Anxiety/Bitterness regarding breaking up and making new plans, friends etc...

[RoxStar]

Is it me or do any of you other dumpees get anxious when it comes time to make plans now? What I mean is it seems that every weekend I am struggling to make sure I am out and about and super busy so I dont have to worry about what my ex is doing and if he is with the girl that was his ex that he is now back with. I think I am making more of it this week since this coming weekend is a holiday and I have an extra day to fill with busy things to do.

 

I guess with me it also is that my ex is hanging out with our friends and our group and I have to go outside and get new friends and do new things and move on in a different fashion. In his life all he has done is replace me and still has the same social life, same friends, same everything. He did this yet I am the one that has to start from scratch and rebuild a life that was taken from me.

 

I am just having a bitter day.

[Moose]

One foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow.......you know the rest. Let him go, and don't start from scratch, that was your circle of friends too. Stand up for yourself.

[Opium]

He did this yet I am the one that has to start from scratch and rebuild a life that was taken from me

 

Starting new is sometimes good. You get to be who ever you want and tell them whatever it is you want to tell them

Moving on is hard but think of it this way, Now you have the opportunity to find someone who truly cares for ou and shows you the respect you need. People have rebound relationships to get over a fear or a lack of it. Rebounds are never good but you learn from them, some turn out to be nothing but a mistake and some turn out to be worth living.

 

In any case, live your life and do what your doing, keep busy. Going out and meeting new people is always exciting. It's just getting started that sucks.

[Fallen_Angel]

I hate, hate weekends now! Which is so horrible, I know...after 5 days of work I do look forward to a break, but I used to only see my ex on weekends because he was so busy with school.

 

I've tried my darndest to keep busy and make plans with people, but my circle of friends shrunk after I left college. Plus, I'm afraid of talking these people's collective ears off with my overanalytical ramblings. I'm careful to censor myself now!

 

I'm definitely not looking forward to this weekend. I used to spend Memorial Day weekend with him and his friends, and we always had such a blast.

 

I start a new job in two weeks and I've already started talking to someone I found through an online dating site (scary - but at least the site has pictures and he lives in the area! And he's SO very nice), so maybe I can forge new friendships and such.

 

I feel pretty bitter too. I was so happy with the way things were, even though I only saw him once a week...but I try to remind myself that obviously HE has issues, not me.

[dgiirl]

I feel lonely from time to time, but my ex and I never really went out much to begin with. So now I'm finding it a bit exciting and refreshing to be able to do anything my heart desires. Although it is difficult to keep finding new things to do to keep my interest.

 

If the divorce goes through, I'll be moving back to my home town where I have a lot of friends. I'm a bit excited because I know I'll be able to hang out with them more and be able to do new things. One of my friends is into salsa, so I think I'll join a class and meet new people that way. Apparently there's a salsa "community", so it's a great way to meet new people, even from different classes.

 

I was bitter at first because I kept dwelling on all the things I was losing. I felt like I was losing everything in my life (job/house/husband/friends/activities). Then I realized the things that I liked to do, I dont need my ex to do them. I can still do them, plus more. I'm just challenging my old way of thinking, and trying everything like it's a new experience. And I'm having a ball

 

It's unbelievable how much time I have now. My ex and I never did much, and I always felt there was never enough time. Now I'm excited to go home from work because I get to play. I guess it was the depression/anxiety that was bringing me down.

[TheBarnacle]

Originally posted by Fallen_Angel

I'm careful to censor myself now!

 

yes, a good "filter" is important.

 

don't sweat it, you're certainly not alone! weekends are harder b/c there's less structure. at least they put 'dinner and a movie' back to friday nights! i sometimes save all my chores up until the weekend, then i find i've done EVERYTHING ON MY LIST and it's only like 2:30pm...on saturday! and i have the rest of the weekend to kill.

 

it does get better...reclaim some of your old friends, make connections with new ones. you can doooo eeet!!

[CurlyIam]

RoxStar, why does he have to stay with your common friends? If they're your friends also, you should give them a call and maybe... hang out from time to time. Like have a cup of coffee together or see a film. I'm sure they'd be most happy to see you , Rox.

 

I certainly know a LOT about waking up to zero friends around you, but the truth is, they've never left. You just have to reach out for them. Fight a bit more. Sure, you'll get dissapointed, but your true friends, they haven't deserted you. You'll see.

 

Sometimes I think that from a social point of vue, breaking up with my ex was the best thing possible. Because I understood the value of my own friends after that.

 

 

Listen, I don't know about you, but I'm very hard on myself. Very hard. And at times I need to just reach out for the others to make me see the reality. Do the same. Reach out for them. How bad can it be? Don't say anything about your ex, they'll respect your privacy.

 

C'mon, cheer up, you'll do great at having them back into your life!

[Bad Seed]

If you dumped your ex, what do you expect? How long have you not spoken to him for? What if he still loves you but you give him no other choice but to move on? Ask yourself those questions before listening to everybody else that the best thing is to moove on. Nobody here knows the real reason why you broke up, you must give us more detail about your problem.

 

BS