purpledooze Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 (edited) I just quit my job today. It was difficult for me working with my ex (he's one of the managers overseeing my work), but the reason I left was because I had finally found a better job. I sent a quick chat to my ex to let him know of my decision and to thank him for getting my foot in the door. We spoke for a while. A couple of days ago, someone had tried to hack into my Facebook (but failed) and I was able to trace it back to him. During our conversation, I confronted him about it. This is how the conversation sort of went: ME --- I just need to confirm something. Was it you? HIM --- Hmm? ME --- Was it you who tried to log into my Facebook? HIM --- Tried to log in? Hmmmm. ME--- But failed miserably... HIM --- Oh yea. I deleted your credentials from my browser. Hope you don't mind. ME --- I was surprised I had my username and password there still. Since last year? HIM --- I was trying to log into one of the FB pages I manage for work, but I was lazy so I opened a different browser and I saw that you were logged in. So I logged you out and deleted your creds. ME --- I can't be logged in another computer. I get text messages when another computer logs in. That time it was just my laptop and PC. HIM --- When I opened my browser, it showed your name and was asking for authentication. I logged you off. ME --- Nah. Can't be. The notification only comes up if someone entered my username and password MANUALLY into the login fields. In this case, it would have been typed or copy-pasted from the history. Soo... the intent to get in is there. HIM --- Oh wait, were you scared you were getting hacked? ME --- No, I'm not scared. I have security stuff in place. HIM --- I remember your password from when I deleted it from my browser. ME --- You know you're a really bad liar. HIM --- Sorry but I really wasn't trying to stalk you or anything if that's what you were thinking. ME --- It is what I'm thinking. Facebook gave me the IP. I traced it to what I know is YOUR ISP. Triangulates to your part of town. Access was on a Mac. Using Firefox. HIM --- Well, I did used to look you up online. You already know that. But not at all recently. ME --- Hmm okay. HIM --- Come to think of it, I haven't visited your FB for a while. Why don't I check it now.... Wow you posted a rant about the hacking thing. I'm sorry for the scare. ME --- Wait how are you seeing this? HIM --- I just opened your page. ME --- I deactivated my account this morning. You shouldn't be seeing that. HIM --- Wait what? What are you thinking? ME --- That you had my Facebook profile up all this time and you haven't refreshed it. HIM --- Look, I feel like you are telling me I'm stalking you. ME --- I know you are. HIM --- Well if it entertains you I don't mind. But I really wasn't. ME --- You are such a bad liar. Conversation carries on. I mean, I'm leaving so it might be the last time we ever speak. He's been supportive of my decision to have a clean break. He asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was "frightened as f*ck but that I'm excited for a new adventure." He told me: "You're brilliant, beautiful, and one of the smartest and most clever girls I know. Just bring that girl back. I'll be rooting for you." I'm still in love with him. But I'm not pining for him anymore and that's a good thing. I have bigger things to worry about right now. It just feels good to know if he still has feelings for me. Do you guys think he still does? That he's feigning indifference? P.S. The stalking thing doesn't creep me out. I keep tabs on close friends, family and ex's too. Although I'm starting to question why he attempted to log in in the first place, which is something I'll confront him about later. Or maybe never. Edited October 27, 2015 by purpledooze
carhill Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Hmm....how long broken up and are either of you dating other people? Usually there's a period of disconnection to resolve the emotional attachment but it sounds like you're still in the milieu. While chat content can be helpful, be careful of your privacy. I guess the Facebook thing was a good wake-up on that front. Perhaps worthwhile to do a cleanup of that portal and reset it. Personally, I'd focus on the new job and let this stuff settle out without further attention. Your ex is your ex and he'll do what he does and his feelings are unknown. Words he types, sure, they're on a page. He's back to being one of billions out there now. Onward. 1
Author purpledooze Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Hmm....how long broken up and are either of you dating other people? Usually there's a period of disconnection to resolve the emotional attachment but it sounds like you're still in the milieu. While chat content can be helpful, be careful of your privacy. I guess the Facebook thing was a good wake-up on that front. Perhaps worthwhile to do a cleanup of that portal and reset it. Personally, I'd focus on the new job and let this stuff settle out without further attention. Your ex is your ex and he'll do what he does and his feelings are unknown. Words he types, sure, they're on a page. He's back to being one of billions out there now. Onward. You're right. I'm not as hung up on him as I was months ago. We're broken up for about 7 months now. 1.5 months since last contact. I only had to break it now to let him know I was quitting our company. Since he was the one who got me in, I figured it was only polite if the news came from me first. I realized I love him for him. Not for what he could give me. If, somewhere down the road, we meet again and the time is right, and if we both want it, fine. If not, it's fine too. Right now, I find the idea of me finding someone new more exciting and appealing. And if I really did love him, I'd be happy with his decision to end things. Whether it seems selfish on his part. I'd expect the same if I was the dumper.
