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what do men think of TOO much make-up and who overdress? (& more...)

HansonGirl

By HansonGirl
in General Relationship Discussion

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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preface: this happened to me so i think my perception is biased - also i'm a woman, not a man, so i don't know how men think about this....

 

I had dated "Joe" and long story short, it didn't last. But I still liked him. There was always that "tension" between us or whatever. Anyways, Joe started dating this girl "Donna." I didn't really know that much about Donna to be honest. I've only talked to her a few times, and she seemed nice enough. I also know that when they first started dating, someone posted some photos at a party, and she, who is a little bit chunky, is dressed like a prostitute, meaning she has on fishnet stockings (who wears that), 5-inch heels, a short dress that is cut down to like her bellybutton. She is leaning against a wall, and Joe is in the picture chatting with her, blatantly staring at her chest in the photo. Everyone else in the photo is dressed more casually, including the girls. Something about it made me think he's only going to use her sexually, and I judgmentally thought she doing the only thing she knew how to do to get his attention. Then after that he started showing up in her facebook profile photos, but always with at least one other person - so i assumed that it was casual, she wanted people to know, but knew that she couldn't put up a pic of just the two of them.... I know this because I've been there in my life in the past. She is a lot younger than me and Joe

 

anyways, months later, when they were still "together" I attended a lunch event at this restaurant's outdoor patio during a weekday for graduate students. First Donna shows up, and again she is completely over dressed. She has on like 4-inch heels, and a dress. Looks like she's dressed to go to a spring wedding. but the most striking thing i notice, is the amount of make up she has on. i had never really looked at her that close-up during the day i suppose, and she has make up CAKED ON. I have never seen anybody wear that much make up in my life, especially during the week. Then Joe shows up separately, and he greets both of us in the same way. You would never know the two of them are together based on that. Then after the lunch i noticed they leave separately, barely even saying goodbye to each other.

I know that after this, they continued to see each other. But anyways i just thought every interaction i had with them was weird - like, what kind of relationship is that? I almost felt bad for her in a way. But i do know that they were like "official" after that, although it didn't last... they are no longer together

 

anyways, is that how relationships work these days? you have to dress like a hooker, lure the man in with sex and then hope that he makes a commitment? Man that is so depressing - i don't know if i could do that.... And what do men think of caked-on make-up? I mean is that attractive to men? it didn't look very nice to me. I mean she had way too much foundation on. Seriously guys, do you like it? I wear make up - but not that much... and if i were going to wear that much, I'd learn how to do it properly so that you can't tell how much i am wearing. I wear eye make up, and blush and stuff, but not too much foundation, especially during the day like that... if i do, i wear a small amount. the idea is to make it look natural.

was it just the lighting perhaps?

 

i am asking because i feel like my perspective may not be right- i know maybe i'm a little bitter.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Doesn't matter....She could be a Cyclops...Its none of your business..

 

He's moved on and you haven't....Its as simple as that..

 

Sorry to be harsh...But its the reality and you need to accept it and forget about him and who he wants...

 

TFY

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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Doesn't matter....She could be a Cyclops...Its none of your business..

 

He's moved on and you haven't....Its as simple as that..

 

Sorry to be harsh...But its the reality and you need to accept it and forget about him and who he wants...

 

TFY

 

right but i want to know in general, do men like caked-on make up?

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Everyone is different. I've been to places in the world where a person is socially shunned if not 'overdressed' (to my local customs), and the opposite, where other than 'California casual' is soundly derided as poor social form.

 

Do women lure men with sex? Yes! Is dressing in a manner which men consider sexy a part of that? Yes!

 

My exW used to call it 'putting on the dog' and, when she and her girlfriends did so, well, men circled. That's known as power. Sexual power. It works. Does a woman have to do it to have relationships? IMO, no. It's a personal choice and we all have personal freedom of expression.

 

Myself, I certainly did enjoy it when exW would put on the dog and we'd go out on a marital 'date'. One, she looked sexy. Two, I knew how much effort she put into the show and valued that. Three, it was fun, something she voluntarily did (I made no requests nor had any input) and apparently enjoyed.

