h0000 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 They know. It's pretty obvious by the way every guy in the world tries to get in their pants. I'm sure she is pretty but her problem is not that she knows she's pretty and be honest about it( we don't have a problem with that sheeeesh) her problem is she thinks she is the hottest and gets so jealous when her bf found other girls (his ex in this case)to be also attractive. Like she can't handle the fact that other girls are also pretty! Probably even prettier! THAT is what we have a problem with 1
losangelena Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Stay on topic guys, jesus. OP wants to know whether or not she overreacted to what her boyfriend said. This is not some big debate about whether or not she's good-looking. Sheesh. 1
mattelipstick Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Who said she was prettier? He didn't say she was prettier. I'm sure people only did things for her because of her personality. I pride myself on being intelligent, funny, and talented. I understand looks aren't everything. He stopped seeing her she wasn't even his gf bc her personality sucked. If you truly believed this, his comment wouldn't have bothered you one bit. 1
empresario Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Apparently you are a fool he likes me bc I am standoffish and I have a dark dry sense of humor he said he hated her sense of humor. I am probably more friendly than he is so if she was outgoing and friendly I can see how that would bother him. Anyway I am over this thread apparently most of you can't handle honesty. It's ok for a butterface to say she has a nice body or a nerd to say she's smart but when a pretty girl knows she's pretty that is unacceptable. Hello pot, I'm kettle. I wish you a lot of luck, I really do. You came here asking for advice, and that is what you received. You can choose what you'd like to do with this knowledge. I don't mean you any ill-will. It may be a side-bar, but I disagree that attractive women know when they are the most attractive because X, Y, or Z. In today's age, guys don't have to think you're that attractive to want to sleep with you (and I feel like when a woman calls you pretty it's some veiled insult half the time...from my dealings of only living with women since I was a pre-teen...I speak the language). The reality of the situation is, it doesn't matter if you're ugly, attractive, or somewhere in-between like most of us...if you are secure in yourself you won't care about the comment that was made. Whoever you are, just own it and you'll do fine. Stop putting so much emphasis on your looks and own who you are. Confidence is sexy on both sides of the table...and people can sniff out the difference between spoken confidence and true confidence. 2
J21 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Apparently you are a fool he likes me bc I am standoffish and I have a dark dry sense of humor he said he hated her sense of humor. I am probably more friendly than he is so if she was outgoing and friendly I can see how that would bother him. Anyway I am over this thread apparently most of you can't handle honesty. It's ok for a butterface to say she has a nice body or a nerd to say she's smart but when a pretty girl knows she's pretty that is unacceptable. I think you're the one that can't handle the honesty. 1
Versacehottie Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 They know. My GF had a company flying her to LA once a month to model for them. They would also fly her to different cities to meet her fans and sign autographs. That's how you know you're hot. Well under that theory OP is just ok. People stare at her but she doesn't get the "special" treatment that her bf's ex-gf gets. Plus that's a modeling JOB. I have several friends who are models. Some of them are hot; some of them have just great bone structure and are tall and skinny which is good for modeling and guys really don't pay that much attention to them compared to other girls. Some of my friends that are not models but gorgeous get the most guy attention thus safely would be labeled the hottest. The non-models don't necessarily have the model height or are not photogenic in the way models need to be. Honestly, I would never put down real modeling. It's not easy to be truly photogenic--even if you are gorgeous. And like a lot of people have been saying to the OP, the ones that get most guy attention are not just pretty they are flirty or outgoing and have a vibe that I doubt she has. To OP, "pretty" is subjective. Yes you can rank toward the top. But you will never get an entire group of people to agree that you are the hottest in the room. It shifts based on people's personal preferences which are all different. Some days you are NOT going to be the hottest in the room. For real. Some people factor in personality so they could objectively say you're pretty but still want nothing to do with you. Believing you are the hottest girl in the room always is going to be a sad fall from grace. You should work on being more than the hottest girl in the room which is in your mind anyway. I do think quite possibly your boyfriend was trying to tell you to be more friendly. I was halfway on your side--not that he did anything wrong only in that it would sting a little--but then you kept posting. You need to check yourself. 1
Maggie4 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 If I was a guy dating a girl who is NOT getting special treatment from strangers, I would stay away from the topic about how pretty girls get special treatment. 2
Versacehottie Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Apparently you are a fool he likes me bc I am standoffish and I have a dark dry sense of humor he said he hated her sense of humor. I am probably more friendly than he is so if she was outgoing and friendly I can see how that would bother him. Anyway I am over this thread apparently most of you can't handle honesty. It's ok for a butterface to say she has a nice body or a nerd to say she's smart but when a pretty girl knows she's pretty that is unacceptable. To me it's not that you think that you are pretty; it's that you are arrogant about it and also think it trumps all. When the issue between you and your bf is a clear indication that it doesn't trump all. His less pretty, less interesting ex-gf gets special treatment that is not extended to you AND he finds that impressive. Something which you cannot pull off even as the prettiest girl in the room. Think on that. 1
