drseuss Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Just thought it would be intersting to hear everyone's nc situations , how long have you been in nc and what has happened along the way I've had 3 months nc now , dumped my ex of less that a year I was a rebound and haven't heard a thing since the day we broke up Feeling a hell of a lot better than I did a month ago !!
PegNosePete Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 4 years, 11 months. What happened along the way...? - Learned to play piano and joined a rock band - Learned to ski and go annually with new group of friends - Trekked to Everest Base Camp, went parascending and canyoning - Joined a hiking group, joined the committee and just re-launched the new website - Became one of the top leadership in a large online gaming community - Got a new GF who is totally amazing and better than the ex in every way possible 3
d0nnivain Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Of my last 3 relationships NC has been going on for 23 years 13 years 9 years Clearly I have had other relationships. I got married. I bought a house. I opened my own business. I traveled. NC is forever.
xxCourt96xx Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 (edited) About 48 days. I kept telling myself if I went NC he would realize how much he loved me and come back (he was the dumper)...but during this whole NC period, I found myself and who I was as a person...and I also found somebody else and he's already an upgrade from my ex. :o:o I went into this hoping and praying we'd get back together eventually, but now I have no desire to initiate contact with my ex again. Edited October 26, 2015 by xxCourt96xx 1
Meli22 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 With my most recent ex.. Split up in March, I broke nc in June for closure (I know people say it was a bad idea but it worked for me). He broke nc around August/September by following me on social media then messaging a few days later to say it was a mistake. That was it. Ex before that (broke up around 5 years ago) he tried to get me back for the first couple of years then stopped when he found out I had met someone I assume. He has the tendency to pop up now and then in an annoying way. He followed me on Instagram yesterday actually. No feelings for him whatsoever he's just like a bad smell that lingers. He dumped me too and I was devastated. Funny how things turn out.
Liono84 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 3 months NC from a 1 year LDR. When she broke up with me face to face, did everything I could to salvage it. Broke NC later that night when I had a panic attack. Called and texted her again, was in complete denial. Been in complete full blown NC since, haven't heard from her, and any slight chance that she may come back, is negated by the fact that she's in another state.
darkbloom Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Since December 22, 2014. I've been much happier since then. Found myself. Got back in shape. Dated a bit. Got promoted at work. Travelled.
Realitycol Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 No Contact should just be renamed Never Contact. I wouldn't even waste a second thinking back on when/where/how we broke up or count days. I used to just like everybody else, then I realized the amount of time and brain space I am wasting, hah. I rather think about how I'm going to treat myself and my new lover out on our next outing. 1
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Broke up july 6th been in no contact 3 weeks or more now I think, I emailed her asking her for closure really. But all I said was its been 3 months now and I would like to talk about what went wrong so I can use it as a learning curve seen the message and never replied to me and thats when i knew.
Realitycol Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 (edited) Broke up july 6th been in no contact 3 weeks or more now I think, I emailed her asking her for closure really. But all I said was its been 3 months now and I would like to talk about what went wrong so I can use it as a learning curve seen the message and never replied to me and thats when i knew. I don't think you are learning when you are reaching out to a girl, even worse, an ex-gf for advice to learn. That's the biggest no-no. Girls literally facepalm or laugh or delete that kind of things and pretend it was ever read. You don't need closure. Closures don't work for men, because they STILL don't get it. You're not the one. They CUT you off their life the moment they dumped you, do yourself a favor and seek all the relationship help you need on you own, not by asking your ex-gf... there are tons of self-help videos/websites that are free and readily available. Not talking about those that scam you or promise a ghost of your ex-gf to come back in your arms in 12 hours. There is a serious issue amongst people. Those who dwell in the past and/or live in the past. On the flip side there are those who worry too much about the future. Impatient, afraid, and unsure what the future holds. Then there's those who are content and live life and let beauty slip right on in their life and aren't blinded by "could've would've should've" past or the future and are able to grasp the things and people at opportune moments when they slip right in your alley. Edited October 26, 2015 by Realitycol 1
