7th date sex

[SwordofFlame]

Question for the late crowd - after it finally happens, is it on then full time at that point? (Assuming everything goes well.) I'd hate to think you'd wait another 3 months or whatevs til the next time.

Curious about this too. Do you women essentially flip a switch and become a lot more sexual going forward?

[getsmartie]

Question for the late crowd - after it finally happens, is it on then full time at that point? (Assuming everything goes well.) I'd hate to think you'd wait another 3 months or whatevs til the next time.

 

Absolutely it's full on. The sexual chemistry was there early on. I just don't have sex with men early. I don't know them and I don't give my body away freely.....and no I have zero hangs up. I'm very sexual.

 

I've seen numerous threads here where women say they've had sex and the guy has disappeared. That has to feel pretty ****ty.

 

I knew that when we finally went there he wasn't going anywhere and he was just as emotionally invested as I was.

[BLND]

Curious about this too. Do you women essentially flip a switch and become a lot more sexual going forward?

 

Well ya once you do it, all hell breaks loose :) no waiting after. We usually wait just for the first time with a guy.

[BLND]

Very good post and I've basically said the same thing multiple times in this thread.

 

Let's say two people feel intense desire. But, they still want to wait to have sex to build trust. At the very least, sex would cross their mind and lead to a discussion about it. There would be heavy making out, naked foreplay in private, etc.. If they described it, you'd be able to feel the passion and the tension created from waiting.

 

But this whole thing sounds very lukewarm. They've never talked about sex or done anything other than mild kissing in public. Instead of RW stressing she can't wait to have sex when the time is right, how hot the guy is, etc she says "she doesn't owe anyone sex". This sounds pretty detached. So I think what people in the thread are picking up on is not her wanting to wait. But that the thread lacks passion/excitement that comes naturally when you're waiting with someone you desire.

 

 

 

"Totally naked foreplay in a room" how can one stop afterwards? You just stop cold turkey and put on your clothes?? If I go that far, I might as well go all the way.

[GunslingerRoland]

Yeah, I hate him. And he hates me even more.

Very funny...but I mean after 5 weeks to me, should be the point where you are getting close to the heads over heel in love stage where you want to spend all your time together. Dating once to twice a week still sounds like the, I think you seem nice, but I'm not sure stage..

[jen1447]

^ Not for her.

[BLND]

Very funny...but I mean after 5 weeks to me, should be the point where you are getting close to the heads over heel in love stage where you want to spend all your time together. Dating once to twice a week still sounds like the, I think you seem nice, but I'm not sure stage..

 

It depends on the frequency of the dates. If I'm seeing the guy once a week, I might be very interested and attracted by him but not yet in the falling in love stage.

[RoseWater]

Absolutely it's full on. The sexual chemistry was there early on. I just don't have sex with men early. I don't know them and I don't give my body away freely.....and no I have zero hangs up. I'm very sexual.

 

I've seen numerous threads here where women say they've had sex and the guy has disappeared. That has to feel pretty ****ty.

 

I knew that when we finally went there he wasn't going anywhere and he was just as emotionally invested as I was.

 

I'm exactly the same!

[RoseWater]

Curious about this too. Do you women essentially flip a switch and become a lot more sexual going forward?

 

I don't really understand the point of this question. Much of the world's population wait until they are in a committed relationship or even until they are married, before they have sex. Obviously they don't only have sex once. They continue to have sex on a regular basis with their partner.

 

Is it really so shocking to you and so alien for a woman to wait 8 to 12 weeks before having sex with each new partner?:rolleyes: If so, that's a little sad.

[SwordofFlame]

I don't really understand the point of this question. Much of the world's population wait until they are in a committed relationship or even until they are married, before they have sex. Obviously they don't only have sex once. They continue to have sex on a regular basis with their partner.

 

Is it really so shocking to you and so alien for a woman to wait 8 to 12 weeks before having sex with each new partner?:rolleyes: If so, that's a little sad.

