RoxStar Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 So my friends hung out with my ex and his ex gf again this weekend. Its been every weekend for the last month that they double date or do things together. I even asked my friend on Friday to do something on Saturday and her reply was that she wasnt going to do anything but hang with her husband and do stuff around their house. Well as usual come Monday I find out they all hung out/grilled out on Saturday. Its been every weekend for the last month! I know they are all still friends with him and I know they are friendly with her but I am really feeling totally ditched all together. I tried to talk to my friend about it a week or so ago and she got all defensive. She basically said she feels very torn between he and I. Well thats all good but she hardly hangs out with me anymore and thats is really bugging me. My ex is still claiming that he and his ex are just buddies but yet they hang out all the time. A guy I know from the bar we used to all hang out in said he heard that my ex has a new gf and that my friend introduced him to her as the new gf. I just dont understand why he/they cant be honest with anyone about what is going on with them?? I havent talked to him this came from my friend that has been ditching me that he is still claiming to be just hanging out with her and not officially back together yet she is introducing her to people as my ex's new gf. Is it me or does it seem people arent being totally upfront with me? I am no longer trying to figure out why this is going on or what he is doing with her since there is no real answer to that, but I guess now I am just focusing wanting him to at least admit that he is with her. Why cant he just admit it??? Things are so so different now in my life and honestly I hate it. I hate how things are and I am really angry with him for doing this and putting me in this position of being an outsider in what my world was. Part of me really wants to call him to see if he will admit they are back together but I am at one week of NC. We havent seen each other in a month and even though we spoke last Monday we have had very little contact. I know that complete NC is the way to go. I know some people are going to read this and reply to just stop thinking about it. I know that. Please dont reply and tell me not to think about it. I am an analyzer. I think about everything. Its just the way my brain works. Everyday is a different emotion. Today for some reason I am really missing him and really missing my old life. Tomorrow I might feel different. I am just really frustrated and annoyed. Its obvious my friends have made a choice about who to hang out with and its not me.
outdated Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I am like you Rox, I like to think things out. I think the important thing to do is to not react until you've fully thought it out. The more you think, the more time goes by before you act, and right now, I don't think doing anything will bring a favorable reaction. My question is Do you want him back? The posts you have seem to conflict about this, and I understand that is normal- part of the grieving and understanding part of a break up. Do you see him in your future? If not, then you will have to just let it all go. I'm sure a girl like you can make new friends .
Author RoxStar Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by outdated My question is Do you want him back? The posts you have seem to conflict about this, and I understand that is normal- part of the grieving and understanding part of a break up. Do you see him in your future? If not, then you will have to just let it all go. I dont want him back but I want my life back. I want my friends back and I want to feel comfortable in my own surroundings and currently I dont. I dont see him in my future. At one point I did but there have been so many lies in the last month that I dont even want to be his friend. I guess I have just been searching or longing for some truth in all of this. I do have other friends and I have been keeping busy but things are just very different and I am having a had time adjusting right now.
TheBarnacle Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I know some people are going to read this and reply to just stop thinking about it. I know that. Please dont reply and tell me not to think about it. I am an analyzer. I think about everything. Its just the way my brain works. as a recovering "overthinker", i sincerely can empathize. but since you like to analyze things, maybe ask why it matters to you whether he admits it or not? i havn't familiarized myself with your story, so i don't know who ended it, etc. but...i can say that regardless of those specifics, you need to get back control of your world...your life. and you need to take actions that will lead to you having your life back. i can't imagine analyzing (obsessing???) about him and his new/old g/f and why he won't admit she's more than just a buddy (whew!! deep breath) is doing you a whole lot of good. if he admitted his new/old g/f WAS a g/f, then what? and if he didn't admit it? what then??? where are you going with that line of "analyzing"? i ask b/c i've spent a lifetime doing as you're doing. thinking that i could reason my way out of feeling. or that i could think about something SO MUCH i would eventually see something i hadn't seen the last 1000 times i thought about it. sometimes i think there is no reason. so...decide to do something good for yourself. stop it. i know, cliche and difficult. you're friends hang out with him, etc. yes yes yes...VERY hard. i know. but is continuing this line of thinking doing you any good? really? you'll be ok whether he admits his new/old g/f is a g/f or not.
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