7th date sex

[losangelena]

Not to change the subject or anything, but OP when is your date and what did you decide to do??

[fitnessfan365]

Why does it matter to you? If you are able to find women who will have sex with you in whatever manner and time frame you require, just get on with it. No need to keep having a go at people who choose a different path for themselves.

 

1) My post wasn't directed at you. That's why I quoted her.

 

2) I'm honestly curious. I've always wondered why some people believe that both can't be done at the same time. Just trying to get some perspective/reasoning on people that compartmentalize in dating.

[RoseWater]

Not to change the subject or anything, but OP when is your date and what did you decide to do??

 

Hey, the date is on Friday. I'm going to go. :bunny:

[fitnessfan365]

Nowhere in the thread have I stated that the majority of people wait until marriage before having sex. You really seem worked up and even confused now. Misreading my posts and all.

 

Was going off this :

 

I don't really understand the point of this question. Much of the world's population wait until they are in a committed relationship or even until they are married, before they have sex. .

[getsmartie]

Here's a question. Why can't both be done at the same time? It is possible to multi-task..LOL I've always wondered why some women compartmentalize in this way. Hell, some of the best conversations are during pillow talk.

 

I guess some people are worried that they'll be distracted by lust and overlook red flags? I'm sure it happens. But if you can plan great dates where you keep getting to know each other that end in the bedroom as well, a mix of both seems like it'd be the most ideal. Remember, not every guy w/ a sex drive disappears or is non monogamous.

 

 

 

It's simple to answer. I don't wait because I want to play games, I don't wait because I want the man to suffer. I wait for ME. I cannot sleep with someone I don't know. I want to have heart felt conversations with them prior to getting into bed. I want to feel safe (emotionally) with them. I want to know they want ME and not just my body.

 

 

Also, remember that famous porn 'Debbie does Dallas'....ya, well I don't want to be that girl (insert my name and city). If I slept with ALL the men I've dated (I'm 50 years old) then I would be that woman.

[RoseWater]

Was going off this :

 

well as you can see for yourself that doesn't say that the majority of the world's population abstain from sex until marriage. What gives? It says that globally people typically reserve sex for a committed relationship, some even waiting for marriage. You realise quite how many devout muslims there are in the world, right? Or not? Not to mention other religions where casual sex is frowned upon and not widely practised. Why is this such an issue for you?

[SwordofFlame]

We're in the US. I'm sure we would all have very different views if we were in a third world country.

[RoseWater]

It's simple to answer. I don't wait because I want to play games, I don't wait because I want the man to suffer. I wait for ME. I cannot sleep with someone I don't know. I want to have heart felt conversations with them prior to getting into bed. I want to feel safe (emotionally) with them. I want to know they want ME and not just my body.

 

 

Also, remember that famous porn 'Debbie does Dallas'....ya, well I don't want to be that girl (insert my name and city). If I slept with ALL the men I've dated (I'm 50 years old) then I would be that woman.

 

Agree with this!!! And my goodness I would not want to have slept with all the men I have dated. No way!

[darkbloom]

For all of those commenting about usually having sex on a third date, how did it go afterward? Was the girl more emotionally attached to you afterward? How did it work out?

 

I ask because I can't seperate physical from emotional. Im not able to just have sex and then maybe see each other for a month and then have it die. It matters to me. I'm very upfront and honest about this before I date a guy and almost all of them have been okay with waiting. Not to wait until marriage or for ever but until I feel like I want to stick it out long term with someone.

 

I may be in the minority though.

[Timshel]

Interesting thread. Curious, who picked Friday? Probably you Rosewater, yes?

[getsmartie]

Hey, the date is on Friday. I'm going to go. :bunny:

 

Have fun!

 

 

Also, just as an FYI we eventually lead to home dates (no sex). Things did get intense because you're obviously not in public and the chemistry was there. I just told him I don't rush into things from a physical standpoint....and he TOTALLY respected my feelings and told me he wasn't going anywhere and he wanted me to feel comfortable.

[RoseWater]

We're in the US. I'm sure we would all have very different views if we were in a third world country.

 

I'm not.

 

There is a world beyond the US.

Edited October 30, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[RoseWater]

Interesting thread. Curious, who picked Friday? Probably you Rosewater, yes?

 

No. It's when we both have some time. Why do you ask?

[RoseWater]

Have fun!

 

 

Also, just as an FYI we eventually lead to home dates (no sex). Things did get intense because you're obviously not in public and the chemistry was there. I just told him I don't rush into things from a physical standpoint....and he TOTALLY respected my feelings and told me he wasn't going anywhere and he wanted me to feel comfortable.

 

Nice!:bunny:

[kpl]

For all of those commenting about usually having sex on a third date, how did it go afterward? Was the girl more emotionally attached to you afterward? How did it work out?

