I walked away and feel great

[ambitions]

For whatever reason, we weren't the gel we used to be like when we were in the honeymoon phase of 2 years.

 

It was both my and her faults. In the end, I got the hint and without bickering or yelling or name calling or fighting or arguing I told her my terms and left.

 

It was going sour a month ago. She started lining up replacements. She was casually seeing other people, because she thought what we had weren't worth pursuing. I was willing to work for it, but she threw in the towel and that was that.

 

If I am not worth pursuing for this woman, I need to find someone who wants to try to make the relationship work. In this day and age, where articles of marriage becoming extinct is popping up here and there, I WANT a woman who cherishes our relationship and wants to make it work.

 

I am not looking for a quitter. Or someone who seeks an easy way through life. I acknowledge obstacles and pains and look at them straight in the eye.

 

I'm not going to burst out in tears and plead and beg. Her mind is made and in the past relationships, none of those actions worked out and even when they did, I was just used for them to get over me again.

 

If I'm not worth her effort and her time, she's no longer worth mine. I'm a catch. Not saying I'm the best looking or most fit or all those physical or materialistic things, but I know my worth and I know I can go balls out for a woman I love and I don't hold back or act cheap, physically and emotionally.

 

I told her my terms. I said if I am not worth her time and not worth the effort I need to be apart from her. It's awkward to latch on to her while she's seeking someone else. I told her that and told her I am going to leave my doors open, but I am going to seek what I want and do what is best for me.

 

I genuinely wished her the best and that everything works out for the best. I blocked/removed her number. I deleted her off every social media, instagram, everything. I know she's not going to call and even if she did I am not going to be the "Plan B."

 

I am not worried. Worrying is a waste of my time and it affects me negatively mentally and physically. It's part of the big reason why so many Westerners are suffering from depression and anxiety and physical issues. I like having an upbeat and clear mental state. I have no time to ponder if she's sleeping with someone else. That's on her and her decision. If it makes her happy, so be it. Sure, she's selfish and I can act like a child and say "you're unfair!" However, everybody is different and everybody wants different things in life.

 

Some people want to get rich and buy a Ferrari. I, on the other hand, rather give that kind of money to an orphanage or someone who is actually not getting 3 square meals a day. I don't need a 2 story mansion. I rather give that money to charity. But hey! Not everyone shares my opinion. Same with what we want in our love lives.

 

All the best to everybody. Pursue your wants and make your own happiness. Don't expect an unicorn or some magical event/person to fill your needs.

Edited October 26, 2015 by ambitions

[Realitycol]

Follow this.

[sowhynot]

Agreed.

 

 

 

Although I'd have the Ferrari over the orphanage.

[greenleaves54]

Word! I'm a catch too. If they want out, they get out

 

Good post man. I like the attitude.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

You have such a great and positive mindset! I actually printed out your post and will re-read when I'm feeling down over my break up.

 

Thanks!

[Ryan_XD]

Great read, nice to see a a positive post about the end of a relationship.

 

I was in a similiar situation, my ex had started talking to other people as "friends", within a couple of months of us splitting up she started seeing one of these "friends" they're now in a relationship, I'm glad you had the brains and balls to get out before it got too bad.

 

A women will also try to hang on to someone until they've got a firm grasp on another man, that's what your partner was trying and you did the right thing by moving on.

 

Best of luck mate!

[ambitions]

Wow, thanks for the nice comments. There were times where I wanted to see what she was up to.. my thumb would hover over an app on my phone where I could stalk what she's up to, but I squished that thought out. I screamed inside my head how pathetic that is. How she's living the dream life and having an awesome day. She's not checking up on me. She moved on. Why care if she won a lottery or got married, I'm not part of that life anymore. I got my own to make great.

[ambitions]

Hey guys, just wanted to give an update. I just want to be brutally honest.

 

I feel great. It'd be a lie to say I don't think about her. She comes up once or twice a day. That's the part of leading a healthy and busy life.

 

I do miss her of course. What I don't miss is how it ended and how she behaved towards the end, but hey, that's all part of life. I mean who wouldn't feel a sense of loss or feel hurt by someone who said you're no longer worth it?

 

I understand, but at the same time it's selfish of her. I had a higher 'idea/standing' of her. I thought she'd be more resilient and more comprehensive. She didn't create that, I did. And she has the right to be selfish and choose what's best for her life.

 

I know she'll be great and I still wish her all the best.

 

However, I'm not losing sleep or feeling pain. I smile when I think about the past, because they were the past. I don't let it haunt or daunt me.

 

My friends and family have been very supportive. Eating/sleeping/living well.

 

Also enjoying the perks of being single. When women can sniff that out, it's not a bad thing! I'm not dating yet, but I do casually hang out.

 

I've set my mind that even if she contact me, I'd not go back to her. Not at this moment. I'm not going to force another girl or another relationship either. I just want to work on myself and accept the this break up as time for what I love doing in life.

 

THEN, if willing, I'm sure I'll run into another person to pass time with in a joyful manner.

 

I've made my mind and set into motion awhile ago that it's ultimately MY CHOICE to sit and grieve and count the losses OR get up and live life to the fullest and put on a smile, even if it's not 100% real.

 

I've been in these shoes before. I can be grumpy and sensitive and treat my coworkers/customers/friends/family poorly or I can smile and continue to do what I think is very important in life, which is to treat people, strangers and people I know, better each and every day. I know a lot of people got stresses and problems of their own, I don't need to add on to that. If I could impact someone's day to be a little brighter even for a second of their day, I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.

 

Ask yourself if you're in my shoes, do you want to be down and miserable for another day or want to get up and enjoy life?

 

Do you love animals and have a pet? Spend some quality time with your pets and treat them out. Don't get pissed and yell at them.

Love to cook? Cook a meal for yourself or your friends/family.

Love to travel? Get out there.

 

I choose to be forgive and I choose to let go and live life at the moment and not worry about the past or what's to come or when the next love will be.

 

I hope everybody can share some of what I said here and I hope it helps them through their darkest storms. The rain will stop and the sun will shine once again. Be strong, be patient, and trust.

Edited October 31, 2015 by ambitions