SixthSt.Girl Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I have posted about work relationship issues on here a couple times before - my workplace environment is very small and there tends to be a lot of drama because it's not a very professional environment. The owner, my boss, and I have had some flirtation in the past - he's married, and it hasn't gone beyond joking and touching. I left the business for a short time to take a job that I later decided wasn't right for me. I ended up coming back, and the time away created some distance. It has been awkward for everyone because they know I am still looking for other jobs - the hours and pay are just not there at this job. The owner's brother - I'll call him "Bob" - is also somewhat of a flirt. He has been more direct - he compliments me on my appearance and has asked me to go to church with him a few times. I had thought it was just his outgoing personality, but he's not this way with my co-workers at all. I hesitated to feed into it because I did not want a relationship, and he's not really my type. Lately, though he has been so sweet and I feel myself wanting a friendship with him. He came in the other day and gave me a big hug. I was shocked and just stood there. He pretended to get all offended, but later said he was just joking. I still didn't know what to say and just nodded, perplexed. I hoped he didn't take it personally - I really do like him, but I have a tendency to clam up around him. I'm still unsure about my feelings. I don't get to see him a whole lot because he doesn't come in that much, and I only work a few days a week. He owns half the building, and comes in to handle some of the maintenance and is also getting the space next door ready to be rented out again since its occupant just left. I don't want him to think that I'm a snob or am not interested - it's just strange, given my position at the store. The manager joked about it, though, I can tell she was a little put off by it. She is new and came from a business that was a lot more professional. It is uncomfortable to have conversations with him when she's around, so I tend to not say much. It's just difficult, because I can feel myself wanting to get closer to him, and I know that he has similar feelings. I wish that I could get him in the store somehow when I work alone and get it all out in the open. I'd like some advice on what I should do from here, if anything. Hopefully, I can get another job offer soon, and exit this business...
Bronzepen Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by SixthSt.Girl I have posted about work relationship issues on here a couple times before - my workplace environment is very small and there tends to be a lot of drama because it's not a very professional environment. The owner, my boss, and I have had some flirtation in the past - he's married, and it hasn't gone beyond joking and touching. I left the business for a short time to take a job that I later decided wasn't right for me. I ended up coming back, and the time away created some distance. It has been awkward for everyone because they know I am still looking for other jobs - the hours and pay are just not there at this job. The owner's brother - I'll call him "Bob" - is also somewhat of a flirt. He has been more direct - he compliments me on my appearance and has asked me to go to church with him a few times. I had thought it was just his outgoing personality, but he's not this way with my co-workers at all. I hesitated to feed into it because I did not want a relationship, and he's not really my type. Lately, though he has been so sweet and I feel myself wanting a friendship with him. He came in the other day and gave me a big hug. I was shocked and just stood there. He pretended to get all offended, but later said he was just joking. I still didn't know what to say and just nodded, perplexed. I hoped he didn't take it personally - I really do like him, but I have a tendency to clam up around him. I'm still unsure about my feelings. I don't get to see him a whole lot because he doesn't come in that much, and I only work a few days a week. He owns half the building, and comes in to handle some of the maintenance and is also getting the space next door ready to be rented out again since its occupant just left. I don't want him to think that I'm a snob or am not interested - it's just strange, given my position at the store. The manager joked about it, though, I can tell she was a little put off by it. She is new and came from a business that was a lot more professional. It is uncomfortable to have conversations with him when she's around, so I tend to not say much. It's just difficult, because I can feel myself wanting to get closer to him, and I know that he has similar feelings. I wish that I could get him in the store somehow when I work alone and get it all out in the open. I'd like some advice on what I should do from here, if anything. Hopefully, I can get another job offer soon, and exit this business... Don't mix business with pleasure or dip your pen in the company ink. It's not worth it. No matter the size of the company or the type of job you do. Your there to collect a pay check and that's it. Sure there is always exceptions but they simply prove the rule. Not worth the risk. Don't worry about how he feels. You don't need to have any conversations with him. Keep it professional. Your there to work not flirt......Hey that rhymes. Just keep all your conversation about business. He will know where your coming from. Good Luck.
morrigan Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I agree, keep it business like when you're at work, you're treading risky waters when you get involved with co-workers. People are going to gossip, no matter how discreet you think you are being. Wait until you find another job, then decide how you feel about this guy.
lostinlove0479 Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Well, my sentiments are as such. I can totally relate b/c I had been having these same issues at my job. I’d been crushing on this guy and he’d flirt but I wouldn’t really flirt back. It was bad timing for me b/c I’d just stopped seeing this guy (who I also work with) after dating for 7 mths and being that we work for the same company (a rather large company), it was hard to be there and see him and not speak. I thought about the whole work relationship thing and even though your situation is different from mine, being that I don’t work directly with my ex nor my crush but I do see them a few times a day in passing. Your situation is a little bit stickier. My stance on dating at work is knowing HOW to mix business with pleasure. If you keep work at work and keep your personal relationship outside of the office, there is no problem. You have to know those boundaries and respect them. There are plenty of people who work with their spouses as long as they realize at work we have business to take care of and if a lunch break provides time then we can talk. Going out with the boss could be a bad situation, although you said that you don’t plan on working there for much longer. That would be to your discretion. Gossip will always be an issue. People are gonna have their say on things they have no knowledge about. But, if your guy is trustworthy to be mature enough to handle a relationship of that magnitude, there shouldn’t be much to gossip about.
Author SixthSt.Girl Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 [color=green]Going out with the boss could be a bad situation, although you said that you don’t plan on working there for much longer. That would be to your discretion. [/color] Well, he's not my boss exactly. He does own half the building, but he's not that active in the operations of the store. His brother is the only one who can give approval on things, sign checks, etc. It would still be a little awkward, but like you said, there just has to be empasis on keeping work and pleasure separate. I'm probably not going to be there much longer - I think something will work out soon jobwise, but if not, I'm thinking of going back to school. I may or may not remain in this area. That's why I'm kinda anxious about this - I don't know how much time I have.
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