Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I have been dating a girl for about a month now. We've had about five dates and this past weekend I spent the night at hers. We had sex (twice) and this was first time we slept with each other. It was a fun day and night and we seemed to both enjoy it. Is it weird that I haven't really heard from her since I said goodbye on Sunday morning? She's not a great texter in general so maybe I'm overreacting. I sent her a text after drive home letting her know I got home (as she requested) and I said I had a great time. No response so I messaged her that evening about a soccer match that was on that day. She replied, but only once and there's been nothing since. I dunno why but I have a 'feeling' something may be off. We've made loose plans to see each other this week but should I just wait for her to message me now? I like this girl and she told me she likes me too. Any thoughts?
oregon0011 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Just message her to see when she is free and make a date. As for her actions no idea. Could be a million things.
Vintage79 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Just chill dude - it's been a day, and your first message didn't warrant a response. She responded to your next message, and you're disappointed that she didn't send you a string of useless texts thereafter, even though you claim that she's not a good texter? Give it a day or two, and if you don't hear from her, contact her on the day before the loose date that you two were planning, at least if it's evident that contact should be in her court...give her a few days if it is, just to give her space if she needs it, but don't totally vanish. FYI - it's also possible that the sex was awful...bad bedroom performance will send a lot of people running for the hills. 2
Author Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Just chill dude - it's been a day, and your first message didn't warrant a response. She responded to your next message, and you're disappointed that she didn't send you a string of useless texts thereafter, even though you claim that she's not a good texter? Give it a day or two, and if you don't hear from her, contact her on the day before the loose date that you two were planning, at least if it's evident that contact should be in her court...give her a few days if it is, just to give her space if she needs it, but don't totally vanish. FYI - it's also possible that the sex was awful...bad bedroom performance will send a lot of people running for the hills. Haha I don't think it was cos of the sex, but it wasn't the best ever tbh.
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Just chill dude - it's been a day, and your first message didn't warrant a response. She responded to your next message, and you're disappointed that she didn't send you a string of useless texts thereafter, even though you claim that she's not a good texter? Give it a day or two, and if you don't hear from her, contact her on the day before the loose date that you two were planning, at least if it's evident that contact should be in her court...give her a few days if it is, just to give her space if she needs it, but don't totally vanish. ***FYI - it's also possible that the sex was awful...bad bedroom performance will send a lot of people running for the hills****. I vote for this^^... Guys aren't the only ones who can become turned off after sex ...as hard as it is for some of you guys to believe! 2
kilgore Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I vote for this^^... Guys aren't the only ones who can become turned off after sex ...as hard as it is for some of you guys to believe! Why is that hard to believe
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Haha I don't think it was cos of the sex, but it wasn't the best ever tbh. Don't be naive dude ... it's the most likely explanation, especially in light of your disclosure above (that the sex was bad). 1
Author Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Don't be naive dude ... it's the most likely explanation, especially in light of your disclosure above (that the sex was bad). If it was that bad, why did she want to do it for the second time (which was later on in the evening)?
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Why is that hard to believe Cause most guys believe once a chick has sex, she gets all *bonded* to him, wants a relationship, etc. Not true! We get turned off by bad sex just like they do! The OP himself just proved my point. He admitted the sex was bad, but said he doubted that was the reason she pulled back! 1
BLND Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 She was hoping the second time would be better. But perhaps it wasn't. 3
Author Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Cause most guys believe once a chick has sex, she gets all *bonded* to him, wants a relationship, etc. Not true! We get turned off by bad sex just like they do! The OP himself just proved my point. He admitted the sex was bad, but said he doubted that was the reason she pulled back! Never said it was bad. Just not amazing, which is common enough when you sleep with someone for the first time! 1
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 If it was that bad, why did she want to do it for the second time (which was later on in the evening)? I dunno, you said it wasnt great, but yet you apparently wanted it again too. Probably hoping it would be better the second time around. Anyway, that's my opinion. You have a better explanation? Seems rather obvious to me... but whatevs. 2
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Never said it was bad. Just not amazing, which is common enough when you sleep with someone for the first time! Why you so defensive about it..jeez. Why so hard for you to believe this could *possibly* be the reason? Cause you're such a stud? Lol Kilgore, you paying attention? 1
Author Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Why you so defensive about it..jeez. Why so hard for you to believe this could *possibly* be the reason? Cause you're such a stud? Lol Kilgore, you paying attention? No I won't deny that it could be the reason. It could be. Never said I was a stud, either. Just going by the fact that it was good (not great), we've told each other we like one another and have got along really well. I shall await developments.
SwordofFlame Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Her her communication style/frequency suddenly changed? If not, I wouldn't think there would be a problem. Were you expecting it to change after you two had sex?
