2nd Date Hold Up

[Grandeur]

Hi everyone,

 

The Backstory:

 

Last Wednesday I went on a date with a girl I met online several months ago. Well it was a bit of a "late" date because we tried meeting up for a date after a initially chatting, but it never worked out because of my work schedule. At the time I was working on a construction project that required a lot of night work. So every time we agreed to our date, I had to back out because I had to fill in for a staff member, or a project emergency came up. This happened sadly 3 times...I honestly felt very bad about the whole situation and even asked her to move on of she wanted too. She was accepting and understood, as she said if I wasn't worth it, she would've gave up by now.

 

The Date:

 

So I ended up finally meeting her last Wednesday for a few drinks at a local restaurant. We chatted for a good hour or so, then decided to go for a walk. After we walked we stopped and chatted a bit more with some intimate conversation. I ended up making out with her for a bit, and she did as well with no objection. I told her I had a surprise for her and it was a bottle of champagne (a little something out of fairness for all the hardship I put her through to get a date lol). She was happy about it and thanked me and all. I asked why don't we go to her place and drink. She initially was okay about it, then she said her place was too dirty and didn't want me to come over. Then she said she had to work on some of her side business stuff as it got late. So I pretty much persisted for a good 20-30 min trying to convince her to let me come over. She kept saying no, but in a flirty way. Eventually she said she had to really go, and that she had a good time and that we could have a 2nd date at her place the following week. So before we left I asked her what she thought of me and she said she liked me, thought I was good looking (no ego here), and I was a great kisser. As we left she told me to text her when I got home, in which I did and she thanked me for the drinks and she was glad she met the "mystery man".

 

The End Result?:

 

I texted her last Thursday to see how's she doing and she said she was at work and it was boring, etc. then asked how I was doing. I responded the same, and even asked her when she would want to go on a second date. She never responded. Now I should add that she told me last month she was moving back to New Jersey with her parents and wanted to focus on building her side business up more. The main reason being because she was lonely and most of her friends have moved out of state and all. She told me she was going to Jersey this weekend.

 

So, do you think I was too aggressive on our first date and now she thinks I just want to get in her pants? She gave up the same vibe though. Does she have second thoughts? Or maybe she is moving now in the middle of November and doesn't think we can build on a relationship? I mean if it that was the case we could've smashed on the 1st date and went our ways. Mixed signals, so I don't know . Perhaps payback for standing her up the 3 times? Haha. In all honestly I really like this girl. Im sure she likes me as well. We had good chemistry and I wouldn't mind dating her more, but maybe she is seeing things differently now. I don't know.

 

I texted her earlier today if I should give up or not (in a joking way). I will wait to see if she responds. She might think I'm desperate now.

 

Sorry for the long post just need some advice and maybe others experience.

 

Thanks,

 

Aaron

[d0nnivain]

I do this you were a bit too persistent.

 

As a last ditch effort I'd call her -- not text her -- & ask her out to a specific public date like dinner or a movie or anything that doesn't come across as sex only. A single not too over the top apology might be in order along the lines of

 

I have a feeling you thought I was a bit too pushy on our last date. I just enjoyed spending time with you & didn't want it to end. Let me make it up to you & show you that I'

m

a good guy by taking you out to dinner on Friday at My Favorite Restaurant.

[StBreton]

You started off so well ... It's like you made it to first base then tried to run it home ...arguing with the umpire for 20-30 min you should be able to do that.

 

I think buying the champagne was nice but your asking to go to her place was inappropriate ...unless she suggested it. She actually refused your overtures and then you pestered her for 20-30 min? I think you show a lack of manners and boundaries ...she was being nice to you by not telling you to shove off. I think she liked you and you blew it. Maybe I'm incorrect but I'd be surprised if she goes out with you again.

 

I'd apologize without expecting to get a date ...just apologize

[xcupid]

You were a bit too pushy but I wouldn't bring it up again - simply plants the seed and creates doubts about your intentions. Chances are she's busy and you're not her priority. Phone her and ask her out on a date. That way you'll know if she's interested or not. Texting is a POOR way to ASK a woman who you don't know well out on a date IMO.

[Lois_Griffin]

I asked why don't we go to her place and drink. She initially was okay about it, then she said her place was too dirty and didn't want me to come over. Then she said she had to work on some of her side business stuff as it got late. So I pretty much persisted for a good 20-30 min trying to convince her to let me come over. She kept saying no, but in a flirty way.

Ugh.

 

Classless and tacky. It's bad enough you asked ONCE, but to then keep harping about it for another half hour was so over the top and so wildly inappropriate.

 

Don't make that mistake again.

[Grandeur]

Thanks for the responses so far everyone. I should try to reach out to her with a phone call and clear the air and apologize with her later this evening. She still hasn't responded back to my text yet, as she might be busy at work or just ignoring me. 90% of the time she responds within 5-10 min even at work. More feedback appreciated, thanks.

[Grandeur]

I called and no answer, left her a voicemail apologizing and seeing we can try again on another date. I have nothing to lose at this point. She probably has other priorities and what not. So the ball's in her court now. I did everything I could at this point. Her loss if she doesn't...