JustGettingBy Established Member

JustGettingBy

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I think that if a woman put on that much make up and dressed like that to lure me in, then stopped doing so when the relationship started, I would feel lied to. What she did to start might ever so slightly boost her chances of getting my attention, but I'd want someone who didn't conduct herself in that way for a long term relationship.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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I just want to add one more thing for clarification - the ancedote i shared is something that happened in the past, and is what i was thinking at the time, and still wonder about, this is years ago, and he and the girl aren't even together any more.... i just wanted to clarify in case that wasn't clear . i don't want my actual question to get lost in the details or people thinking it's about that. i was recalling a story, and how i noticed her makeup was caked-on

central Established Member

central

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right but i want to know in general, do men like caked-on make up?

 

I would say no - I certainly don't! And I don't like women who obviously dress for sexual attention - but there is a time and place for that. I prefer minimal makeup and tasteful clothing - it can be a little flirty, but in-your-face sexuality is only going to appeal to men of little substance, IMO.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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yes, to be honest, my thought when i saw the photo was like, discomfort, and the thought that i'd be absolutely mortified if someone posted a pic like that of me where the guy i was talking to was too busy staring at my t!ts, and posted on facebook for all to see.

Edited by HansonGirl
Imported Established Member

Imported

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You are going to get guys on here that will say 'No they don't like it!!'

 

Until they see a girl that they like regardless.

 

And then when the girl breaks up with them, they'll be like 'she was so fake' or whatever.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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I just want to add one more thing for clarification - the ancedote i shared is something that happened in the past, and is what i was thinking at the time, and still wonder about, this is years ago, and he and the girl aren't even together any more.... i just wanted to clarify in case that wasn't clear . i don't want my actual question to get lost in the details or people thinking it's about that. i was recalling a story, and how i noticed her makeup was caked-on

 

Point is that it happened years ago and you are still bugged about it....

 

I doubt highly that he went another route because you didn't wear enough make up or didn't dress trashy enough...And even if it did, would that change how you orchestrate your life moving forward?...I doubt it, nor should it...

 

Some guys like skinny women, some like heavy...some like make up, and some like a natural look.. Its a vague question that has no real answer...

 

TFY

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Another factor muddying the waters is that, like women, men change their mind about things. A man might like one girlfriend or wife 'natural' and another 'too much makeup and over-dressed'. Heck, he might like the same woman both ways on different days. Any linear thinking in men is pounded into us at a young age. All that 'never change' stuff. We can change our mind just as freely and without care as women do. It's part of being human. However, if desiring a man who never changes, they are available. Just keep looking. Older men, like myself, are usually the best bets. We're really set in our ways. Very predictable.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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And even if it did, would that change how you orchestrate your life moving forward?...I doubt it, nor should it...

 

Some guys like skinny women, some like heavy...some like make up, and some like a natural look.. Its a vague question that has no real answer...

 

TFY

 

 

to answer your question, obviously it didn't. btw, what does "TFY" mean?

 

and believe what you will about me being "bothered" by it, I can't change the way you feel. To be clear, it doesn't "bother me" in the sense that it keeps me up at night or anything like that. I just remember it, and how I felt. And I recently had a similar situation happen with someone else, that caused me to recollect this story. I actually knew upon posing the question that it would come off that I am "bothered" by it, i was fully aware of that, but I don't know how else I could possibly relate that story without it coming off in that way. I am describing how i felt at the time. Do i still see these people? no, have I dated other people since then? yes. Do i cake on the make up and wear six-inch heels now? no. Something about when people respond to such a story with "move on already" that really irritates me. it's like, does that mean you think I am sitting at home, being unable to sleep at night because this happened a few years ago? That's so close-minded, short-sighted, and dismissive. I have "moved on" why can't i reminisce and wonder about something I was always curious about, that I never fully understood? what's so wrong with that?

 

Refocusing the discussion: my question is what goes through a man's head when he sees someone who cakes on the make up, or takes lots of selfies, posting a new one every other day? is that attractive? I honestly have no idea what men find attractive... i am not trying to ask in a judgmental way, i am seriously wondering if it is. It's more like a [shrug] "oh, ok." sort of thing.

 

and i am not even talking about a LOT of make up - i am talking about like someone who doesn't even know how to wear make up because it's terribly applied.