pidgeon1010 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 1 year relationship (calendar time. According to him "relationship time" felt like less. Alrighty then!). - Broke up with me in mid April. - We maintained contacted until first week in June (during this time discussed reconciliation and a possible short term LDR and me moving to him--he was moving to another state). - I quit responding to his emails in June because I didn't feel like he was making any effort to discuss our relationship and was more focused on getting his career back on track. I was waiting to be "picked" and I snapped and found my dignity. - Haven't heard from him since. Coming up 5 months NC. During NC: - Swimming lessons (suck at freestyle but trying). - Building friendships with a couple of acquaintances at my gym. - I love cooking but grad school and my career beat that out of me. I am now making a conscious effort to do more of that. Trying new healthy recipes. It's been fun! - Joined a trail/road biking group. - Run my first half-marathon. - Booked a trip to Fiji with a friend next month. - Online dating but boy is it rough out there lol. Haven't met anyone yet. I vacillate between hope and despair but I keep moving forward! 2
mightycpa Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 for all the ones that count for something, 39 years. 34 years. 29 years. still in occasional contact with this one 20 or so years. you see, after a relationship ends, NC is the natural order of things. You just have to get used to it. The first one sounds a lot more impressive when expressed in days. 14255 days of NC. I do remember the exact date. It was my first one, after all.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 (edited) for all the ones that count for something, 39 years. 34 years. 29 years. still in occasional contact with this one 20 or so years. you see, after a relationship ends, NC is the natural order of things. You just have to get used to it. The first one sounds a lot more impressive when expressed in days. 14255 days of NC. I do remember the exact date. It was my first one, after all. There are five worth remembering for me. 1) A few months to a year, I have no idea. Girl I dated off and on in high school. Facebook friends now. 2) 15.5 years. Broke up 19 years ago (she broke up with me), but I did see her around campus off and on until graduation. 3) 5-6 years. Was a mutual breakup in college. Caught up a bit way after for a brief time. Facebook friend but I never see her. 4) 4-5 years. Former co-worker. Also a Facebook friend I never see really. 5) A little over a year. Ran into her during the World Cup last year and had a couple brief chit-chats. No word since, though she randomly liked a picture I was in with her brother-in-law a month ago. Edited October 26, 2015 by Simon Phoenix
Samuel_22 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 One week I really regret responding to her message, I was so stupid, so so stupid. Except for that, 2 and half months, I am not happy with my progress at this time, it can be I made 2 mistakes along the way, you definitely feel better than I do, but I have started again. I will not make any mistakes this time, I have vowed not to make any other mistakes.
basil67 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I'd prefer to word it as "how long since you've been in contact with your ex?" For me, I last spoke to my most recent ex about 20 years ago, on the day of our divorce. Have had zero desire to contact him since.
parishes Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 9 weeks I disappeared and VANISHED from her life. Delete and blocked her from email, phone, fb, tumblr, instagram, everything - you name it. Zero desire to contact her back after I saw her true personality which was very manipulative. Life is short, and there's no point in having toxic people in your life.
contel3 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 First ex: he went nc, never heard from him again. Second ex: we still talk. Silly chitchat from time to time. Third ex: heard from him again after three years. Blocked him. Hope to never hear from him again.
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I don't think you are learning when you are reaching out to a girl, even worse, an ex-gf for advice to learn. That's the biggest no-no. Girls literally facepalm or laugh or delete that kind of things and pretend it was ever read. You don't need closure. Closures don't work for men, because they STILL don't get it. You're not the one. They CUT you off their life the moment they dumped you, do yourself a favor and seek all the relationship help you need on you own, not by asking your ex-gf... there are tons of self-help videos/websites that are free and readily available. Not talking about those that scam you or promise a ghost of your ex-gf to come back in your arms in 12 hours. I knew what I was playing at deep down, maybe if she agreed we could work on things I was saying to myself. but after she didnt reply I realized she did not care and if she did it wasnt enough. I was acting pathetically, the whole no contact thing is just keeping the small amount of respect I have left :/ for my sake I still have a lot to learn about myself and these things
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