 

I ask because I can't seperate physical from emotional. Im not able to just have sex and then maybe see each other for a month and then have it die. It matters to me. I'm very upfront and honest about this before I date a guy and almost all of them have been okay with waiting. Not to wait until marriage or for ever but until I feel like I want to stick it out long term with someone.

 

I may be in the minority though.

 

So I can easily separate physical stuff from emotional stuff. If I'm already emotional the sex part doesn't matter. (Woman) Sex doesn't equal an emotional connection for me it may increase it but for me those are very separate feelings.

 

My current guy we did not wait long, I think maybe date 4 within 2 weeks and are doing fine (new relationship though only 2 mos). He said he was surprised we waited b/c he always gave it up around date 1 or 2 and had had committed relationships with those ppl.

 

Other guys I've waited maybe a couple of weeks to a month longest probably was 3 mos, all ended up being relationships. Any time I wanted to wait I said so - didn't make a big deal out of it and no guy complained.

[RoseWater]

So I can easily separate physical stuff from emotional stuff. If I'm already emotional the sex part doesn't matter. (Woman) Sex doesn't equal an emotional connection for me it may increase it but for me those are very separate feelings.

 

My current guy we did not wait long, I think maybe date 4 within 2 weeks and are doing fine (new relationship though only 2 mos). He said he was surprised we waited b/c he always gave it up around date 1 or 2 and had had committed relationships with those ppl.

 

Other guys I've waited maybe a couple of weeks to a month longest probably was 3 mos, all ended up being relationships. Any time I wanted to wait I said so - didn't make a big deal out of it and no guy complained.

 

What an odd thing for him to say

[SwordofFlame]

For all of those commenting about usually having sex on a third date, how did it go afterward? Was the girl more emotionally attached to you afterward? How did it work out?

 

I ask because I can't seperate physical from emotional. Im not able to just have sex and then maybe see each other for a month and then have it die. It matters to me. I'm very upfront and honest about this before I date a guy and almost all of them have been okay with waiting. Not to wait until marriage or for ever but until I feel like I want to stick it out long term with someone.

 

I may be in the minority though.

I definitely felt closer to the woman. I'm not a guy who's just looking for hook ups. The women were more emotionally attached as well.

[No_Go]

Why did you eve date them then?

 

Agree with this!!! And my goodness I would not want to have slept with all the men I have dated. No way!

[SwordofFlame]

I'm not.

 

There is a world beyond the US. Unbelievably.

 

Do you own a passport?

I do and I think you're missing the point. But we're still in the developed world. Dating is a lot different here than in the undeveloped world.

[kpl]

What an odd thing for him to say

 

I really don't think so....

 

We are doing well so I don't think how long we waited has had anything to do with that or any of our previous relationships. When I like someone and I feel like we are building mutual love, trust, respect, I don't get hung up on a lot. I notice things and take note but for the most part I enjoy being with a good consistent guy.

[darkbloom]

I definitely felt closer to the woman. I'm not a guy who's just looking for hook ups. The women were more emotionally attached as well.

 

I'm going to be honest. I'm also a little bit crazy. Like I want the dude to be sure he's subscribed to my brand of crazy before I get emotional about him. Three dates seems crazy fast to me but different strokes.

[RoseWater]

Why did you eve date them then?

 

because they seemed lovely for the first 4 or 5 dates. As with any relationship, platonic or romantic, somebody can easily seem to be a great person for a couple of weeks or so. Most people have at least basic acting skills.

[RoseWater]

I do and I think you're missing the point. But we're still in the developed world. Dating is a lot different here than in the undeveloped world.

 

You have no idea what country I am in or what dating is like in "the undeveloped world." Whatever that is.

[No_Go]

Ha that's a good point! I agree with you - interpersonal interactions can be deceiving... (in my experience it can be much much longer than 4-5 weeks - e.g. in work settings or casual friendship the person can put their best face for years).

 

However, intimacy reveals traits of character that will stay masked for longer if you stay platonic (e.g. is the person concerned with your health, are they a giver or receiver, respect, boundaries etc).

 

because they seemed lovely for the first 4 or 5 dates. As with any relationship, platonic or romantic, somebody can easily seem to be a great person for a couple of weeks or so. Most people have at least basic acting skills.

[No_Go]

Side tracking, but it is funny when the people consider their country the only country My own country may pass for underdeveloped (economically, it is in Eastern Europe) but still, I always entertain from the faces of people that has never lived abroad - they imagine much more extreme differences than what exist in reality.

 

My experience though me not to make an opinion for a country/culture before living full six months to an year in...

 

 

You have no idea what country I am in or what dating is like in "the undeveloped world." Whatever that is.