RoxStar Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 What is the definition of closure and is there really any such thing? I am just curious to hear different opinions and not really in relation to anything specific. I personally dont know if closure really exists since I havent really had closure with my current situation and my prior situation I moved 650 miles away and that was forced closure that I chose to do to my self for that reason. I was afraid that if I stayed where I was I wouldnt be able to resolve my issues surrounding my relationship of 10 years that had just ended. I am a huge supporter of NC but I wonder if that doesnt become something that blockes the closure process???
LittleMiss Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I hear about closure all the time, but I really don't think it's important. It's just another excuse to break NC IMO. I think when our SO tells us it's over we want answers. Why? What changed? What did I do? We want to know these answers so we can make changes in order to keep the relationship going. Sometimes it works and the relationship will linger on for a few more months and then finally come to an end, but it still ends. It's not really closure that we are asking for. I've seen several post where people want closure and their SO refuses to give that to them. To me, it's not important. If we ask for answers there will just be more questions and I don't think it will ever end.
Pocky Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by RoxStar What is the definition of closure and is there really any such thing? Having the information necessary to answer the questions one has regarding the causes of a failed relationship. While I think closure is important and should try to be implemented in any relationship that ends, whether it's romantic or platonic, I don't think that it's a requirement to implementing and succeeding with no contact. It's hard to not know why someone left or stopped loving you, but it's not impossible to move on without the answers.
blind_otter Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by RoxStar What is the definition of closure and is there really any such thing? I am a huge supporter of NC but I wonder if that doesnt become something that blockes the closure process??? Closure is a peace you come to, inside your own head, regarding a negative situation or the end of a relationship. I talked about this with my therapist and came to some conclusions - closure doesn't require the participation of the other party, especially when the loss of a loved one is involved. NC is what allowed me to gain closure to my abusive relationship. If I had maintained contact and continued to pick at the scab, the wound would have remained open for a long time, and left a huge scar on my heart.
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