP's tremendous level of anxiety and insecurity about this.
kendahke Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 lostgirl, do you have any female friends who are close to you? Who are your friends? What kinds of people are they?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 there are a lot of misconceptions in this thread where did I mention that I dislike other pretty girls or have a problem being friends with them? Most of my friends are pretty a couple are prettier than me. Honestly I feel like some of them only want to be my friend bc of my looks. One of my friends posted on her twitter that she is only friends with hot girls. That rubbed me the wrong way. I felt annoyed bc he's always telling me I'm the hottest girls he's ever dated and he always wants to show me off to everyone he knows so I thought he thought the world of me. The comment me made just made it seem like he was being disingenuous. When I said I thought I was the hottest girl you dated he said I don't count her as someone I dated. Then he later went on to say she was attractive but not quite as attractive as I am. I guess I shouldn't be upset over this in a way I am treated special bc of my looks most people don't have strangers (men and women) walk up to them while they are out running errands to tell them they are pretty. Sometimes I wish people wouldn't stare at me it makes me very uncomfortable. At the same time it was hurtful to hear him say she was treated better bc of her looks. I will try to get over it but I just don't know how. Hey, just remember, no matter what so many envious souls might say, you ARE allowed to have and express such realistic feelings and observations. Most of us just can't *know* what its like to be in your shoes, and you 'suffer' additionally because so relatively few complain about your occasional interactions brought on because of your beauty. So that means that fewer are equipped to motivate/inspire/talk you through and past the unique experiences you've known. (perhaps as much as for so seldom having heard that stated aloud very often as for so few others being able to actually relate...) As to the specifics of the issue which brought you here to this thread, I don't think that your looks vs. HER looks is necessarily a competition either stated or implied, based on what you describe. The truth is, your BF could have dated less striking girls all along, and then considerably noticed the difference only upon dating that specific past girlfriend (because of the perceived difference in her level of attractiveness from the GF's previous to her - and not necessarily being/seeming a reflection on your looks relative TO hers). What say... that first girl... caused him to realize (ahem, for better or for worse) that HE could date from a more attractive subset of female society... and then, maybe, all the girls he dated were significantly attractive, and you, despite your notable beauty, just didn't represent as pronounced a difference as when he dated that one girl long ago.
Elisabetta Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 No, it's not silly for you to be bothered by this comment. However, try to forget about it. It doesn't sound like he was trying to make you jealous or play games. He complimented you after telling you this story, which shows he cares about you. Remember this: you can't change your feelings, but you can change your thoughts, which will then affect your feelings. Also, it is so easy for us to compare ourselves to others. But you have to remind yourself there are so many beautiful women, and we are all beautiful in our own way. Not just for looks, either. Just remember your boyfriend chose you, and he even reassured you he thinks you are beautiful.
h0000 Posted November 1, 2015 Posted November 1, 2015 Hey, just remember, no matter what so many envious souls might say, you ARE allowed to have and express such realistic feelings and observations. . oh real? Have you seen where she said she's always the hottest girl and occasionally some girls are almost as pretty? And if people disagree on that they just have bad taste? And you call that realistic feelings and observations? 1
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