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He disappeared on me and I'm not sure why


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Posted

So, to make a long story short, I went on a date with this guy last Sunday and it turned out really good. He had brought up some ideas for future dates and we kissed goodbye. He texted me for the next two days and brought again up going to dinner and trying to aim for the end of the week to go, I definitely said yes.

 

The last time we talked, it was kind of a short conversation, just a “Hey, here’s this funny thing you should check out.” That was Tuesday evening and I haven’t heard from him since.

 

I texted him earlier yesterday and got nothing, no reply at all. I’m just kind of confused. If I hadn’t heard from him after the date It wouldn’t have bothered me as much but the fact that he went out of his way to tell me he had such a great time and him asking to take me out again, why would he just go ghost? He’s still following me on social media which could mean absolutely nothing but still, it’s just all super weird to me.

Posted

you met him online? then no surprise. these things happen all the time.

Completely a waste of time to figure out why. Move on.

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Posted
you met him online? then no surprise. these things happen all the time.

Completely a waste of time to figure out why. Move on.

 

Not entirely that different from dating in person, I met an ex of mine online and we ended up together for 3 years. My schedule is pretty loaded most of the time so I figured I'd try it again. This could've easily happened with someone I met in person, still doesn't give me much of a reason why.

Posted
Not entirely that different from dating in person, I met an ex of mine online and we ended up together for 3 years. My schedule is pretty loaded most of the time so I figured I'd try it again. This could've easily happened with someone I met in person, still doesn't give me much of a reason why.

 

My point is, it's a waste of time trying to figure out why. Just move on.

  • Like 2
Posted
My point is, it's a waste of time trying to figure out why. Just move on.

 

I agree with this. Mostly due to the fact that you've only gone on one date with this guy. It isn't very uncommon for people to disappear early on in dating.

 

If you had been seeing eachother longer, it would be a different story.

Posted
My point is, it's a waste of time trying to figure out why. Just move on.

 

yep.

happens probably 3 out of 5 times for me.

they liked you but met someone "better".

don't be surprised when they contact you a week or two later when "better" didn't pan out.

 

I personally make them work a little for a 2nd date by hardly initiating just to see if they really are interested or just bored.

Posted
yep.

happens probably 3 out of 5 times for me.

they liked you but met someone "better".

don't be surprised when they contact you a week or two later when "better" didn't pan out.

 

I personally make them work a little for a 2nd date by hardly initiating just to see if they really are interested or just bored.

 

or they probably just don't like you...

sometimes we think the date went great but the other person didn't actually think the same

i had some dates that were just dull but i still try my best to make them laugh but i basically just "disappeared" afterwards.

  • Like 1
Posted

You'll never find out why, but I'll give you the most likely scenario.

 

It was online dating so he was dating more than one girl. You were just one of a handful+.

 

It was a good date, but probably not the best out of the one's he's been on. You were ghosted on, he's focusing on the others.

 

That's the beast of online dating these days. It's a complete s.h!t show. No real consideration, it's kind of like people are just "things" these days. Interchangeable, disposable.

Posted

Also i think he could be trying to set a pace that he wants. If he kept in contact past Tuesday, you'd be expecting a weekend date. To avoid that, he disappears the end of work week and then reappears the beginning of this coming week. Safe to assume he is dating others and either already had weekend plans and/or one of these relationships is gaining some tractions. It has only been one date, you should take it as casually as he is taking it. You don't expect that he would know he wants to marry you yet, do you? Although I do think its lame of him to disappear for 5 solid days if you are planting seeds where dating you "could" lead to more.

Posted
My point is, it's a waste of time trying to figure out why. Just move on.

 

THIS...

 

Especially since it was ONE date. I mean good first dates are a dime a dozen. But do you know how many good first dates I've had w/women that ended in making out no less, where the second date was terrible? That's why it's better IMO just to keep a date to date mindset, and keep realistic expectations. The glass half full version is that you got to have fun for a night and weren't stuck at home.

  • Like 2
Posted
yep.

happens probably 3 out of 5 times for me.

they liked you but met someone "better".

don't be surprised when they contact you a week or two later when "better" didn't pan out.

 

I personally make them work a little for a 2nd date by hardly initiating just to see if they really are interested or just bored.

 

That's a very high percentage. You might want to look into how you are alienating them so frequently. It won't always be that they simply met somebody else.

Posted

What happened...he liked your date but you aren't the only one he is dating. One of the other relationships has gone farther than yours. You are more likely option 2.

Posted

A lot of people on LS seem to assume someone else has to be involved when your date fades. And that may be the case. But it's just as likely that while the guy you had a first date with was interested in the moment, after the date, he realised his interest was only lukewarm. Or he's a chronic first / short term dater who does lots of future talk but never actually follows through. Or he got hit by a bus. I always assume a guy who goes silent all of a sudden must have just died... :)

 

You'll never know why he went quiet, but really, don't worry about it. You wouldn't want to date someone who makes suggestions and doesn't follow through anyway!

  • Like 1
Posted

if a guy is interested in you, its the same as if a woman is interested in a guy.

 

There are no games or lack of communication (unless one is immature).

 

If he is ignoring you, he either doesn't want you or he is playing you.

Posted
A lot of people on LS seem to assume someone else has to be involved when your date fades. And that may be the case. But it's just as likely that while the guy you had a first date with was interested in the moment, after the date, he realised his interest was only lukewarm. Or he's a chronic first / short term dater who does lots of future talk but never actually follows through. Or he got hit by a bus. I always assume a guy who goes silent all of a sudden must have just died... :)

 

You'll never know why he went quiet, but really, don't worry about it. You wouldn't want to date someone who makes suggestions and doesn't follow through anyway!

 

they might not have bus service in her town.

 

Or do they?

 

Weekly passes are cheaper ;)

Posted

There are a lot of multidaters online. If you are not a multidater yourself, then you need to screen them harder before agreeing to meet them... And don't agree to meet men who are doing a lot of multi dating.

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