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 (edited) Her her communication style/frequency suddenly changed? If not, I wouldn't think there would be a problem. Were you expecting it to change after you two had sex? I think no matter what her communication style is, when he texted her he had a great time, if she were still interested, she would have texted back that she did too. Especially since that "great time" included first time sex! Instead, she ignored. Almost as if to suggest she did not have a great time. Ouch! Then he texts her again, and receives a curt response back. Nothing since. Yah, she's pulling back for sure. Edited October 26, 2015 by katiegrl 2
Author Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 I think no matter what her communication style is, when he texted her he had a great time, if she were still interested, she would have texted back that she did too. Especially since that "great time" included first time sex! Instead, she ignored. Almost as if to suggest she did not have a great time. Ouch! Then he texts her again, and receives a curt response back. Nothing since. Yah, she's pulling back for sure. For my own sake, I hope you're wrong. How should I approach things though? Ask her out again or wait for her to talk?
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 For my own sake, I hope you're wrong. How should I approach things though? Ask her out again or wait for her to talk? I hope I am wrong too! I don't think you should do anything. She has pulled back, you should too. Let her reach out to you. If she is interested, she will. If she's not, she will fade out. Trying to look at this positively, perhaps she just needs a few days to emotionally absorb what happened. Seems unlikely, but possible. That said though, ignoring your text saying you had a great time was pretty darn cold IMO.
Lois_Griffin Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 If it was that bad, why did she want to do it for the second time (which was later on in the evening)? More than likely because you left her unsatisfied. Methinks you may have done that twice.
ASG Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I think no matter what her communication style is, when he texted her he had a great time, if she were still interested, she would have texted back that she did too. Especially since that "great time" included first time sex! Instead, she ignored. Almost as if to suggest she did not have a great time. Ouch! Then he texts her again, and receives a curt response back. Nothing since. Yah, she's pulling back for sure. I have to agree with Katie here... If I sleep with someone (or at least there's some sexy times, even if not full blown PiV) and they text me saying they had a great time and I had a great time as well, I literally cannot reply fast enough! With "hints" that we need to do it again very very soon. If, on the other hand, I wasn't particularly blown away, for whatever reason, I will be distant and might not engage in conversation that starts with "I had such a great time", because I don't want to lie or be rude. 2
oregon0011 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I have to agree with Katie here... If I sleep with someone (or at least there's some sexy times, even if not full blown PiV) and they text me saying they had a great time and I had a great time as well, I literally cannot reply fast enough! With "hints" that we need to do it again very very soon. Us guys wish it was all this simple with women..Many women wont text back right away if they like the guy.. Also, some women are just loopy.. If he went out with her 5 times, it seems odd she would give her body to him and THEN no longer want to talk to him..
Author Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Us guys wish it was all this simple with women..Many women wont text back right away if they like the guy.. Also, some women are just loopy.. If he went out with her 5 times, it seems odd she would give her body to him and THEN no longer want to talk to him.. Yep! And after both saying we like each other. I'll see how it goes and post an update possibly.
katiegrl Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Us guys wish it was all this simple with women..Many women wont text back right away if they like the guy.. Also, some women are just loopy.. If he went out with her 5 times, it seems odd she would give her body to him and THEN no longer want to talk to him.. What's odd about it? Both sexes will often lose interest if the sex was bad ....for them. Guys do this all the time, just read some of these threads from the ladies.. So why can't women?
Author Panatana90 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 What's odd about it? Both sexes will often lose interest if the sex was bad ....for them. Guys do this all the time, just read some of these threads from the ladies.. So why can't women? Confession. I have done this but it was with a girl who I wasn't that in to. I like this girl and it was me putting in most of the effort into the sex lol So if anyone wasn't bowled over, it was me. But again, I'll see what happens.
Leigh 87 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 It happens often. To me at least. .. I've often had sex or fooled around with a guy that I wasn't exactly into, in the hope that the sexual chemistry would be there; often, the chemistry still wasn't there.... Sex can really highlight when a connection is missing too....after trying to give a few guys a chance, the sex only made it more obvious that I lacked the spark. .. Sex with a guy that I am not giddy with excitement over and who I have mediocre or lukewarm chemistry with had even left me repulsed; their smell or touch or just my lacklustre experience turned me off many guys entirely. These guys weren't bad in bed at all....they just weren't for me.... I have immediately ended things after sex too...... some women just can'tcontinue without a spark or intense chemistry and first time sex often pinpoints the lack of amazing chemistry. When I have amazing chemistry the sex is never bad.. and the making out is still amazing even though first time sex is never usually explosive. .... when I am into a guy I am more apt to text back than before sex......... 1
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