Edited by HansonGirl
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted (edited)
to answer your question, obviously it didn't. btw, what does "TFY" mean?

 

and believe what you will about me being "bothered" by it, I can't change the way you feel. To be clear, it doesn't "bother me" in the sense that it keeps me up at night or anything like that. I just remember it, and how I felt. And I recently had a similar situation happen with someone else, that caused me to recollect this story. I actually knew upon posing the question that it would come off that I am "bothered" by it, i was fully aware of that, but I don't know how else I could possibly relate that story without it coming off in that way. I am describing how i felt at the time. Do i still see these people? no, have I dated other people since then? yes. Do i cake on the make up and wear six-inch heels now? no. Something about when people respond to such a story with "move on already" that really irritates me. it's like, does that mean you think I am sitting at home, being unable to sleep at night because this happened a few years ago? That's so close-minded, short-sighted, and dismissive. I have "moved on" why can't i reminisce and wonder about something I was always curious about, that I never fully understood? what's so wrong with that?

 

Refocusing the discussion: my question is what goes through a man's head when he sees someone who cakes on the make up, or takes lots of selfies, posting a new one every other day? is that attractive? I honestly have no idea what men find attractive... i am not trying to ask in a judgmental way, i am seriously wondering if it is. It's more like a [shrug] "oh, ok." sort of thing.

 

and i am not even talking about a LOT of make up - i am talking about like someone who doesn't even know how to wear make up because it's terribly applied.

 

 

You are being disingenuous...and you are being unfairly judgmental...

 

If it didn't bother you, we wouldn't have gotten the background story...years later, no less...so cut the bullcrap already...:rolleyes:...This topic should have been erased from your memory eons ago...Be honest with yourself..

 

It could have been anything...

 

If the woman he was with had a big nose or a flat chest, you would probably ask if guys like women with big noses or small tits...and knock women that have those traits..

 

Its a question with no real answer, that's why you haven't gotten any...Nor should it matter enough to you to post a thread about it...especially years later...

 

The simple reason why you shouldn't "reminisce and wonder" is that there is zero ryhme or reason for attraction...What one guy likes another guy hates....and vice versa....Same for women...

 

Sorry...I really dont want to make you feel shytty, just reading the tea leaves..

 

TFY

Edited by thefooloftheyear
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Male Established Member

Male

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Too much makeup is an absolute deal breaker for me. Total turnoff when women cake their face like that. It screams insecurity. Be who you are, dont try to paint yourself into being a different person.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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I think women (especially in your case where the woman in question is the new gf of your ex) might pay a lot more attention to another woman's outfit, hair and makeup than a man might. I am convinced that heterosexual women often see very different things when they look at a woman than when a man does.

 

I saw a meme once for example where they had two side by side picture of a woman. In one side of the pic it said "What a man sees when he looks at this woman" and it was more of a zoomed in picture of her butt and in the other picture it circled her hair to show where one of her hair extension tracks was showing and it said "What a woman sees." I found it hysterical and could see how in many cases that may very well be true.

 

Some men like a lot of make-up, some don't, many seem not to have any preference either way as long as they like the woman and are attracted to her. What is too much make up or considered overdressing by one may be fine for another. It's all a matter of individual preference and not anything that ALL MEN agree on. Joe is dating Donna, so he obviously finds her attractive, caked on makeup, 4 inch heels to the day party, or not. You're probably a lot more critical of Donna than Joe and other men are. Don't be worried about what Donna is or isn't doing and whether men like it or not. Do you. Some man will like who you are and some will like the Donnas of the world, that's life...variety is the spice and to each his or her own.

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TheArtist Established Member

TheArtist

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To be honest, no. Too much makeup is horrible. I can't speak for every man, obviously, but in general I think the majority prefer the natural look for a relationship and caked in makeup look if they're looking for sex.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I think the actions you should be analysing are your own. Why do you feel the need to judge another woman so harshly? And why can't you let go of this?

 

You sound like an intelligent woman. But this post does not reflect well on you.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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You are being disingenuous...and you are being unfairly judgmental...

 

If it didn't bother you, we wouldn't have gotten the background story...years later, no less...so cut the bullcrap already...:rolleyes:...This topic should have been erased from your memory eons ago...Be honest with yourself..