No the fear is waiting that long to find out you're not sexually compatible with your partner. Who are you to judge me if I find sexually compatibility to be extremely important in a relationship? Now who's the one being judgmental here.

[RoseWater]

I also enjoy never having the drama of "I slept with him on the first night and now he hasn't called me" or "I slept with him but I'm not sure whether he wants a relationship with me or not."

 

Having sex very quickly, within a couple weeks or so of meeting, is the easiest way of doing things, simply because so many people do it. Waiting goes against the grain a bit and takes discipline and self belief. But it's worth it to be able to figure out if a partner and I click emotionally and spiritually first without my judgment having been clouded by (possibly great) sex at that stage.

 

It works for me. I'm happy. I've never slept with a boyfriend only to have him dump me or never call again. I've never waited and then found that the sex is terrible and we're not physically compatible after all. Instead what's happened is we've built feelings and the sex feels amazing.

 

It's a bit pathetic that certain people on this thread respond to this by saying I must not like sex, I must have hangups, I must not like my boyfriend much etc. But honestly such negative responses say more about them than they do about me.

[RoseWater]

No the fear is waiting that long to find out you're not sexually compatible with your partner. Who are you to judge me if I find sexually compatibility to be extremely important in a relationship? Now who's the one being judgmental here.

 

I thought in another thread you said it's very hard for you to find women who are attracted to you at all. Who are you having sex with?

[SwordofFlame]

I thought in another thread you said it's very hard for you to find women who are attracted to you at all. Who are you having sex with?

I don't recall saying that. Going to have to post a link to show me.

[RoseWater]

I don't recall saying that. Going to have to post a link to show me.

 

you started a thread about your lack of success getting dates. I'm not going to link it here because it's very off topic. But it sounded to me like you didn't have much success getting women to go out with you, let alone fall into bed with you quickly.

[RoseWater]

I didn't read through the whole thread but OP I'd wait until you're ready.

 

My boyfriend waited for over 3 months. I was wildly attracted to him and the chemistry was intense but like you OP I don't jump into bed with men. I've always taken my time. I need to feel safe and that I'm falling for them.

 

He respected that about me. When we finally did go there it was an intense and passionate.

 

That's great!

[fitnessfan365]

I don't really understand the point of this question. Much of the world's population wait until they are in a committed relationship or even until they are married, before they have sex. .

 

Committed relationship - OK I can agree with this. I still think it's lower than what you think it is. But there are plenty of people who wait until they're exclusive.

 

But until marriage? - This is REALLY naive. With a mindset like that, it's like you're stuck in the 50's. Taking any highly religious types/virgins out of the mix, I dare to say that the MAJORITY of couples have sex before marriage. I know this is a cliche, but would you buy a car w/o test driving it first? Forever is a long time to be with someone you hate having sex with. Just saying..

[getsmartie]

No the fear is waiting that long to find out you're not sexually compatible with your partner. Who are you to judge me if I find sexually compatibility to be extremely important in a relationship? Now who's the one being judgmental here.

 

 

 

Not necessarily true. I knew that when we got there we would be sexually compatible. One just knows. I think if anyone feels judged its people like me and Rosewater.

 

 

You'll never see a thread from me saying that I just slept with a guy on the 2nd date and I haven't heard from him.

 

 

I am not judging anyone who does jump into bed right away BUT don't judge people who want to wait. I have a girlfriend who sleeps with men early and guess what she's still single after years of dating. Had she had waited she would have figured out she wasn't compatible in other areas before they went there sexually.

Edited October 28, 2015 by getsmartie

[RoseWater]

Committed relationship - OK I can agree with this. I still think it's lower than what you think it is. But there are plenty of people who wait until they're exclusive.

 

But until marriage? - This is REALLY naive. With a mindset like that, it's like you're stuck in the 50's. Taking any highly religious types/virgins out of the mix, I dare to say that the MAJORITY of couples have sex before marriage. I know this is a cliche, but would you buy a car w/o test driving it first? Forever is a long time to be with someone you hate having sex with. Just saying..

