Fair Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 about your wife/husband after several years of marriage? By this I mean, 15... 20+ years. Are you still what we would term 'in love' with them or have your feelings dampened so that now you just love them as a friend/companion? Would you admit to being in a long lasting committed relationship and not being 'in love?' Most people wouldn't, even to themselves. Most people who have been married forever are just in it because they built a life with the person and have security, a companion, and don't want to mess it up... but I always wonder what they're getting out of life in terms of excitement...?? Or Romance?? There's a lot of married men out there flirting with other women. And whether or not it turns to cheating you can see they're more attracted to other women than to their wives... I always think how much I'd hate to be the wife whose husband is having more intense, erotic feelings for others because she, as the wife, has become familiar and boring. So I want to know, how many men still feel excitement for their own wife after years of marriage? Does she still make your heart flutter? Or are all married in some sense just living a kind of a lie? Saying, "oh yes, I'm still 'in love' with my partner" because it's expected of you... when really, you're not? There's a book out there written by a man who basically says just this. That married people end up deceiving themselves and/or their spouse in terms of how they really feel about each other over time; that marriage only sounds good in theory but is based on deception. He says the idea of being truly happy and staying in romantic love with one person forever CAN'T happen. I can't say I disagree. Thoughts? Especially from men, I'd like to hear your side.
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