Versacehottie Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 ooops I also forgot to say that I think you find other pretty girls threatening which is not an attractive quality. You seemed to indicate that you were better than others because you are the prettiest girl in the room when the very content of your thread indicates that you are not getting special treatment. Guess who gets special treatment; the "best" one, in whichever quantifier they giver is deeming to be the measure of that., ie. you may or may not be the prettiest girl at the gym at that moment--still didn't matter to whoever was doling out the good treatment--they didn't give it to you. You might, just might, be over-elevating yourself. The givers might be giving out treatment based on their standards which you don't meet. sorry That's why the content of my first thread to you was to remind you that to someone you will not be the prettiest girl in the room so it's foolish to make that your value. In whichever category: prettiest, smartest, nerdiest, fittest, especially those categories which are more subjective and harder to quantify. 2
Omei Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 you haven't seen me so how would you know? Most of the time I am the most attractive girl in the room. With that said there have been times girls were equally pretty or almost as pretty. Things would prob be different if I lived in a different state but that is my reality. Lol most attractive girl in the room? Equally or almost as pretty? are you hearing yourself? This is all by your standard. Doesn't mean its going to be every guys standard while one guy might find you extremely attractive the next guy might find you very ugly. You wernt designed to attract everyone and trust me you don't this isnt jealousy speaking I have no clue what you look like its basic knowledge. 1
katiegrl Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) What do you want us to say, OP? Yes, your boyfriend is a big hairy a***ole. Better? You asked a question and we answered—we do think you're blowing things out of proportion. Don't get defensive because it's not what you want to hear. Taking constructive criticism in stride can reap a lot of benefits, so while it might not be easy to hear, maybe listen to what people are trying to tell you. Besides, YOU'RE the one who asked. Playing devil's advocate here.... I think the issue for the OP is not that she thinks she's prettier than the others, but that him announcing that he was treated better when he was out with these other women (due to their apparent beauty)... made her feel like she was slightly "less than" in HIS eyes. It was a somewhat insensitive thing to say, and it made her feel bad! It would make me feel bad too... and no NOT because I think I am more beautiful, but because his comment implies that HE may think these other women were more beautiful. To his credit though, he did clarify his comment by saying he felt the OP was more attractive than these other girls, but still. The comment was unnecessary, rather insensitive and made her feel bad, which is understandable IMO. Edited October 28, 2015 by katiegrl 1
h0000 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) Playing devil's advocate here.... I think the issue for the OP is not that she thinks she's prettier than the others, but that him announcing that he was treated better when he was out with these other women (due to their apparent beauty)... made her feel like she was slightly "less than" in HIS eyes. It was a somewhat insensitive thing to say, and it made her feel bad! It would make me feel bad too... and no NOT because I think I am more beautiful, but because his comment implies that HE may think these other women were more beautiful. To his credit though, he did clarify his comment by saying he felt the OP was more attractive than these other girls, but still. The comment was unnecessary, rather insensitive and made her feel bad, which is understandable IMO. Completely disagree. The guy's comment is on topic. He was merely stating a fact that attractive people get special treatment. He did not say OP is not attractive, certainly did not compare OP to his ex. I don't think most girls would have any problem and most girls would not feel "less in his eyes" just because their bfs also find other women attractive. Because the bfs will find other women attractive. its just a fact. It's only the OP that cannot stand other girl being more attractive because she thinks she is usually the hottest. It's her own issue that cause her to get upset. Edited October 28, 2015 by h0000 3
katiegrl Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Completely disagree. The guy's comment is on topic. He was merely stating a fact that attractive people get special treatment. He did not say OP is not attractive, certainly did not compare OP to his ex. I don't think most girls would have any problem and most girls would not feel "less in his eyes" just because their bfs also find other women attractive. It's only the OP that cannot stand other girl being more attractive because she thinks she is usually the hottest. It's her own issue that cause her to get upset. What do you mean his comment was "on topic." What topic? Not to mention that no it's not a fact that attractive people get special treatment. Yes many do, but not ALL. It was a dumb thing to say to your girlfriend IMO. Shows a lack of sensitivity and awareness. What was his point anyway? I mean seriously, what purpose did it serve to tell his girlfriend that he and his ex's got treated better when they went out than he does when he's out with her? Of course that made her feel bad...what a dumb thing to say, jeez In any event, I have my opinion, you have yours. Leave it at that.
