EO422 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I am in a totally awkward situation. I was talking to this girl as a friend because my ex broke up with me 2 months ago..I met this new girl a month ago. All I wanted to be was friends because I wasn't attracted to her really and at first she was just idk. I wasn't feeling it. We soon hung out a few times, about 3-4 and I totally enjoyed it. But in my mind I was like "nah I don't like her" and I didn't. But it's weird. I am back and forth. I like her because of her personality, but I am just no attracted to her. And I KNOW that once I tell her I like her then I won't care. I think I have some attention issue. Like maybe I like the attention I am getting from her? I haven't led her on, she wants to be friends as well. Actually her and her ex are talking again, and I am not jealous. I am just really sad? Idk why. I guess maybe because I will be loosing a friend and some good memories we had? I just don't know. I don't know my feelings. I feel like I just like her because she gives me attention. I am about to break the friendship because I feel like now I am just using her. Idk. I am so confused.
seekingluck Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Be honest, just say you want to be friends and let her choose if she wants to do that.
neowulf Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I am in a totally awkward situation. I was talking to this girl as a friend because my ex broke up with me 2 months ago..I met this new girl a month ago. All I wanted to be was friends because I wasn't attracted to her really and at first she was just idk. I wasn't feeling it. We soon hung out a few times, about 3-4 and I totally enjoyed it. But in my mind I was like "nah I don't like her" and I didn't. But it's weird. I am back and forth. I like her because of her personality, but I am just no attracted to her. And I KNOW that once I tell her I like her then I won't care. I think I have some attention issue. Like maybe I like the attention I am getting from her? I haven't led her on, she wants to be friends as well. Actually her and her ex are talking again, and I am not jealous. I am just really sad? Idk why. I guess maybe because I will be loosing a friend and some good memories we had? I just don't know. I don't know my feelings. I feel like I just like her because she gives me attention. I am about to break the friendship because I feel like now I am just using her. Idk. I am so confused. Sounds like you're itching for a rebound. The girl is putting out the vibe that she's keen and you're thinking "eh, why not". Now, couple of things. If you're honestly not seeing her as relationship material, but wouldn't mind having a little fun, be straight with her. Don't lead her on or make out that you have deeper feelings when you don't. If she's on board with killing a little time, it can be a great release for you both. But if she honestly likes you and wants more? No man, don't do it. 2
Author EO422 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 I honestly think I am using her. And I feel horribly guilty for that. She could be using me too, and she is agreeing to be friends. She could even be using me as well, she broke up a month ago. So who knows
Redhead14 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I am in a totally awkward situation. I was talking to this girl as a friend because my ex broke up with me 2 months ago..I met this new girl a month ago. All I wanted to be was friends because I wasn't attracted to her really and at first she was just idk. I wasn't feeling it. We soon hung out a few times, about 3-4 and I totally enjoyed it. But in my mind I was like "nah I don't like her" and I didn't. But it's weird. I am back and forth. I like her because of her personality, but I am just no attracted to her. And I KNOW that once I tell her I like her then I won't care. I think I have some attention issue. Like maybe I like the attention I am getting from her? I haven't led her on, she wants to be friends as well. Actually her and her ex are talking again, and I am not jealous. I am just really sad? Idk why. I guess maybe because I will be loosing a friend and some good memories we had? I just don't know. I don't know my feelings. I feel like I just like her because she gives me attention. I am about to break the friendship because I feel like now I am just using her. Idk. I am so confused. I am about to break the friendship because I feel like now I am just using her -- You are not confused . . . 1
mystikmind2005 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 hmmm well you could always tell her your not ready to be in a relationship right now..... the true purpose of that being to get the girl you do want to be in a relationship with,, why so? Because whenever you tell someone you are not ready to be in a relationship, that is when the malevolent relationship gods jump up and shove a wonderful girl in your face just for the fun of making a liar out of you..... how many times do we need to see this crap happen before we admit it's true!! lol
Author EO422 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 She full on knows I don't want a relationship with her. We kind of went over this! We are friends. She is talking to others! And her ex! She seems to be great with friends... I am confused about what I want. I don't know if I want her, if I am using her, if I am rebounding etc...every 30 minutes it changes in my head I go from "its this" to "no it's that" I think she full well knows I don't want her. Because I haven't been leading her on, actually showing signs of the opposit..its me that's confused..not us!
Author EO422 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 (edited) I like th companionship, without the relationship part/sex part. She is a nice caring girl and very understanding and I can have a conversation with her forever. I would cuddle with her etc...fortunately I haven't done that. I haven't been leading her on, because I am trying to keep myself from doing that. I wouldn't wanna kiss her, haven't felt a want too, and I don't wanna get into bed with her. Is this a rebound? Is this just qualities of a good friendship? Is this the start of something possibly? I AM CONFUSED Am I possibly falling for her and trying to repress my feelings and deny them? Edited October 27, 2015 by EO422
Author EO422 Posted October 29, 2015 Author Posted October 29, 2015 Still unsure. If I got into a new relationship, I wouldn't wanna talk to this girl. I would wanna commit myself 100% fully to the girl I would be dating and wouldn't wanna talk to anyone else, let alone a girl. I don't know what to do or say to her. So unable a right to not talk to a girl if I am dating someone? I mean she is my friend, but I still just couldn't do it. I would wanna talk to my gf all day long not my friend who is a girl. I feel horrible for this. I know we are just friends, but I really feel horrible about this. Should I feel guilty and end this friendship now or what?
xcupid Posted October 30, 2015 Posted October 30, 2015 If there are no romantic feelings or expectations from either of you then what does it matter if you're "just friends"?
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