joseb Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Absolutely! I'm not sure what's going on with the OP - perhaps she is just insecure about the RL in general, and looking to find things to bytch about (or just get upset about), I dunno. Seems ridiculous (and rather possessive) to be upset or even concerned about him grabbing a few beers on his way home... once or twice a month. I think this is probably the real issue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 I used to go out with a guy who was a mad clubber (and proved to be untrustworthy) so I'm not into the whole bar/club scene when in a relationship. I don't really like that scene myself so I think it's fair that I find a partner who doesn't either. My partner still likes boy time but he tends to drink at friends houses or they drink at ours, or he plays pool or they work on cars. I don't really like clubs/bars that much and neither does he. We go sometimes though. Maybe it's an incompatibility? Some people live for the pub, clubs, bars. Other people hate them! Link to post Share on other sites
Author savvy2008 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Maybe I am over reacting? He has always been a party, fwb, wild kind of guy so I guess when I think of him going to the bars he used to always go to, to do those things, I wonder. I would dismiss it but he doesn't invite anyone, so I wonder if either a) he is going to get wasted and not tell me (he is also big on us both texting when we get home from going out, especially at night, but when he goes to a bar he says he'll text me the next day) or b) he has ex fwb's there and is either keeping those options open, still flirts with them, or doesn't want me knowing who they are/talking to him. I don't know. Possibly I'm feeling this way because I've caught him in little lies and I wonder if he lies about bigger things. One example is this morning. He told me about a girl (an ex fwb) he was texting about a show they both watch, and had the phone kind of leaned towards me inviting me to read what he wrote about that particular episode. However later than dayhe came to see me at work for break and said when he got hone he was going to catch up on the show. That there were spoilers on facebook and now he had to know. But...he forgot he already showed me the text confirming he saw it. Why lie? I don't think he realized I knew the chara ters names as I don't watch the show but I did recognize the name. Is this a red flag, to tell seemingly meaningless lies or is it normal? Link to post Share on other sites
Author savvy2008 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 So he goes to a bar twice a month to hang out and you have an issue with that? Seriously? Is he binge drinking? What is the wierd feeling? That he's cheating? That he's doing crystal meth? That he's enjoying himself without you? I'm trying to understand the issue here. The weird feeling is that he is lying about something. He gets visibly (slightly) tenser when he tells me about it although I have never made him feel bad about going or expressed concern, etc. I wonder about it but say nothing. He inches into telling me about going to the bar which I find odd. He's done this from the beginning. The way he tells me is as if he shouldn't be there and is like a guilty child trying to reason why they went into the cookie jar. But there is nothing wrong with going to a bar...hence my weird feeling about it. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 He inches into telling me about going to the bar which I find odd. He's done this from the beginning. The way he tells me is as if he shouldn't be there and is like a guilty child trying to reason why they went into the cookie jar. But there is nothing wrong with going to a bar...hence my weird feeling about it. It could be one of a couple of things - he does have something to hide or from your past interactions, he know's you overreact to things like this so is worried that you will overreact again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author savvy2008 Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 The only times I have ever reacted harshly were for legitimate reasons (one example being when we were broken up for a weekend, I made a thread about it, and he trash talked me to his friends and family even though I did nothing wrong). I'm trying to figure out why something feels off. Is it a compilation of little things happening that mean nothing, but together look like they could mean something; or do those little things really mean nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
new2dating123 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I dont know about anyone else here but i feel different about being with a girl to the point we are dating regularly and have labled it GF/BF . am a guy BTW . What ever happened to respect and the loving caring part of being with another person and doing stuff for eachother that builds eachother up and stop all the wierd stuff and be a real man or woman . Link to post Share on other sites
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