h0000 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 What do you mean his comment was "on topic." What topic? Not to mention that no it's not a fact that attractive people get special treatment. Yes many do, but not ALL. It was a dumb thing to say to your girlfriend IMO. Shows a lack of sensitivity and awareness. What was his point anyway? I mean seriously, what purpose did it serve to tell his girlfriend that he and his ex's got treated better when they went out than he does when he's out with her? What a dumb thing to say, jeez In any event, I have my opinion, you have yours. Leave it at that. They were talking about the halo effect and how attractive people are treated better, so the bf used his ex to be an example and it wasn't even directing to OP at all. So it is "on topic" . What's wrong with that? If he starts saying other women are attractive to his gf out of nowhere then I would say it's insensitive and unnecessary but they were discussing this topic. (and maybe it's the OP who started this topic, who knows) And are you saying guys cannot express their opinions because girls will all just get upset ? Absurd. 2
katiegrl Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 They were talking about the halo effect and how attractive people are treated better, so the bf used his ex to be an example and it wasn't even directing to OP at all. So it is "on topic" . What's wrong with that? If he starts saying other women are attractive to his gf out of nowhere then I would say it's insensitive and unnecessary but they were discussing this topic. (and maybe it's the OP who started this topic, who knows) And are you saying guys cannot express their opinions because girls will all just get upset ? Absurd. Fair points, however I think it's one of those things similar to asking your boyfriend/husband "do you think I look fat"? If the guy is smart he will say no, you look beautiful! Even if he knows she's gained a few. For me personally, I like knowing the truth. But for many women, yes I do think they would rather he lie about it.... That said.... of course men will find other women attractive, maybe even more attractive.... but most women don't relish hearing about it, even if it IS "on topic." JMO. 1
Guyouthere Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 I have to say that there are many women out there who know they are generally prettier than many others, and they will often have an arrogance about them too. And if they do, it negates their outer beauty, and actually makes them look totally undesirable. Physical beauty attracts a man first, but the next thing we look at is what you have to offer besides that (at least that is how I am). 1
xcupid Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 "is it silly for me to be mad over this comment? " Yes! You are overreacting.
h0000 Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 That said.... of course men will find other women attractive, maybe even more attractive.... but most women don't relish hearing about it, even if it IS "on topic." JMO. Just want to point out the problem is not that "OP knows other women are attractive but just doesn't want to hear it from her bf" , but rather "OP thinks she is the most attractive and is annoyed that her bf dares to think other women are also attractive"... 6
kilgore Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Fair points, however I think it's one of those things similar to asking your boyfriend/husband "do you think I look fat"? If the guy is smart he will say no, you look beautiful! Even if he knows she's gained a few. For me personally, I like knowing the truth. But for many women, yes I do think they would rather he lie about it.... That said.... of course men will find other women attractive, maybe even more attractive.... but most women don't relish hearing about it, even if it IS "on topic." JMO. Good point. But really you would want your fiancé to say you look fat if that were the case?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 It's ok for a butterface to say she has a nice body or a nerd to say she's smart but when a pretty girl knows she's pretty that is unacceptable. Sadly, this really is how the court of internet judgment works. The only concern I have about your reality is the part where you insisted: "I've never had any special treatment." IF you are anywhere near to being as attractive as you imply, then your entire time on this planet has been "special treatment" (though I can understand how you might not know it, for not sensing/living the contrast --- though maybe you could watch Tyra Banks in a 'fat suit' and then hear how she saw the world during that experiment, for better understanding). In exchange for your special treatment, the rest of us (grant ourselves) the right to hold ever so long our glances in your direction.