 

You are welcome to your views but why does it get your panties in such a twist that not everybody thinks like you?

 

Side note: As for "highly religious types" -- they probably make up the world's majority, actually. North American non-religious sexually promiscuous individuals are not the prototype for the globe believe it or not.

[SwordofFlame]

you started a thread about your lack of success getting dates. I'm not going to link it here because it's very off topic. But it sounded to me like you didn't have much success getting women to go out with you, let alone fall into bed with you quickly.

Are you sure you don't have me confused with someone else? Sure I haven't been in that many relationships but I have been in a couple of short ones (2-3 months) and one for about 6 months. I go on about 3 dates a month on average with different women from OLD. The few ones where I had success, I slept with them on the 3rd date. I have been strung along and felt used a couple of times. As I'm sure you're aware. Not sure why you're directing so much hostility towards me. I'm just stating what I've encountered in my life so far. Which for some reason you refuse to believe actually happened.

[RoseWater]

Not necessarily true. I knew that when we got there we would be sexually compatible. One just knows. I think if anyone feels judged its people like me and Rosewater.

 

 

You'll never see a thread from me saying that I just slept with a guy on the 2nd date and I haven't heard from him.

 

 

I am not judging anyone who does jump into bed right away BUT don't judge people who want to wait. I have a girlfriend who sleeps with men early and guess what she's still single after years of dating. Had she had waited she would have figured out she wasn't compatible in other areas before they went there sexually.

 

Thank you for this brilliant post!!!!

[fitnessfan365]

Had she had waited she would have figured out she wasn't compatible in other areas before they went their sexually.

 

Here's a question. Why can't both be done at the same time? It is possible to multi-task..LOL I've always wondered why some women compartmentalize in this way. Hell, some of the best conversations are during pillow talk.

 

I guess some people are worried that they'll be distracted by lust and overlook red flags? I'm sure it happens. But if you can plan great dates where you keep getting to know each other that end in the bedroom as well, a mix of both seems like it'd be the most ideal. Remember, not every guy w/ a sex drive disappears or is non monogamous.

[RoseWater]

Are you sure you don't have me confused with someone else? Sure I haven't been in that many relationships but I have been in a couple of short ones (2-3 months) and one for about 6 months. I go on about 3 dates a month on average with different women from OLD. The few ones where I had success, I slept with them on the 3rd date. I have been strung along and felt used a couple of times. As I'm sure you're aware. Not sure why you're directing so much hostility towards me. I'm just stating what I've encountered in my life so far. Which for some reason you refuse to believe actually happened.

 

So you have never had a relationship that lasted beyond 6 months.

 

I rest my case.

[fitnessfan365]

You are welcome to your views but why does it get your panties in such a twist that not everybody thinks like you?.

 

Haha.. You've been giving just as much attitude in the thread yourself when people disagree.

 

But it just shocks me that you honestly believe the majority of people wait until marriage.

[RoseWater]

Here's a question. Why can't both be done at the same time? It is possible to multi-task..LOL I've always wondered why some women compartmentalize in this way. Hell, some of the best conversations are during pillow talk.

 

I guess some people are worried that they'll be distracted by lust and overlook red flags? I'm sure it happens. But if you can plan great dates where you keep getting to know each other that end in the bedroom as well, a mix of both seems like it'd be the most ideal. Remember, not every guy w/ a sex drive disappears or is non monogamous.

 

Why does it matter to you? If you are able to find women who will have sex with you in whatever manner and time frame you require, just get on with it. No need to keep having a go at people who choose a different path for themselves.

[RoseWater]

Haha.. You've been giving just as much attitude in the thread yourself when people disagree.

 

But it just shocks me that you honestly believe the majority of people wait until marriage.

 

Nowhere in the thread have I stated that the majority of people wait until marriage before having sex. You really seem worked up and even confused now. Misreading my posts and all.