lostgirl5 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 My bf and I were talking about the halo effect and how attractive people are treated better. He said he has witnessed it with a girl he dated. He said he only went out to three places with her he said at the gym the guy at the desk gave him extra guest passes bc she was there then he said they didn't have to wait in line at a club, and he said he noticed they got seated faster in a restaurant than when he was with less attractive girls. I am an attractive girl people stare at me and I've had strangers both men and women tell me I'm pretty. But I've never had any special treatment. He said he thinks I am more attractive than her. But I can't help but feel annoyed over him mentioning it.
joseb Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 is it silly for me to be mad over this comment? Yes 5
PegNosePete Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 (edited) He said he thinks I am more attractive than her. Yes, it is very silly for you to get mad over a compliment. Imagine punishing a dog for doing a trick correctly. The dog will soon learn NOT to do the trick correctly. If you get mad when he compliments you, he will stop complimenting you, and then you'll be on here complaining that he never compliments you. You need to address your self-esteem issues. They will destroy your relationship, and your future happiness. Edited October 27, 2015 by PegNosePete 7
h0000 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Yes it is silly. You are not the hottest girl in the world 4
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Yes it is silly. You are not the hottest girl in the world you haven't seen me so how would you know? Most of the time I am the most attractive girl in the room. With that said there have been times girls were equally pretty or almost as pretty. Things would prob be different if I lived in a different state but that is my reality.
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Yes, it is very silly for you to get mad over a compliment. Imagine punishing a dog for doing a trick correctly. The dog will soon learn NOT to do the trick correctly. If you get mad when he compliments you, he will stop complimenting you, and then you'll be on here complaining that he never compliments you. You need to address your self-esteem issues. They will destroy your relationship, and your future happiness. I'm annoyed because he said he notices when he is with an attractive girl he is treated better. But his examples were about another girl not me.
h0000 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 you haven't seen me so how would you know? Most of the time I am the most attractive girl in the room. With that said there have been times girls were equally pretty or almost as pretty. Things would prob be different if I lived in a different state but that is my reality. Because beauty is subjective and there will always be guys who don't think you are special whatsoever. And even your boyfriend will always find other girls also attractive. it's just a fact. Also because if you were the hottest wouldn't you think you would be in Hollywood making movies? 3
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Because beauty is subjective and there will always be guys who don't think you are special whatsoever. And even your boyfriend will always find other girls also attractive. it's just a fact. Also because if you were the hottest wouldn't you think you would be in Hollywood making movies? Hollywood actresses aren't the hottest girls in the world and I do use my looks to make money.
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Because beauty is subjective and there will always be guys who don't think you are special whatsoever. And even your boyfriend will always find other girls also attractive. it's just a fact. Also because if you were the hottest wouldn't you think you would be in Hollywood making movies? I've seen local girls who are better looking than Hollywood actresses.
kendahke Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 you haven't seen me so how would you know? Most of the time I am the most attractive girl in the room. With that said there have been times girls were equally pretty or almost as pretty. Things would prob be different if I lived in a different state but that is my reality. Attractiveness is gutted by a nasty disposition or one of entitlement just because you're attractive. 10
kendahke Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 This whole thread is silly! ^^^totally co-sign
goodyblue Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Well you sound very... young. The face of beauty is different to everyone's eyes. And I think you have a lot of growing up to do. 6
candie13 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 how do you use your looks to make money, OP ? It's not about looks, it's about attitude - some women simply know how to work their charm to get stuff. It's in their ADN. Do you also want to get other stuff easier ? Look flirty, dress more provocatively and smile wide at the bouncer when in line at a club. Works like a charm, everytime. Sure the eternal question is: you need that because.... why? Will that make you feel better about yourself? Will your bf like you/ appreciate you more ? Will you still be yourself? And where do you need that appreciation from? A person at a gym and some bouncers? Really? Is that it ?!? or you want them to be looking at you but you'd like it better if your bf was around to witness it? 4
empresario Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Not to fuel the fire...but I agree you have some self esteem issues you may want to address before you start dating. If you were the most attractive girl in the world, then you would be getting special treatment. You said you aren't. I can vouch for your date that more attractive people get more benefits. Not just women. So if you think you're attractive and mad you aren't getting special treatment...perhaps your demeanor contributes to your lack of outward attraction. A cute girl with a furrowed brow and grimace makes her ugly. As does a lack of confidence...which at some level you obviously have. I am a.millenial as well. Sometimes we have to fight our 'mom said I was special' attitudes. 5