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 30, 2015 Author Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) there are a lot of misconceptions in this thread where did I mention that I dislike other pretty girls or have a problem being friends with them? Most of my friends are pretty a couple are prettier than me. Honestly I feel like some of them only want to be my friend bc of my looks. One of my friends posted on her twitter that she is only friends with hot girls. That rubbed me the wrong way. I felt annoyed bc he's always telling me I'm the hottest girls he's ever dated and he always wants to show me off to everyone he knows so I thought he thought the world of me. The comment me made just made it seem like he was being disingenuous. When I said I thought I was the hottest girl you dated he said I don't count her as someone I dated. Then he later went on to say she was attractive but not quite as attractive as I am. I guess I shouldn't be upset over this in a way I am treated special bc of my looks most people don't have strangers (men and women) walk up to them while they are out running errands to tell them they are pretty. Sometimes I wish people wouldn't stare at me it makes me very uncomfortable. At the same time it was hurtful to hear him say she was treated better bc of her looks. I will try to get over it but I just don't know how. Edited October 30, 2015 by lostgirl5
kendahke Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 it was hurtful to hear him say she was treated better bc of her looks. Treated better by whom? Him? Or other people--strangers she'll never know in depth or will be included in her life? Why are you all exercised over how strangers treat her? I will try to get over it but I just don't know how. Build a bridge and keep walking til you get over it. Stop choosing to sit in the boiling water and stew. 1
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 30, 2015 Author Posted October 30, 2015 Treated better by whom? Him? Or other people--strangers she'll never know in depth or will be included in her life? Why are you all exercised over how strangers treat her? Build a bridge and keep walking til you get over it. Stop choosing to sit in the boiling water and stew. He said he went on 3 dates with her and she was treated better everywhere they went. The guy at the gym gave him extra passes bc she was there, they got seated faster at a restaurant, and they got to skip the line for a night club. I know he treats me better than any girl he spends more on me than he's ever spent on a girl. He didn't even like her personality. His friends say he talks about me all the time. I'm just pissed that his example of hot girls being treated better was about someone he dated before me.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 He said he went on 3 dates with her and she was treated better everywhere they went. The guy at the gym gave him extra passes bc she was there, they got seated faster at a restaurant, and they got to skip the line for a night club. I know he treats me better than any girl he spends more on me than he's ever spent on a girl. He didn't even like her personality. His friends say he talks about me all the time. I'm just pissed that his example of hot girls being treated better was about someone he dated before me. Just leave it at that - he is with you and thinks you're more attractive and likes you more. This is all very positive. I sincerely don't think he was trying to say this one random girl he went out with a couple times was more attractive than you. I feel you are blowing this out of proportion and it's not worth getting this upset over. I'm not sure what you expect him to say or do now to further re-assure you. Honest question, what do you want him to do from now on to avoid these situations? Also, I asked you earlier but you may not have seen my question - do you generally consider yourself secure or insecure with regards to your boyfriend's attraction to you?
kendahke Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 He said he went on 3 dates with her and she was treated better everywhere they went. by whom?: The guy at the gym gave him extra passes bc she was there, they got seated faster at a restaurant, and they got to skip the line for a night club. Strangers. Strangers. Strangers. People who don't matter to her. But again, if she has the charming personality that puts strangers at ease and is gracious and kind, then yeah, people are going to want to bask in her sunshine. No one wants to be rained on by a cold, ungracious person they don't know from a can of paint. I'm gracious and charming, too and strangers are nice to me as a result... and I'm a 55 yr old reasonably good looking black woman, not a perky blonde young chicky. I know he treats me better than any girl he spends more on me than he's ever spent on a girl. Then this is where this needs to stop. I'm just pissed that his example of hot girls being treated better was about someone he dated before me. Do you like the person you have to turn into to feed this jealousy and keep it alive long after its shelf-date? 2
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