Confusedovo Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Ok so I'm talking to quite a few guys at the moment. And through my whole dating experiences I've noticed this. There are two categories: The wanting to text every day, most of the day. Say things like "do you not want to talk anymore?" If I haven't replied in a while. (I'm talking maybe 30 mins to an hour, not days) calls me babe and beautiful etc. Basically comes on quite strong. Of course there are extremes too, where the guy announced his love before we ever meet, but I don't entertain the extremes!!! The text maybe once a day, but often won't reply back when you reply. Or if they do they will reply hours later if not the next day. But they always text you again the next day. And half of these guys from either category won't ask me out for a date. Or if they do they let me down. And a lot of em end up ghosting too. Is this just my experience??? Which category is more interested or isn't it clear? A side question: One of the guys i speak to (in the first category n probs gives me the most attention right now) asked if I get loads of guys msg me (which is awkward) so I say "I guess...do you speak with a lot of women?" (wish I never even asked, it was more just making convo than anything else) and he replies "lol not that many babe" what do I even say to that? I've not said anything but he will probe text back again soon. Why would he ask that? Is that odd?
carhill Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 IMO, if you want to go on dates, focus in on men who ask you on dates, via whatever means, and ignore the keyboard romeos. I first ran into this a couple decades ago when the internet was new and I got some sound advice regarding dating women from the FSU (Eastern Europe). They despised guys who wrote letters, later e-mails, for months and never visited. That milieu, and having a dating plan and executing it without hesitation, is what resulted in dating success abroad and back here at home too. Being decisive and up-front. If you don't want to ask a guy out, OK. Simply ignore the chatters and focus in on the ones who forward a plan. If that's none, OK, it's none. 1
Guyouthere Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I believe what you are writing about is the overuse of "rules" that have unofficially been established by the dating pool out there. Everyone wants to either "do things by the book", or simply be a total a__, not caring about the person on the other end. It is why I am reluctant to get into it all now. I am not an expert on when to, how, send texts, etc. All I know is a person should be who they are. Act respectful. If someone doesn't care, treats you disrespectfully, leave. Somehow society did better back in the old days.
menyou Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Is all of your communication via text? Why bother? If these guys won't meet up it is a waste of your time. I am incredibly selective of whom I choose to communicate with and if I don't meet them within a few days of initial communication, I'm out.
Author Confusedovo Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 I guess the key is to only take the ones who take me on dates seriously. Anything else is just talk, and we all know actions speak louder right. Meeting after a few days? I wouldn't feel too comfortable with that. Buy I don't like to leave it long either. About a week would be ideal for me. As I do like to do a bit of chatting first . I have a few dates set up atm. But the thing is guys throw around "I cant wait to meet you" "I will take you out on Friday" etc for it to never happen. Its just so hard to get excited about anyone anymore.
mrs rubble Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I guess the key is to only take the ones who take me on dates seriously. Anything else is just talk, and we all know actions speak louder right. Meeting after a few days? I wouldn't feel too comfortable with that. Buy I don't like to leave it long either. About a week would be ideal for me. As I do like to do a bit of chatting first . I have a few dates set up atm. But the thing is guys throw around "I cant wait to meet you" "I will take you out on Friday" etc for it to never happen. Its just so hard to get excited about anyone anymore. I tried online dating for about 5 years after my marriage broke up. I'd never try it again. I had 2 relationships during that time, with guys I met in real life. The majority of the guys I met on OLD were dodgy in some way...there was one the police later contacted me about......there was the married guy that works with me...there was the muslim professor who insisted my christianity was compatible with his religion....there was the 50yo student with no job and a huge student loan...The whole experience was like a freakshow. I did make some good friends though, who I remain friends with to this day. I met my fiance at the local nudist club, he was on the same dating site I was on, and there is no way in the world I would've gone out with him based on his page there...I would've immediately shunned him based on his height and weight, and I would never have known how kind, funny, loyal and caring he was..so I guess what I'm trying to say is join a club or something to meet new people in real life, it beats OLD any day!
Guyouthere Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 I tried online dating for about 5 years after my marriage broke up. I'd never try it again. I had 2 relationships during that time, with guys I met in real life. The majority of the guys I met on OLD were dodgy in some way...there was one the police later contacted me about......there was the married guy that works with me...there was the muslim professor who insisted my christianity was compatible with his religion....there was the 50yo student with no job and a huge student loan...The whole experience was like a freakshow. I did make some good friends though, who I remain friends with to this day. I met my fiance at the local nudist club, he was on the same dating site I was on, and there is no way in the world I would've gone out with him based on his page there...I would've immediately shunned him based on his height and weight, and I would never have known how kind, funny, loyal and caring he was..so I guess what I'm trying to say is join a club or something to meet new people in real life, it beats OLD any day! You can still gather them all together and create your own circus. Travel the country, charge admission. Please keep the tigers in the cage, and elephants confined to the Mcdonalds parking lot
xcupid Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Tell them you don't text. If they don't step up and ask you out...NEXT!
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