when your best friend has no morals and is possibly NPD

[Odinani]

but they treat you really nicely for the most part, what then?

 

I am in this situation.

 

My friend is not committing criminal acts, but is completely immoral and sees herself as above the law and too special to follow any form of rules. Sexually she is doing risque things (unprotected sex with multiple strangers, taking men from their wives etc) and she is encouraging me to do similar things (that's not going to happen as I am very conservative sexually).

 

She finds the fact that I only have sex within a loving relationship "hilarious" she said. She presents her lifestyle to me as the norm. There's also a lot of sexual acting out including posting naked photos of herself constantly on social media. Also an inflated ego. She recently posted a photo of Beyonce and commented that she herself as a "prettier, younger version" of Beyonce (she was being deadly serious). It feels like she will do anything to get attention now, particularly from men. Unfortunately she will now also have sex with pretty much anyone.

 

She is also warm and loving towards me the rest of the time, and generous, always trying to treat me to meals etc.

 

If I hang around her for much longer will her norm start to become mine?

[preraph]

How long have you known this woman? Is it a childhood friend gone bad or what?

 

I will say this, just because a person treats YOU nice doesn't mean they are a good person. Just because you like someone doesn't mean they aren't a bad person. She is trying to influence you out of your comfort zone. She is crossing boundaries most people would frown upon. She is being stupid posting risque photos of herself and jeopardizing her future by doing that. Every potential employer will look and see those -- and then only the ones who want in her pants will hire her. So she's already carved out her destiny there.

 

With her mindset about taking men from their wives, it wouldn't surprise me at all if she's not already having sex for money and being a prostitute. If not, I bet she will soon. It almost sounds like she's trying to "turn" you into one. I mean, I was pretty frivolous too (in the 70s before diseases) but I didn't go around trying to shame someone into anything they weren't comfortable with. I'd be on the lookout for her taking money for sex because she really sounds like she's headed that way.

 

You can be "more distant" friends and not abandon her totally, but don't let her bully you or shame you or intimidate you into making her mistakes, because how she's going about it, those will follow her the rest of her life. Anytime she brings it up, you tell her with confidence that you think some things she's doing are going to adversely affect her life and future and that you are not dumb enough or care enough to want to do them and to stop trying to make you. You can definitely be painted with the same brush just by hanging around her, so if I were you, I'd cut the socializing with her way back to a minimum.

[LuckyLady13]

Odinani, you sound very secure in your perception of yourself. That's great! As long as you know who you are and why, her norm won't become yours. The worst that's going to happen on that front is you will get desensitized eventually by being around her so that you won't find the things she's doing shocking anymore. It won't necessarily hurt you but rather keep your eyes open to differences in people.

 

If you're as secure in yourself and your values like you sound, stand your ground and don't let anyone ever try to change you. Your friend needs to learn to accept you being different just like you've accepted her being different. If she can't do that, you need to make an exit out of this friendship because if you don't, it will lead to a lot of frustration for you to keep saying the word no all the time.

 

As far as her taking chances with STD's, it is dangerous and a risk to her physical and emotional well being. Personally, if I were you, I wouldn't feel like a true friend if I didn't sit her down and have a serious and frank discussion with her about how serious the risks are.

 

Women can't "take" men from their wives the same as you can't rape the willing.

 

If she's posting naked photos on social media, that could work in her favor if she's going to make a career in the porn industry, as an escort, nude model, etc. If she wants a job or serious career not related to any of these things, this will come back to bite her later and could hurt her chances for employment opportunities.

 

You said she treats you really well except when it comes to trying to pressure you to be like her. I don't think you should drop her as a friend. Just stand your ground and never waver from who you truly are and don't let her influence your decisions in life.

 

Being her friend, you probably have a good idea as to why she's seeking attention from men in all the worst ways. You might want to help steer her in a less damaging direction.