brokenhearted85 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Hi everyone, I'm a new member here. Still trying to process my breakup that happened a little over a month and a half ago. It was due to an age difference and he wanted to have some more life experience. (Aka go screw a bunch of girls because let's be real) anyways it was out of nowhere and left me in a catatonic state. I decided to go no contact, I didn't see the point in texting him or anything because it would prolong the pain. for the first few weeks he would text me about once a week checking up and I would be very short with him and not give him much in return. Then it was just silent on both of our ends for a few weeks (other than him watching my snapchat stories every once in a while) until he decided to text me again the other night saying he hopes I'm well, and he was thinking about me today. I ignored it. I mean what is there to say to that?! He doesn't get to hear about how I am doing, I'm not his gf anymore. The thing that pissed me off the most about the breakup was him saying he was still very much in love with me. Talk about a stab to the heart. Why do dumpers reach out when it's clear its over? I mean I haven't reached out one time since the breakup. It's always him initiating. And it always hurts like hell. And the messed up thing is, I feel soooo bad for ignoring him. That's not like me at all, in the past I gave him short answers like "thanks, you too" or whatever but I felt like I just didn't want to respond. And I somehow feel guilty for it. How do you think that made him feel? Do you think he understands why i ignored him? Thanks in advance for any insight. Xoxox
makemineamac Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 So sorry this is happening to you. Can you block him on your phone. And don't feel bad for ignoring him. Your mental health is more important than he is. Hang in there. 2
walkingonair Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Going through the exact same thing! Mine also has issues with commitment. So i completely stopped talking to him then he suddenly starts messaging me and i ignore and feel so awful cause I'm not the type to ignore. But he texts stuff like hope you're doing well and there's no point in responding. Its either relationship or leave me alone. Its great that you're ignoring! Don't respond, if you respond he'll know you're still there for him and he'll never change!! He'll just take you for granted and you deserve respect!!!!!! 1
PegNosePete Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 How do you think that made him feel? It made him feel that he is single now and that he can't have his cake and eat it. Do you think he understands why i ignored him? I don't know, but why do you care? He is your EX. His understanding or lack thereof, is not your concern any more. 1
opalant Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 who cares how he felt about you ignoring him, he broke up with you block him, then your problem will be solved, you won't feel bad for ignoring him because you won't even know when he tries to reach out, and eventually he'll stop, seeing these messages is going to stop you from moving on 1
Survivor12 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 "I decided to go no contact, I didn't see the point..." How do you expect him to know that he is infringing on your boundaries when you continued to respond? You chose NC, not him, so it's up to you to take the necessary steps to cut off avenues of contact. Block him wherever possible, change your number, and if he does manage to get through, delete his messages or VM without reading or listening to them. As for how he feels about it, unless he's stupid, he'll figure out that you don't want to talk to or hear from him. Besides--He's your ex. He dumped you. You owe him nothing. Why do you care what he thinks? I know it's hard. There's that little voice inside your head saying "but what if this time..." & the urge to hear his voice... I remember the first time that I ignored a call. I was a wreck. I felt as though I had just ruined any chance of happiness in my life. The second time, it was a little easier, and eventually, ignoring his attempts at contact (coming to my work & my home, sending messages via friends & family) became as easy as dismissing a telemarketer. It takes more than time to heal. It takes a commitment to protecting your heart by removing someone who causes you pain from your life permanently. He made the choice to end your relationship--you have the choice to put an end to the pain he causes you. So do it. 2
K2z Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Man, do I wish my dumper would break NC. I know that doesn't help, but it's honest. At least you have the option to slam the door. My door won't even pry open.
Recommended Posts