Miko Yan Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I'm having a hard time letting go of this girl, that dumped me 3 months ago on my birthday via text for no apparent reason other than she wanted to "be alone" (jeez). It turned long distance the last month so I'd like to think that was the real reason. Problem is, she was not only my first serious relationship (I'm 26, she's 23, it lasted 10 months), but she was my only friend too. I still talked to her for like 6 weeks but I couldn't take it anymore after she told me she had feelings for someone else, so I wrote her a love farewell poem, hoping I would be strong enough not to contact her and her forgetting about me altogether NC from me lasted a month, but she started throwing what you all here call "Breadcrumbs", thing i never thought she would do because of her pride so I totally fell for them... I told her i hated her for doing that to me and that she was a terrible person, that i didn't want to be friends with someone like that and to never contact me again. 4 days ago she apologized, going as far as telling me the guy that once answered for her when i called one night was gay and that there was nothing between them, that she didn't have a boyfriend and that she still loved me... Of course I told her I couldn't believe she was a slut because I still wanted her and told her i hoped she felt better (albeit in a slightly sarcastic tone). Her only response: yes I feel better... I got mad and told her, is that all you have to say??? She said, you told me to never contact you so I'll respect that (except for her only benefit, it seems).. So all her apologies were a lie?? can a person really say I love you, just to feel better with themselves??? if so, this world is even uglier than I thought it was... Sorry for being this pathetic, but I can't let go of her even after all she's done, even if it causes me enough pain to even distract me on my job.. I told her not to contact me again but inside I want her to contact me, just to ignore her and make her feel as bad as I'm feeling.. I still check up my phone just to see a message for her, even breadcrumbs, which I'm sure it won't come anymore.. I am quite shy and have a practically null social circle, can one be to lonely to ever move on from a failed relationship??...
opalant Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 block her so that you're not waiting for these messages that aren't going to come from her, even if she does send a message it's better that you don't see it because it only hurts you, pro longs your healing and you'll inevitable cave and not ignore the message like you say, whereas if you block her she'll think you're ignoring her is there anyway you could go out for a drink with work colleagues or join some kind of clubs, maybe re connect with some old friends and speak to your family so you don't feel as lonely, it's hard but you need to force yourself out there, loneliness will make you go back to people that don't deserve you
Author Miko Yan Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Thank you for your kind words opalant, you are so right about what loneliness makes one go to, the irony is that I didn't find this girl particularly charming in the beginning (dare I say I just was.. lonely?) but she managed to find a way into my heart.. just to literally rip it out my chest.. ouch I realized that for the last 2 months everything she said was just for her own benefit, and even if i kept responding she will either ignore what I say or, which i think is worse, lie.. I always thought it was better to be alone than to be with people that don't even respect you enough to tell you the truth, well before her anyway, and I think I forgot my true self.. Closure is not something I'll ever get from her, she made me realize yesterday, so here goes day 1 of NC again .
opalant Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 No one ever hardly gets closure after a break up, the only closure you'll get is that you're broken up now, that's it, focus on that, because often times when the dumpee asks for closure it's not what they want to hear or the dumper just says a load of rubbish to get you to stop asking, it doesn't matter what the real reason is behind it, focus on moving on, block her, go out and take your mind off it, learn new hobbies at home by yourself too to get used to being alone sometimes. Block her so that you can keep NC, speaking to her will not make you feel any better. Hope you feel better soon and you can always private message me! 1
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