menyou Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Just looking for input on continuing to get to know someone while distance is a factor. I don't want either side to have feelings slip but this is kind of new territory for me. I don't mind not seeing someone for an extended period of time I just want to make sure I don't not step up to the plate enough in this situation. It's definitely harder to continue to get to know someone when you aren't present with them, IMO. It's been a few weeks and will be atleast a few weeks maybe more before we see each other again. We phone every few days and text sporadically. We do not fill each other in on daily things that really don't matter so when we do communicate it's for a reason, I suppose. Just want to take a proactive stance on this as I truly love this relationship as it is going so far. With and without the distance right now.
thecomputerguy Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I've had one long distance relationship (9hrs) and a couple (45 min) ones, some people consider that long distance. From my experience the important things you communicate about will run out then the amount you talk will fade. I'd try not to let that happen, start trying to talk about your day, it may seem like it doesn't matter but it's the little things that count. A lot also has to do with age and where you're both at in life. After seeing that the relationship will be amazing for the both of you after some time together try and make a broad plan on eventually moving closer to each other or together. Distance is an extremely tough thing to get over in a relationship but it could also be the most rewarding. 1
Vintage79 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 best way? Spend time together - get them to come see you one weekend, you go see them the next. Next best option, see each other every other week. If you haven't been together long/at all, the other person, as well as yourself, are going to be running into new people all the time that are in super close proximity...you ultimately want to be part of their world - if you're only there once every month or two, someone close by will get the nod 9 times out of 10. Casually texting every few days without much else will get everyone placed in friendzone/fwb-zone pretty quickly... 2
EricaH329 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I was in a LDR for quite some time. So I can understand where you are coming from. I don't know how long the two of you have been together, but if it's impossible for the two of you to see eachother at all I highly suggest Skyping. In place of a date, get on the webcam with eachother once or twice a week. Consider it a 'date'. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 When I did an LDR all we had was snail mail & 1 phone call once per week for 1 hour after 11 pm when the rates went down. We wrote letters every day; they often crossed in the mail. Make some kind of regular contact & do chat. There are tons more ways to stay in touch now then when I did it. Avail yourself of them all -- e-mail, text, calls, Skype/Facetime, social media, snail mail & making the most of the time you do have together in person. 1
Author menyou Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Thanks for the replies. We are thousands of miles away from each other so just hopping on a plane every other weekend is not the easiest lol I may go the FaceTime route. It's only been about 6 or so months of knowing each other at this point. 1
Ami1uwant Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Was this a LDR from the start or did you meet face to face then one of you move with your job? Was it from college and careers pulled you apart? A LDR can work if both are committed to it and invest the time. With th8s come face to face time. 1
venusishername Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I'm in a similar situation.. just the first couple weeks of an LDR, we are across the U.S. from each other. I think so far, its about communication and consistency. No expectations so early. The best case scenario is that the closeness will grow day by day. My guy told me this morning he is planning to come see me in a couple weeks for Thanksgiving holiday. 1
smackie9 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I think you should have a discussion with him first about the future plans, like who is going to move, where you are going to live, how long are you going to wait before you live together, etc, before you start investing in all the traveling, etc. 2
Author menyou Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Was this a LDR from the start or did you meet face to face then one of you move with your job? Was it from college and careers pulled you apart? A LDR can work if both are committed to it and invest the time. With th8s come face to face time. No. I'm not even sure if it is a true LDR. We will be apart frequently but not all the time. I knew this going in and am ok with it but I just have to make sure the lines of communication don't get squashed. It's a work thing more or less. Nobody will be moving in the near future...as in years. Too soon to even think that way IMO. I don't really think there is a desire to share residential space for quite some time. Marriage not on the table. Both of us have been there done that.
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