loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I want to be girls first love and really bad. They say your first love creates a blueprint for the future lovers you have afterwards. In other words it lays a foundation. It is really powerful. I am 21 and I feel it is too late to be a girl's first love. And I feel like I am living by a "blueprint" or a standard some other guy has set in her life. I think being a girl's first love is special and I wish I could of been a girl's first love. I have had a lot to drink tonight and I just want to to die. I feel like I missed the boat.
jam.over.jelly Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 You can't be serious? That's a rather immature thought. You can't control whether or not a girl has loved someone else before you. Chasing after that is like chasing after a unicorn. Not real. If you happen to be her first love, great, if not, what's the big deal? First love doesn't always mean the best, my first love was definitely not the best. Sure I loved him but after everything, all I remembered was I wish I didn't love him, and I wish he weren't my first. First love means something, but not everything, And plus, wouldn't you want to be a woman's last love? Not just her first? 5
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 You can't be serious? That's a rather immature thought. You can't control whether or not a girl has loved someone else before you. Chasing after that is like chasing after a unicorn. Not real. If you happen to be her first love, great, if not, what's the big deal? First love doesn't always mean the best, my first love was definitely not the best. Sure I loved him but after everything, all I remembered was I wish I didn't love him, and I wish he weren't my first. First love means something, but not everything, And plus, wouldn't you want to be a woman's last love? Not just her first? Because you can't always guarantee to be a girl's last. A first will always be a first but you can never guarantee to be a girl's last. So what if you end up the guy in between the first and last? You ain't that special. Especially not as special as the first or the last. I have a date with a helium tank and a mask once I get home. My death is inevitable.
Phoe Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 My "first love" treated me terribly. He was a horrible example of what a relationship should be, and being my first, I didn't know any better. The only blueprint he created is the blueprint of what NOT to do. Don't worry about being her first love, because her first love might have completely sucked. Focus on being the RIGHT love, a GOOD love... create your own blueprint. 4
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 My "first love" treated me terribly. He was a horrible example of what a relationship should be, and being my first, I didn't know any better. The only blueprint he created is the blueprint of what NOT to do. Don't worry about being her first love, because her first love might have completely sucked. Focus on being the RIGHT love, a GOOD love... create your own blueprint. But not everyone can say that. Thing is I don't like being compared. I never had an actual first love. Not I have had a hookup and I still miss the absolute hell out of her and I would take her back in a heartbeat bit i never had a first love. So if a girl was to be my first love but I wasn't her first nor her last....that means she gets the entitlement to be my first while I don't get to be hers. Not only that you always compare everyone to your first. That sucks because I am going to have to live up to whatever guy was first in her life. Talk about feeling inferior and challenged. Not only that it is another reason to boost some guys ego knwoing that I am just exploring where he has already been.
jam.over.jelly Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Because you can't always guarantee to be a girl's last. A first will always be a first but you can never guarantee to be a girl's last. So what if you end up the guy in between the first and last? You ain't that special. Especially not as special as the first or the last. I have a date with a helium tank and a mask once I get home. My death is inevitable. And just like you can't guarantee to be her first either. This is something you can't control. Phoe is right, just focus on being the right love. 2
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 And just like you can't guarantee to be her first either. This is something you can't control. Phoe is right, just focus on being the right love. The only thing I am focused in is being dust in a friggen jar of being 6 feet under dead in a box. I always envisioned being married and being a great relationship with kids and such. I always wanted to be a girl's first love and **** but that is not going to happen. I took a girl's virginity but that is not the same as love. Being the guy in the middle sucks. You ain't that special . she is my first while I am not hers. And I can't guarantee to be her last. So what value do I really have? I want to jump in a damn wormhole and go back in time just 5 years. 5 YEARS!!!!!! For the love of God I wish I can but I CANT!!!!!!!!!!
lana-banana Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I want to be girls first love and really bad. They say your first love creates a blueprint for the future lovers you have afterwards. In other words it lays a foundation. It is really powerful. I am 21 and I feel it is too late to be a girl's first love. And I feel like I am living by a "blueprint" or a standard some other guy has set in her life. I think being a girl's first love is special and I wish I could of been a girl's first love. I have had a lot to drink tonight and I just want to to die. I feel like I missed the boat. So you're sad NOT because you didn't have a happy, fulfilling relationship...but because you didn't get a chance to be influential and important in someone's life? "It is really powerful", you say. Healthy relationships are not about power. So long as you have this mindset you have no business dating, especially dating young, inexperienced people. You are setting yourself (and others!) up for a world of pain.