Glass Hut Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Honest opinion: Block and don't contact. Change your passwords too. So many fish in the sea.
Author purpledooze Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Honest opinion: Block and don't contact. Change your passwords too. So many fish in the sea. Changing passwords is kind of the first thing I did considering my IT skills. We were on no contact. We work together so blocking doesn't really help. The issue was that he tried to access my Facebook, which is still possible even if I blocked him. Plenty of fish in the sea, I know. What I'm trying to understand is his mindset.
Glass Hut Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I don't know. I went into a girl I liked Facebook account back before they had login tracking (luckily I stopped doing that before they showed you the login IPs). I did it because I was obsessed with her. This guy doesn't sound like I did when I talked to her. Maybe he's a sociopath lol.
Qboro90 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 You're trying to understand his mindset using a females brain and attached emotions. Not your fault. There's not much more to it other that he probably just got curious and had the ability to access it so he did. By the sound of it you don't seem to have had any over stepping boundary or privacy issues with him before so I wouldn't make too much of this. What I find more curious is the way you interacted and handled confronting him through that texting convo. If you do still have feelings for him/still love him and he's been a supportive guy for the most part and wishing you well... You definitely came off as very combative in that exchange. You could've flipped it around and said things like "if anyone's gonna stalk me I'd prefer it be you " and tease him about it. You sounded very angry and set on making a point to prove he was a creep. Just from a guy's perspective.
Author purpledooze Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 You're trying to understand his mindset using a females brain and attached emotions. Not your fault. There's not much more to it other that he probably just got curious and had the ability to access it so he did. By the sound of it you don't seem to have had any over stepping boundary or privacy issues with him before so I wouldn't make too much of this. What I find more curious is the way you interacted and handled confronting him through that texting convo. If you do still have feelings for him/still love him and he's been a supportive guy for the most part and wishing you well... You definitely came off as very combative in that exchange. You could've flipped it around and said things like "if anyone's gonna stalk me I'd prefer it be you " and tease him about it. You sounded very angry and set on making a point to prove he was a creep. Just from a guy's perspective. Ohhh. I hadn't considered that. I wasn't angry though. I should consider teasing him a bit. I know for a fact that he sometimes goes through his other ex's Facebook pages but not to the extent he'd want to log in.
Author purpledooze Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 I don't know. I went into a girl I liked Facebook account back before they had login tracking (luckily I stopped doing that before they showed you the login IPs). I did it because I was obsessed with her. This guy doesn't sound like I did when I talked to her. Maybe he's a sociopath lol. He used to go through my private blog before. But I haven't seen him log on it in months. He denies visiting my Facebook profile but he knew what my post was even though I had deactivated my account. I think he got kind of defensive.
Author purpledooze Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 I don't know. I went into a girl I liked Facebook account back before they had login tracking (luckily I stopped doing that before they showed you the login IPs). I did it because I was obsessed with her. This guy doesn't sound like I did when I talked to her. Maybe he's a sociopath lol. How did you sound? He kept denying he was looking at my profile. Though it was clear he had it open even though I deactivated hours before (meaning he's had it open for hours or he's read my status already and pretended to see).
Glass Hut Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 How did you sound? He kept denying he was looking at my profile. Though it was clear he had it open even though I deactivated hours before (meaning he's had it open for hours or he's read my status already and pretended to see). I sounded stupid and obviously head over heels, like always. Then I pushed her away.
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