Candy Cane Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Well...tomorrow I need to conduct some important business in a town close to where my ex lives and it would be really convenient for me to stay with him. I don't have a lot of money right now for a room and I know he'd let me. Would it be so terribly bad for me to ask to spend the night? If not, how shall I conduct myself? Obviously, I won't sleep with him or ask for him back.
SexKitten Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Candy Cane Would it be so terribly bad for me to ask to spend the night? If not, how shall I conduct myself? Obviously, I won't sleep with him or ask for him back oh, obviously, of course.
blind_otter Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I wouldn't, I'm too proud. But if you have that kind of relationship now, where you would feel comfortable asking...
Tyric Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Heck, you're both adults. Sure - ask him! Plus, if it is over and you're in full control of your emotions (ie. you wouldn't get hurt by i) there are always the benifits of sex with the ex. If that's REALLY not of interest, just make sure to make it perfectly clear from the start that you won't be sleeping together. Calls from the ex usually mean there's something more behind the request. Clarity is key! Good luck!
Author Candy Cane Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 He knows nothing will happen. I stayed with him last week and nothing did. He just wants to be "friends" I think...keep me hanging on while pursuing other interests. I don't know how I feel about him anymore...I just want a place to stay is all.
Tyric Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Candy Cane He knows nothing will happen. I stayed with him last week and nothing did. Well then, you're in the clear!
The Prototype Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 If you do, play it cool and remain aloof. Acting at all interested or mopey will be a power trip for the dude.
Author Candy Cane Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 I'm beginning to get second thoughts about staying with him. When I'm around him, he acts like nothing has happened between us. It drives me crazy.
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Candy Cane I'm beginning to get second thoughts about staying with him. When I'm around him, he acts like nothing has happened between us. It drives me crazy. That is not cool. It's disrespectful. See, this is why I totally advocate No Contact. It makes things less complicated.
The Prototype Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Which is why it HAS to be your attitude if you are going to do this. Sometimes we are drawn back to want to be around our exes, just to "bask in their presence", but until they feel as we do (or let on to that effect), it is ultimately unfulfilling. Have done it before, and just makes me sad or pissed.
Author Candy Cane Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 No. I called him a couple times last night. It didn't go well. First I said I didn't think "friends" would work out and then I called back and said "friends" would be okay so long as he understood the boundaries. That...I wasn't interested in getting back together, more or less, and that I needed space. Prior to this conversation he told me that he wasn't going to try and get me back. Regardless...I'm not staying with him. The bottom line to me is that he doesn't love me. I don't know if I love him either, but things are too messed up right now to stay with him. I will call him later tonight to tell him I won't be staying with him...after that, there will be no contact. I am resolved!!!
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Candy Cane No. I called him a couple times last night. It didn't go well. First I said I didn't think "friends" would work out and then I called back and said "friends" would be okay so long as he understood the boundaries. That...I wasn't interested in getting back together, more or less, and that I needed space. Prior to this conversation he told me that he wasn't going to try and get me back. Regardless...I'm not staying with him. The bottom line to me is that he doesn't love me. I don't know if I love him either, but things are too messed up right now to stay with him. I will call him later tonight to tell him I won't be staying with him...after that, there will be no contact. I am resolved!!! Good for you, mama! It's the best way, IMO. Now you can meet some hot foreign guy and have a passionate affair.
FolderWife Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 UM.....no If he dumped you, you'll look desperate. If you dumped him, he'll think you're wanting him back. And besides...twice in one month!?!?!?!?!?! Like you're going to take our advice any way
FolderWife Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Candy Cane No. I called him a couple times last night. It didn't go well. First I said I didn't think "friends" would work out and then I called back and said "friends" would be okay so long as he understood the boundaries. That...I wasn't interested in getting back together, more or less, and that I needed space. Prior to this conversation he told me that he wasn't going to try and get me back. Regardless...I'm not staying with him. The bottom line to me is that he doesn't love me. I don't know if I love him either, but things are too messed up right now to stay with him. I will call him later tonight to tell him I won't be staying with him...after that, there will be no contact. I am resolved!!! oh....... ......good *Monday now resolves to read more than 3 posts before answering...because she sounds like a moron *
Author Candy Cane Posted May 25, 2005 Author Posted May 25, 2005 I waited until he called and I told him briefly that I wouldn't be staying with him. I let it be sort of a surprise. I wanted him to anticipate my staying with him all day and then experience a feeling of let down. Be that mean or what, I wanted him to know what it feels like when I don't come a runnin'. He was disappointed and said that I would miss seeing his new comforter. I don't think he was implying that we'd have sex...just that he wanted to show off his new purchase. Regardless...I have a date tomorrow night with a hot new guy. Maybe he'll appreciate me more. You guys are great and I appreciate the support!! Thanks so much!!!
The Prototype Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Good job, congrats. Hope your date goes well, you deserve it
blind_otter Posted May 25, 2005 Posted May 25, 2005 Originally posted by Candy Cane I waited until he called and I told him briefly that I wouldn't be staying with him. I let it be sort of a surprise. I wanted him to anticipate my staying with him all day and then experience a feeling of let down. Be that mean or what, I wanted him to know what it feels like when I don't come a runnin'. He was disappointed and said that I would miss seeing his new comforter. I don't think he was implying that we'd have sex...just that he wanted to show off his new purchase. Regardless...I have a date tomorrow night with a hot new guy. Maybe he'll appreciate me more. You guys are great and I appreciate the support!! Thanks so much!!! No Problem, hon. Good job, I'm proud of you (and I don't even know you!! ). Have fun on your hot date. I hope he'll appreciate you more, too!
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