daterhater Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I'm a 22 and a half year old girl. not to sound cocky, but i'm attractive and mature (thought a bit shy). The guy I like is probably 28-31. He's not typical "hot", but i find him hot. this man was my college photography teacher from jan-april. at midterm i had my one-on-one meeting with him. it was tense. lots of eye contact, look away, blush on both our parts. outside of class, i started running into him at a bar or a concert. the first time i saw him, i waved. the next show i saw him at, i was so scared to go up and talk but my gaze kept ending up on him (he was across the room). he was talking to two male friends, but i noticed his eyes weren't on them. they were on me. hopefully not because i was creeping him out! ha. so school is over and i ran into him at a concert two nights ago. he hung out in back near the bar area. he'd talk to male friends and band guys, but he didn't have any girls come up to him ever. this gave me enough confidence to go over and talk to him while the last band was setting up. before that we'd just made EYES (aka really shy awkward glances in eachother's direction) at eachother. i got ballsy and came up to him and said, "the last few times i've come to town, i've see you. i feel like i'm stalking you but not on purpose!" i could not get a vibe at all. he seemed... uncomfortable perhaps. i was expecting a huge smile... flirting.... our talk seemed to fly by. i mentioned a male friend of mine who was HIS friend and i said that he had told me to tell my teacher hi, but i was too afraid to do it because i thought it would be "weird" to talk to a teacher about outside stuff. he replied with, "oh, teaching isn't really my thing. it's just what i do on the side. it's like my third job. it's more of a hobby." i was so scared that i was making him uncomfortable that i almost left three times when there was a pause, but he'd say something, so i'd stick around. then finally he goes, "well, i have to go find so and so to get my camera." and left me. it was a letdown. i thought when we first met up after class, we'd hook up. ha. anyway, the rest of the night, he'd keep glancing at me then he'd look away. at the end of the night, when he was heading toward the door, he looked around the room. he made eye contact with me... then he left. it felt like he was looking for me to make sure i saw him when he was leaving. anyway.after all this boring background information.... i was hoping after school got out, the awkward tension would leave, but it was still there. do you think he just isn't into me or maybe he thinks i'm too young OR maybe he is uncomfortable because i'm an old student. and since i am an old student, am i offlimits or what?
Tyric Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 You're probably not too young - although you're close! The way you describe it, he just sounds shy - but interested. How do you feel about asking HIM out?
Author daterhater Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 well, i really want to ask him out, but i was waiting for him to send me an obvious clue and i didn't feel i got that. i think i have trouble showing a guy when i like him and maybe he just thought i was being nice. because i'm so shy, it's hard for me to be super forward. i guess i wanted opinions so if it does seem like he likes me, i could be a bit more bold next time. perhaps i could even JOKE around about how i'd had a crush on my teacher. otherwise i feel like just giving up since i'm afraid of embarassing myself if he actually hates me.
Tyric Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I'm the same way as you in many of those types of situations -- too shy for my own good. Mind you, I'm indecisive to boot, so I get it twice as bad! It's come this far so I think you should go for it. I think it's safe to say he know how you feel. It will probably be more of a relief to him than anything when you approach him. He's a lucky guy, one way or the other.
Author daterhater Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 see, that makes me think if i made it obvious how i felt, he would know he has a shot and go for it if he liked me, but he didn't! haha. thanks for the response
lindya Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 You're a bit of all right aren't you, Tyric! Daterhater - I think the photography teacher is just a bit shy. Also, he maybe couldn't think of anything to say in response to your comment. Maybe just avoid using the word stalking again...even in jest. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a 31 year old guy who'd turn down a 22 year old girl on the basis that she was too young. Most 31 year old men probably only pretend to worry about women being "too young" when they're trying to pull women the same age as them
Author daterhater Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 so if he is interested, but just shy... where do i go from here? should i just try to talk to him each time i bump into him at a show? i won't know what to talk about next time! haha i used up talking about how my friend had wanted me to tell him hi! and if he's my ex teacher, he wouldn't be too embarassed to hang out with his exstudent, would he? i'd hope that wuoldn't scare him away!
Author daterhater Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 so if he is interested, but just shy... where do i go from here? should i just try to talk to him each time i bump into him at a show? i won't know what to talk about next time! haha i used up talking about how my friend had wanted me to tell him hi! and if he's my ex teacher, he wouldn't be too embarassed to hang out with his exstudent, would he? i'd hope that wuoldn't scare him away!
morrigan Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 You both go to the same concerts, if you run into him, talk about the music/bands you like. Ask him if he'd like to grab a bite to eat with you after the show. Or just plain ask him out on a date. If he says yes, great, if he says no, he's not the only cool guy out there. He sounds shy, and he'll probably be flattered a cute girl is asking him out for a change. Good luck!
Author daterhater Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 it's ten times scarier asking older guys out on dates. he could be 30 and i'm not quite 23. 30 year old dudes, how do you feel about younger girls asking you out?
browneyes22 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by daterhater it's ten times scarier asking older guys out on dates. he could be 30 and i'm not quite 23. 30 year old dudes, how do you feel about younger girls asking you out? I'm 28. If a 22 year old asked me out...I would say yes. But it's wierd 'cause I think a older guy's should do the asking. He is either shy or already has a girlfriend. There's only one way to find out...ask him.
Author daterhater Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 i know for a fact he doesn't have a girlfriend. okay, here's where i start sounding like a creep! woops! okay, so his second job is working some order processing job and i wrote him saying, "hi, i would like to order John's heart and have it sent to me via express love mail! thanks!" his coworker wrote back saying, "John is very tight with his heart. It has been broken many times. He wants to know who you are first." then John actually wrote my fake email address back asking who i was. i didn't want to tell him, so i stopped e-mailing him. i figure if i'm ever gonna talk to him in real life, i need to cut out that creepy ass fake email stuff and never mention it to him ever!
Author daterhater Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 also, whenever i see him, he's never with a girl. he usually shows up to the concerts alone and meets up with male friends. one time i saw him at the bar and he was just with a guy and the guy's girlfriend. it's pretty safe to say he's single. i wish i could date him because i so want to mend his broken heart!
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