ExpatInItaly Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Yes, it is silly. You know what is a heck of a lot more attractive than physical beauty? Security and confidence. Knowing you're beautiful inside and out, without needing confirmation of that from anyone else. When I was younger and insecure, your boyfriend's comment would've triggered an insecurity in me. Sounds like the same is happening to you. But as I've gotten older and realized beauty is subjective and that even boyfriends will find other women attractive too, comments like that would be taken as just that - commentary. They are not a measure of your attractiveness so you'd be best to chill out a bit. Are you generally not very secure, OP? 1
J21 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 You are not the hottest girl in the world you haven't seen me so how would you know? Most of the time I am the most attractive girl in the room. With that said there have been times girls were equally pretty or almost as pretty. Things would prob be different if I lived in a different state but that is my reality. OMG get over yourself!! 4
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 how do you use your looks to make money, OP ? It's not about looks, it's about attitude - some women simply know how to work their charm to get stuff. It's in their ADN. Do you also want to get other stuff easier ? Look flirty, dress more provocatively and smile wide at the bouncer when in line at a club. Works like a charm, everytime. Sure the eternal question is: you need that because.... why? Will that make you feel better about yourself? Will your bf like you/ appreciate you more ? Will you still be yourself? And where do you need that appreciation from? A person at a gym and some bouncers? Really? Is that it ?!? or you want them to be looking at you but you'd like it better if your bf was around to witness it? I don't need that stuff. Honestly if I wanted that I would just act more friendly. I'm pretty sure the reason people don't do nice things for me like that is bc I'm not really friendly. I'm a serious person and I don't trust strangers. I just thought it was annoying because he made it sound like he was treated like a god when he was out with her. Given they only went on 3 dates and only dated for a month. He said it doesn't matter to him and he likes that I'm cold towards strangers. But I just feel if he ever felt like strangers treated him better bc he was out with an attractive girl it should be bc of me.
kendahke Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I don't need that stuff. Honestly if I wanted that I would just act more friendly. I'm pretty sure the reason people don't do nice things for me like that is bc I'm not really friendly. I'm a serious person and I don't trust strangers. I just thought it was annoying because he made it sound like he was treated like a god when he was out with her. Given they only went on 3 dates and only dated for a month. He said it doesn't matter to him and he likes that I'm cold towards strangers. But I just feel if he ever felt like strangers treated him better bc he was out with an attractive girl it should be bc of me. He is entitled to his experiences which happened in his past when you weren't a part of his life. Seriously... that should have been met with "Oh really? That's interesting. What else is on Netflix? Should we order Chinese?" 4
Author lostgirl5 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Not to fuel the fire...but I agree you have some self esteem issues you may want to address before you start dating. If you were the most attractive girl in the world, then you would be getting special treatment. You said you aren't. I can vouch for your date that more attractive people get more benefits. Not just women. So if you think you're attractive and mad you aren't getting special treatment...perhaps your demeanor contributes to your lack of outward attraction. A cute girl with a furrowed brow and grimace makes her ugly. As does a lack of confidence...which at some level you obviously have. I am a.millenial as well. Sometimes we have to fight our 'mom said I was special' attitudes. Random people both men and women come up to me and tell me I'm pretty. Most people just stare at me. I've had people say I'm intimidating so it has more to do with my demeanor. There are average looking people who get special treatment bc they have outgoing personalities and they are very likable.
empresario Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Random people both men and women come up to me and tell me I'm pretty. Most people just stare at me. I've had people say I'm intimidating so it has more to do with my demeanor. There are average looking people who get special treatment bc they have outgoing personalities and they are very likable. Who are you trying to convince? Attraction is a full suite of attributes. A bad attitude is as detrimental as a bad haircut or no sense of smile (or bad makeup in a female's case). Maybe your boyfriend is subtely telling you that you could afford to be nicer in public? It's not trusting strangers nor becoming vulnerable...it's common courtesy. And after your 20s your personality is all you're going to have left most likely. Put more stock into it. 4
empresario Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 And the above may have come out wrong. What I meant by the last line, is even if you say you're the most attractive girl in any room...a pure 10/10...you won't be forever. So if you don't fix the rest of your self esteem you are going to just be another sour attitude in the crowd. 2
Carm Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 (edited) OP, you are obviously suffering from low self-esteem. Being beautiful is more than just your outward appearance but you clearly don't get that. Edited October 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
stillafool Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 you haven't seen me so how would you know? Most of the time I am the most attractive girl in the room. With that said there have been times girls were equally pretty or almost as pretty. Things would prob be different if I lived in a different state but that is my reality. Then why get mad because your boyfriends ex was prettier. Just be happy that you get attention too.
Recommended Posts