neowulf Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 The only thing I am focused in is being dust in a friggen jar of being 6 feet under dead in a box. I always envisioned being married and being a great relationship with kids and such. I always wanted to be a girl's first love and **** but that is not going to happen. I took a girl's virginity but that is not the same as love. Being the guy in the middle sucks. You ain't that special . she is my first while I am not hers. And I can't guarantee to be her last. So what value do I really have? I want to jump in a damn wormhole and go back in time just 5 years. 5 YEARS!!!!!! For the love of God I wish I can but I CANT!!!!!!!!!! Ok, couple of thoughts. 1. These things you believe, are just that. Thoughts. There's no "rules" or "logic" about them. 2. People will often take more than one partner in life. This is simply part of the human experience. It's something you *need* to work at getting over, otherwise it's going to drive you nuts. 3. The relationship you have with a person is what makes it "special", not who bumped uglies. It doesn't matter how many a girl has had before you, so long as *you* both share a unique bond, it's all good. 4. These thoughts will only serve to limit your dating options and drive you nuts. I'd suggest learning to focus on other things.
BLND Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Didn't you post yesterday or day before about a girl you had sex with you were her first but she wanted nothing to do with you after? Then you managed to look up her dad's name and adress and you mailed her a letter or something? Clearly you need to work through some stuff before wanting to get into a relationship with someone. 4
RoseWater Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 What are you bringing to the table in terms of a relationship? What do you have to offer a woman you might date? Mental stability? A healthy relationship? 1
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 So you're sad NOT because you didn't have a happy, fulfilling relationship...but because you didn't get a chance to be influential and important in someone's life? "It is really powerful", you say. Healthy relationships are not about power. So long as you have this mindset you have no business dating, especially dating young, inexperienced people. You are setting yourself (and others!) up for a world of pain. Explain this then
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Ok, couple of thoughts. 1. These things you believe, are just that. Thoughts. There's no "rules" or "logic" about them. 2. People will often take more than one partner in life. This is simply part of the human experience. It's something you *need* to work at getting over, otherwise it's going to drive you nuts. 3. The relationship you have with a person is what makes it "special", not who bumped uglies. It doesn't matter how many a girl has had before you, so long as *you* both share a unique bond, it's all good. 4. These thoughts will only serve to limit your dating options and drive you nuts. I'd suggest learning to focus on other things. Then explain this bud
blackcat777 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I'd much rather focus on being the last. If I'm someone's last, I'm the greatest love they ever had and they chose to stick with it. How cool is that? Much better than, "This shoe didn't fit. Next!" Also, all the guys I was with before my man? He's like a bright white light and the thought of anyone else is like sand and crumbles. MY first? Uggghh...
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 I'd much rather focus on being the last. If I'm someone's last, I'm the greatest love they ever had and they chose to stick with it. How cool is that? Much better than, "This shoe didn't fit. Next!" But again, you can't guarantee to be someone's last. A first will always be a first. But you can never guarantee to be someone's last? So what if you are neither their first or last? For example, what if a girl is my first love but I am neither her first or last?
RoseWater Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Didn't you post yesterday or day before about a girl you had sex with you were her first but she wanted nothing to do with you after? Then you managed to look up her dad's name and adress and you mailed her a letter or something? Clearly you need to work through some stuff before wanting to get into a relationship with someone. The girl changed her phone number in the hope that OP would not be able to contact her again.
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 The girl changed her phone number in the hope that OP would not be able to contact her again. The more I think about it. I opened my mouth to her older sister, which I think in return told her parents. I think her parents might of been the main reason she is not talking to me.
RoseWater Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 The more I think about it. I opened my mouth to her older sister, which I think in return told her parents. I think her parents might of been the main reason she is not talking to me. Earlier in this thread didn't you say you are feeling suicidal? I think you should focus on sorting out your psychological problems. You've not answered my previous question, but what are you bringing to the table? Why would a girl choose to date a man who is suicidal? 2
BLND Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Exactly! OP you clearly said you have some mental issues. You need to work on those first. Only after should you be thinking about being in a relationship.
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Exactly! OP you clearly said you have some mental issues. You need to work on those first. Only after should you be thinking about being in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship unless I am a girl's first love. Otherwise I am just loving up to a blueprint her first love set in her life. I don't want a girl to be my first love if I am neither her first or last. Again, why am I even still alive?
Author loverage21 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 Earlier in this thread didn't you say you are feeling suicidal? I think you should focus on sorting out your psychological problems. You've not answered my previous question, but what are you bringing to the table? Why would a girl choose to date a man who is suicidal? I dont want to pursue a relationship with anyone unless I am their first love. Otherwise I would be letting a girl be my first love and I am neither her first or last.
h0000 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Guys, OP has serious issues, real issues. He needs professional help, not us. 10
BLND Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I don't think this is the right forum for you. You need other kinds of support. You definitely shouldn't be posting in the dating section. 2
Guyouthere Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Original poster of this…. There are many here who see that you have to get some professional help for how you are feeling. People do care, we do, but we can't help you with this matter, or give you good advice, other than seeking out someone (preferably in real life) who you can see and talk to, who can help you with how you feel. Please take our advice.
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