 

It could have been anything...

 

If the woman he was with had a big nose or a flat chest, you would probably ask if guys like women with big noses or small tits...and knock women that have those traits..

 

Its a question with no real answer, that's why you haven't gotten any...Nor should it matter enough to you to post a thread about it...especially years later...

 

The simple reason why you shouldn't "reminisce and wonder" is that there is zero ryhme or reason for attraction...What one guy likes another guy hates....and vice versa....Same for women...

 

Sorry...I really dont want to make you feel shytty, just reading the tea leaves..

 

TFY

 

hah, don't worry you aren't making me feel shytty. I don't feel shytty by strangers on the internet. Just makes me think you and I just don't share the same sort of sentimentalities and probably wouldn't get along in real life. I guess we'll agree to disagree. I don't agree that there is some sort of cut-off at which point you're not allowed to think about stuff any more, or if you do, you should be scolded for not being "over it" like the other person obviously is, whatever that means. I don't have a memory eraser, where do you get one of those?

Despite what you're saying, i have been getting many responses, apart from yours, so I'm sorry, but I am really not sure what you're talking about.

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HansonGirl Established Member

HansonGirl

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I think women (especially in your case where the woman in question is the new gf of your ex) might pay a lot more attention to another woman's outfit, hair and makeup than a man might. I am convinced that heterosexual women often see very different things when they look at a woman than when a man does.

 

I saw a meme once for example where they had two side by side picture of a woman. In one side of the pic it said "What a man sees when he looks at this woman" and it was more of a zoomed in picture of her butt and in the other picture it circled her hair to show where one of her hair extension tracks was showing and it said "What a woman sees." I found it hysterical and could see how in many cases that may very well be true.

 

Some men like a lot of make-up, some don't, many seem not to have any preference either way as long as they like the woman and are attracted to her. What is too much make up or considered overdressing by one may be fine for another. It's all a matter of individual preference and not anything that ALL MEN agree on. Joe is dating Donna, so he obviously finds her attractive, caked on makeup, 4 inch heels to the day party, or not. You're probably a lot more critical of Donna than Joe and other men are. Don't be worried about what Donna is or isn't doing and whether men like it or not. Do you. Some man will like who you are and some will like the Donnas of the world, that's life...variety is the spice and to each his or her own.

 

haha, true dat! that meme is accurate. I agree with it, especially with me, i notice every thing! my friends call me a detective.

Got it Established Member

Got it

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hah, don't worry you aren't making me feel shytty. I don't feel shytty by strangers on the internet. Just makes me think you and I just don't share the same sort of sentimentalities and probably wouldn't get along in real life. I guess we'll agree to disagree. I don't agree that there is some sort of cut-off at which point you're not allowed to think about stuff any more, or if you do, you should be scolded for not being "over it" like the other person obviously is, whatever that means. I don't have a memory eraser, where do you get one of those?

Despite what you're saying, i have been getting many responses, apart from yours, so I'm sorry, but I am really not sure what you're talking about.

 

Hanson, I think what TFY (shortening of his name) is saying is that this wasn't some pattern you were seeing with multiple guys that led you to this question. This is one guy, one girlfriend, that stayed stuck in your head. And the question is why? You aren't seeing a trend of this behavior or you would have included that in your OP. I think feeling the need to have included that this was someone you dated, and that there was still a "vibe" is at least a subconscious "tell" that you still had some feelings for him and this bothered you. And they question is why?

 

Some guys will date a very variety group of women especially in their younger years. Some will only date girls who are similar in one area or another. Women are like this as well. So maybe he was trying out his wild side, maybe he liked her independence, maybe a host of possibilities.

 

And your story is changing some. First you say the make up is "caked on" which indicates that there is a lot. They you say no, not a lot of make up but applied incorrectly. I feel like you WANT men to say no they don't like it. And what does this information do for you? Are you considering adjusting your attire or beauty regimen? Do you feel you have been rejected for not accepting these areas of difference?

mystikmind2005 Established Member

mystikmind2005

Posted
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Makeup is not important..... however, dark eyeliner is just horrible, why do some women want there eyes to look like asseholes, seriously!!!

 

I do appreciate a short skirt.... but not in public, i mean in private where i can do something about it, lol

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